The MiSTing Of the Episodes of Animorphs
by AquaianGoddess
Summary: Umm Rated PG for sick humor and curses.....Just read it...I had LOTS of fun with this.
1. Episode One

MiST #1 of Animorph TV  
By: Aquaian Goddess  
  
Disclaimer: This was done for fun, all flames will be laughed at. The script was supplied by Aquatta (Mail her @ AquattaFGJ@aol.com)  
  
Notes: Thought-speech with be represented with *s and all things in ~These~ are my comments, and the stuff in ^These^ is my muse, Marco, from the Animorphs.   
  
^HEY! Why can't Joe, Matt, Tai or Izzy do this!?^   
  
~Because Joe's hanging out with Izzy and Matt and Tai are trying to kill each other.~   
  
^Good reason. Warning: Some joke are VERY perverted or offensive.^   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
Episode #1-My Name is Jake  
(Scene opens with Jake walking down the street with him doing a voice-over)  
  
^I thought Jake had brown hair.^   
  
~He does, casting department screwed up already!~   
  
^::scribbles something on a peice of paper:: Black mark for them.^  
  
Jake Voice-over- My name is Jake. Half an hour ago I was just a regular kid. Not anymore. It's amazing how quickly your whole life can change.   
  
~And we all care about you going through puberty because?~  
  
^Yeah, one minute you have brown hair and then next, POOF! You're a BLONDE!^   
  
(A flash of whats to come is shown, then the scene changes to Cyberia where Jake and Marco are playing a Beast Wars video game.)   
  
^Oh! Scene change! Yay!^  
  
~It's not SUPPOSED to be a Beast Wars game, it's supposed to be something else, but they USED a Beast Wars game.~   
  
^At least theyre resourceful.^  
  
Computer- Congradulations Galactic Warrior. You are now in the Overlord Palace(slightly indesipherable) with two hundred thirty thousand points. Please enter your name.   
  
(The name is entered as Jake)   
  
~Didn't he just SAY his name was Jake? Why did he have to tell us that again?~   
  
^That part was obviously sponsered by the Department of Redundacy Department.^   
  
Computer- Getting enemy overload surge-   
  
(The computer becomes unheard as Marco fights with Jake over the controls. Homer is nearby)   
  
~What's a dog doing in this Cyberia place? Why do the Canadians even HAVE a place like Cyberia?~   
  
^I dont know, but if they had a place like that here, you know you'd spend more of your life there then you do playing your Playstation and working on your website.^   
  
~I hate it when you have a point.~  
  
Marco- I'll get you to (word is undesipherable)   
  
Jake- Are you dreaming again Marco?   
  
~This can't be a dream, Marco was supposed to have LONG HAIR in the beginning of the series. Mister Cabera here doesn't. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!~   
  
^Isn't a Cabera an animal in the Amazon rain forest? ::notices the hair:: AHH! MY HAIR! What did they DO?!^   
  
Marco- Come on,   
  
Jake- What do you think Homer?   
  
(Homer looks up and barks twice)   
  
Marco- See? See?   
  
~What the dog was actually trying to say was, 'Why dont you let ME play since I have better acting skills then both of you combined?' ~  
  
^Isn't that dog a girl? I thought Homer was a boy! The things Jake hides from me.^   
  
Jake(rolling his eyes)- All right, you're on. Go.   
  
(Marco takes the controls and starts playing. Tobias is in a corner playing the same game. Other kids are watching him)   
  
Computer- Congradulations Wolf(?) You are now in the magi-oxysphere(sounds like that) with three million, six hundred and sixty thousand points.   
  
^HA! Tobias is better at this game then myself and Jake! ::sobs:: I'll never live it down!^   
  
~And he has a leather jacket! Not to mention cool hair, even though HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CASTED AS JAKE, he's still okay.~  
  
(The camera toggles ~Wow toggling! New word for my vocabulary!~ ^What vocabulary?^ between Marco and Jake and Tobias. An alarm sounds, Tobias' game stops)   
  
Computer- Alert! Alert! Please enter more coins. One minute playing time to go.   
  
~Wouldnt it be more affective to warn them when they have FIVE minutes playing time?~   
  
^A FIRST! You actually have a point there AG!^   
  
~::pouting:: Marco, that's so cruel. ::Scowling:: Save it for the MiST!~   
  
(Tobias goes to his pocket, but then changes his mind and clicks the keyboard)   
  
~No, he didn't change his mind, he has no money left.~   
  
^::as Tobias:: Damn! I ran out of money that was supposed to be for that hooker my uncle wanted. Oh well^   
  
Computer- Mission failed.   
  
~::in a monotone:: I am a Heero Yuy Wanna be.~  
  
^HA! Foolish boy! See, I would have just asked Jake for money.^   
  
Kid- Don't you want to see what's next?   
  
Tobias- Later.   
  
~There will never be a later, young padawan! ~  
  
^You'll never go back there again! Hahahahahahaa!^   
  
(He gets up and walks out, bumping into Rachel and Cassie)   
  
^No, he only bumped into Rachel.^  
  
~Which caused her the drag him into a nearby closet and make out with him.~   
  
Rachel(to Tobias)- Oh, hi.   
  
~Rachel, what obvious brown roots you have!~  
  
^Rachels eyes are brown. Arent they supposed to be blue?^   
  
(Tobias leaves. The girls make their way towards the guys)   
  
Rachel- Hey guys.   
  
Jake- Where have you been?   
  
^You were supposed to meet me in the closet so we could make out.^   
  
Marco- One word. Sale.   
  
~::Shrugs:: Can't diss that one, it's most likely true.~   
  
^Book Rachel was ever the shop-aholic, wasn't she?^ (Marco and Jake laugh)   
  
Rachel- Excuse me, but I am captain of the gymnastics team. We had a meet.   
  
~::Scowls:: Gymnastics teams HAVE NO CAPTIAN! And a gymnastics meet is when teams go up against other teams in compitions!::grumbles::~   
  
^Therefore what you were really doing was SHOPPING! ADMIT IT!^   
  
(Jake and Marco return to their game)   
  
Rachel- So what have you been doing, Galactic Warrior?   
  
Marco- Shh, shh.   
  
(The computer starts talking, but slows and falters. The game breaks up and fuzzes as if there were interferance. Homer starts barking)   
  
~::As the Computer:: I just relized what bad actors you are, youre not allowed to play anymore.~   
  
^::Sighs:: I could have done better.^   
  
Marco- Hey! Whats going on? That's not fair,   
  
Jake- You just got blown away.   
  
^Whoa, I got blown?^   
  
~::Slaps him upside the head:: NOT THAT KIND OF BLOWN! Get that sick mind of yours out of the gutter.~  
  
Marco- Eh heh,   
  
(Homer barks again then runs off)   
  
Jake- Homer! No! Homer! Homer!   
  
(They all run out except for Marco)   
  
Marco- Jake! We already payed for another twenty minutes!   
  
^So use it up nimrod.^   
  
~Marco got dissed, BY HIMSELF!~  
  
(Marco makes a face then runs after them. They chase Homer towards the site)   
  
Jake- Come on boy, let's go!   
  
^He is going, away from you, but at least he's going somewhere!^  
  
~He's running from their bad acting.~   
  
Marco- Looks like those obediance classes are paying off.   
  
^Now that's a me comment, almost.^   
  
Cassie- What's up with him anyway?   
  
Jake- I don't know. But we have to get him back.   
  
^You do to know what's up with him. LIAR!^  
  
~You forgot to get him nutered so he's off to find his Boston Terrier lover.~   
  
(The camera again toggles ~There it is again!~ ^What?^ ~TOGGLES!~ between the others chasing Homer closer to the site and Tobias walking towards the site)   
  
Jake- Homer! Where you going?   
  
~Yes Jake, the dog is going to answer back~   
  
Rachel- Homer!   
  
Jake- Homer come here!   
  
Marco- Homer!   
  
Jake- Homer stop! This isnt funny!   
  
^Yes it is. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!^  
  
(Homer squeezes through a half opened gate. Tobias, on another end of the site I guess, goes through a gate)   
  
Rachel- What's over there? Homer?   
  
Marco- This place creeps me out,   
  
^Wait, it's supposed to be a construcction site, not a plant of some sort.^  
  
Cassie- Hey guys, it's getting late.   
  
~And we care because?~   
  
(The kids sneak in the same way as Homer did)   
  
^They dug underneath the gate??^   
  
~No way, they snuck in the Tobias way! ~  
  
Rachel- We looked everywhere, he's not here.   
  
~You just got there dorkus, you haven't looked everywhere yet.~   
  
^Dorkus?? ^  
  
Jake- We've got to find him. Come on Homer! Come on!   
  
(They all spilt up, calling and whistling. Jake spots Marco and Cassie)   
  
Jake- Do you see him?   
  
Cassie- No.   
  
Marco- Nada, man. Yo, Homer!   
  
~Presenting the correct way to call a dog. YO!~   
  
^I think I made it very clear in book number 20 that I do not use the word 'yo' at all. I am not a 'yo' person. That time was the only exception.^   
  
Rachel- Hey! He's over here!   
  
(They find Tobias standing with Homer sitting next to him)   
  
Cassie- He seems okay now.   
  
Jake- Hey, thanks.   
  
Tobias- Sure.   
  
Jake- Come here Homer. Come on, good boy,   
  
~::singing:: Come on over, come on over baby!~   
  
Rachel(walking to Tobias)- You're new around here, right?   
  
^Yeah I am, but I'm in most of your classes and you said 'hi' to me, not to mention we spoke the first day I WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL!!!^   
  
Tobias(pointing)- Look.   
  
~It's your brain, Brooke.~  
  
^Floating out in space? I'm not surprised.^   
  
(They all turn to see a UFO coming towards them)   
  
Cassie- Whoa,   
  
Jake- Look at that,   
  
^Cute girl! ::TV Marco, TV Jake and TV Tobias go after her, ignoring the UFO::^   
  
Rachel- Too weird.   
  
~That you are Brooke.~   
  
(They see it crash. They run to it and find it. Jake steps forward)   
  
Jake- Let's go.   
  
Marco(holding Jake back)- Whoa, wait. I don't think so.   
  
Cassie- What if someone's hurt?   
  
Rachel- She's right. I'm in.   
  
Marco- Huh? You're insane.   
  
^FINIALLY! A direct 'me' quote! ^  
  
(They all walk off. Marco makes another face)   
  
Marco-Oh man. Wait up!   
  
(They run closer to the ship. A strong wind blows. The door of the ship opens, bathing the five in light. Homer barks as a creature comes out, they hear its hooves walking down the plank)   
  
^Ohhh, the light. ^  
  
Jake- There's something coming out.   
  
^Duh.^   
  
~No, there's nothing coming out. You're all insane an this is just a hallucination.~   
  
Marco- Uh huh. This is the part where we hide amigo.   
  
^SINCE WHEN DO I USE SPANISH ON A REGULAR BASIS?! I ONLY KNOW 50 DAMN WORDS!^  
  
(They hide behind a bunch of junk, they stare at the creature who is still walking)   
  
~Hey, I can still see them. They didn't hide very well in my humble opinion.~   
  
Rachel- What is it?   
  
Marco- I, I dont know but its definately not from my hood.   
  
~Now youre a Ghetto Peuto Rican Marco?~   
  
^NOOO! SPARE ME!^   
  
(They watch the creature collapse, obviously hurt. Cassie jumps up, the others pull her down.)   
  
~The Creature looks like a demented furby.~  
  
^You mean it isn't?^   
  
Marco- What are you doing?   
  
Cassie- It looks like it's hurt.   
  
Marco- Yeah, so?   
  
Rachel- So we have to help it.   
  
^Who's we? ^  
  
Marco- What if it's, like, radioactive or something?   
  
Rachel- Oh, please.   
  
~We all know Brooke's radioactive~   
  
(They all slowly start walking towards the Andalite. Homer barks)   
  
Jake- Stay.   
  
Marco- Oh, sure, the dog gets to stay.   
  
^Yes, you have to save the best actor you know.^   
  
Rachel- Maybe we should try talking to it.   
  
Marco- Yeah. Just let me get out my Alien-English dictionary.   
  
^::Pulls one out:: Marco no baka. ^  
  
~::Grabs it:: Thats a Japanese English Dictionary, BAKA! ~  
  
^Then what did I just say? ^  
  
~Roughly Translated? Marco you idiot.~   
  
Elfangor- *Do not be afraid. I mean you no harm.*   
  
(They look around, confused)   
  
Jake- Where did that come from?   
  
Marco- I heard it, but I didn't hear it.   
  
~I love it when they contradict themselves.~   
  
Tobias- I heard it. In my head.   
  
~^::Both singing:: I hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring..... ^~  
  
Rachel- We all heard it.   
  
Elfangor- *I am speaking to you in thoughts.*   
  
~REALLY? COOL!~   
  
(He makes a pained sound. Cassie steps forward)   
  
Cassie- You're hurt. We can help you.   
  
~::As TV Marco:: We? Who's 'we'? YOU can help it, yeah, WE can't.~  
  
^Almost like me, not quite, Christina.^   
  
Elfangor- *I am Elfangor of the Andalite World. Ive come-*   
  
~To suck you brains out through your nose with a straw.~  
  
^You can't, they have no brains.^   
  
(He moans slightly, in tremendous pain)   
  
~How can you moan slightly and be in tremendous pain at the same time?~   
  
^That's an oxymoron isn't it?^   
  
Cassie- Jake give me your shirt. He's wounded.   
  
~STRIP TEASE! STRIP TEASE!~   
  
^::As TV Jake:: Cassie! Not here, the others are here!^   
  
(Jake takes off his jacket and hands it to Cassie. She presses it to Elfangors wound)   
  
Elfangor- *There's nothing you can do for me.*   
  
^Yes there is. SOMEONE GET A CAMERA!^   
  
Rachel- It's going to be okay. Cassie knows a lot about animals.   
  
~They're assuming a cross between a Dr. Suess puppet and a demented Furby on crack is an animal. ~  
  
^They're assuming a bit much aren't they?^   
  
Marco- Way to insult the guy Rach,   
  
Elfangor- *The wound is fatal. I will die. But there will be others.*   
  
^Others? THERES MORE EPISODES?!?!^   
  
Jake- Others?   
  
Elfangor- *Unlike me, they have come to destroy you. There is no time for fear. You must help your world. But you must protect yourselves from the Yeerks.*   
  
~^::shrug::^~ ^Let them take over, we don't care.^   
  
~Really. ~  
  
Marco- The whats?   
  
Elfangor- *The Yeerks. They are-*(He raises a hand up. ~^::Imitating Diana Ross and the Supremes:: Stop! In the Name on love! Before you break my heart!^~ He sends them a vision of what he explains) *The Yeerks are parasites. They must have a host to live in. On Earth, their hosts are humans. They enter your brain and take over your thoughts and feelings. These hosts are called Controllers. They can be anyone. Your family. Your friends. Earth is their next target.*   
  
^::dull voice::We're doomed.^   
  
~Now now, none of that. I wanna hear you up beat!~   
  
^::Up beat kind of voice:: Were doomed!^   
  
Marco- Wait a sec, you're telling my that some slimy, alien slug can crawl into our brains and take over our minds?   
  
^What minds?^   
  
Rachel- And control us?   
  
~Yes. HA! April Fools! You humans are so easy!~   
  
Elfangor- *Yes. There is no time for questions. I must do what I can for you. I have no choice. I can give you a way to fight the Yeerks.*   
  
(Elfangor holds up a glowing cube)   
  
^Wasn't Jake supposed to go inside the ship to get that?^   
  
~He pulled it out of Spandexdom!~  
  
^NO GUNDAM WING REFERALS!^   
  
Elfangor- *Each of you must touch one side of the cube.*   
  
Marco- I'm not touching that.   
  
^Screw saving the world. I'm going home!^   
  
Elfangor- *If you don't, then everything you love will be destroyed. Your brothers,*   
  
~GOOD! LET THEM ALL DIE! They mean nothing to me!~   
  
(Marco looks up at Jake)   
  
Elfangor- *Your sisters,*   
  
(A shot of Rachel)   
  
Elfangor- *Your parents.*   
  
(Close up of Tobias)   
  
~He doesnt have any, why should he care? ~  
  
Jake- Rachel, I don't know.   
  
Rachel- You heard him. We have no choice.   
  
Marco- Man this is insane!   
  
~YAY! ~  
  
^Another me quote!^   
  
(Jake reaches forward and touches the cube. It glows a redish color. Then Rachel, Cassie, Marco touch the cube. Tobias is standing a step away from them)   
  
Elfangor- *This gift is for you too, Tobias.*   
  
Tobias- How do you know my name?   
  
~::Darth Vader voice:: Tobias I am your father.~   
  
^::As Tobias:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!^   
  
Elfangor- *Hurry.*   
  
(Tobias reaches forward and touches the cube. The wind blows strong, Homer barks)   
  
~YEAH! Homer wants the power too you know! ~  
  
Marco- Now what?   
  
^You get lots of Spandex and give yourselves super cheesy names.^   
  
Jake- Something's wrong.   
  
(All of a sudden they pull their hands away with a gasp)   
  
Elfangor- *It is done. The power to change is in your flesh.*   
  
Jake- Change? What kind of change?   
  
Elfangor- *You need only to touch a creature to aquire its DNA pattern and change your form.*   
  
~In English please! We're not all in Science Regents! ~  
  
^But you ARE in science regents. ^  
  
~But other people aren't. ~  
  
Rachel- Change our form?   
  
~NO! Change your clothes!~   
  
^The ablity to change clothing in two seconds! It's gonna be a hit in gym class.^   
  
Cassie- You mean we can change into animals?   
  
^Oh Cassie. Ever the swift one aren't you?^   
  
~::Holds up a sign:: "Down with Animal Fur Coats! There are more humans out there."~   
  
^::looks sick:: You scare me sometimes ^  
  
Elfangor- *Exactly. You can become any animal you touch and aquire. But remember, when you change you must return to your human form in two Earth hours.*   
  
Tobias- Why? What happens after two hours?   
  
Elfangor- *You'll be trapped in an animal form forever.*   
  
^::Scary Music:: ^  
  
(The ground shakes as another spacecraft lands)   
  
Jake- What's going on?   
  
^The Yeerkish are comeing! The Yeerkish are coming!^   
  
~::Winces:: BAD joke Marco. Not one of your best.~   
  
(Marco also says something, but I can't hear it)   
  
^AHH! Its an anime dub! AHHH!^   
  
Rachel- What's happening?   
  
Elfangor- *Visser Three is here!*   
  
~::Twirls noise makers and boos::~   
  
Marco- What's a Visser Three?   
  
~::Twirls Noisemarkers and boos::~   
  
Elfangor- *You must go! Go!*   
  
(Rachel and Cassie try to help him up)   
  
Elfangor- *Your lives are more important than mine, now go! Go!*   
  
^LIAR! No they aren't!^   
  
~Why don't they just aquire Elfangor THEN run?~   
  
(He sees Tobias)   
  
Elfangor- *Tobias!*   
  
(Tobias stops and looks back.)   
  
Elfangor- *Guard this Tobias! With your heart and your soul!*   
  
(Elfangor throws a disk towards him, but Tobias misses. Rachel pulls his arm)   
  
~WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?!!?!~   
  
^I know! There's no disk in the books!^   
  
~NO! I mean with Rachel pulling on him like that!~  
  
Rachel- Tobias come on!   
  
Tobias- But I have to get it!   
  
^No you dont, its just the latest Matalica CD. No Biggie.^   
  
(The five hide again. ~Poorly I might add, again.~ Out of the other ship another Andalite steps out)   
  
Jake- It's another one.   
  
~^DUH!^~   
  
Cassie- No, this one's different.   
  
Marco- I'm guessing that's Visser Three.   
  
~::Twirls noise-makers and boos::~   
  
^No, that's Superman.^   
  
~REALLY?!~   
  
(Visser Three stands over Elfangor. He doesn't notice the kids)   
  
~HOW CAN HE NOT NOTICE THEM?!?!! ~  
  
Visser Three- *Prince Elfangor, what an honor it is to be in the presence of a legend.*   
  
(Visser Three laughs, Elfangor looks up but can't stand)   
  
Visser Three- *You've managed to shred quite a few of our fighters.*   
  
Elfangor- *Visser Three.*   
  
~::Twirls Noisemakers and boos::~   
  
^Yes, we cleared that up a while ago. ::Glares at AG:: ENOUGH WITH THAT JOKE! No one except another Jewish person thats heard that Jewish story in synogouge, or however its spelled, would get that joke!^   
  
~I know, but it's so much fun!~   
  
Visser Three- *Yes, I have taken one of your Andalite bodies as my host. Your Andalite morphing technology has been some very useful to me.*   
  
~::As Elfangor, drinking tea:: We don't care, youre STILL pathetic, hiding behind morphs to fight your battles. ::stop being Elfangor:: YOU WEAKLING! INJUSTICE!~  
  
^What did I say about the Gundam Wing referals, Christina!^  
  
  
Elfangor- *No matter how many bodies you steal, you will not win this war. We will fight.*   
  
^That doesn't mean you'll win, dude.^  
  
Visser Three- *You and your Andalite army are fighting on too many fronts. Your forces are spread too thin. This world will soon be ours.*   
  
Elfangor- *Why Earth? Why these people?*   
  
Visser Three- *Because there are so many. And they are so weak.   
  
~Not to mention stupid!~   
  
^You're dissing out the human race you know. ^  
  
~For the sake of the joke, Marco, for the sake of the joke. ~  
  
Visser Three-*Our army will be a billion strong. And then I promise you one thing Elfangor. I will return to your world and personally oversee the infestation of your entire family.*   
  
^YAY! Infest them all!^   
  
~PARTY!~   
  
(Visser Three begins to morph into a huge creature)   
  
Visser Three- *I hope they resist so that I can hear their minds scream.*   
  
^He's sadistic! INSANE!^  
  
~HE'S JUST LIKE ME! ~  
  
(Visser Three laughs, then roars in his morph. Then he picks up Elfangor. The kids cringe and look away, all you can see is the shadow of the creature eating Elganfor)   
  
~Tastes like...~   
  
^If you say chicken, you're dead.^   
  
~Swordfish. It could use some salt.~   
  
^NOW YOU'RE QUOTING JAKE?!^   
  
Rachel- No!   
  
Controller #1- Hey! You there!   
  
(Flashlights are pointed at the five)   
  
^What? They aren't worthy of searchlights? ^  
  
~::As Rachel:: This spotlight's not big enough for the five of us! ~  
  
Jake- We gotta get out of here! Come on!   
  
~Run, Jake. Run. ~  
  
^Okay Obi-Wan. ^  
  
Marco- Come on, let's go!   
  
Rachel- They've seen us!   
  
~REALLY? It's your fault they saw you! ~  
  
Jake- Run!   
  
Controller #1- Over there!   
  
(Human Controllers look around where the kids were hiding)   
  
Controller #2- Tell Visser Three that we have a problem. Release the Hork-Bajir.   
  
~Release the hounds!~   
  
^::Blinks:: He sounds like a Russian Nazi communist.^   
  
~So Indiana Jones.~   
  
(The kids run)   
  
~And they're off! Cassie's in the lead, followed closely by Jake. Marco's in thrid and..What's this? Tobias and Rachel are making out in the middle of the track!~   
  
Jake- Come on Homer, come on let's go!   
  
(Cassie screams as she trips and her foot is tangled in wires. ~HA HA!~ ^Klutz^ Rachel and Tobias quickly try to get her free. Marco and Jake spot a Hork-Bajir)   
  
Marco- What is that?   
  
Jake- Want to hang around to find out?   
  
Marco- No thanks. I'll read the book.   
  
~My Life as a Hork-Bajir Controller, By Ali En.~  
  
^Good one.^   
  
Tobias- Cassie's stuck!   
  
~And another one states the obvious~   
  
(Marco runs to them and tries helping. Jake runs and waves his arms)   
  
Jake- Hey! Hey! Over here! Hey stupid, over here!   
  
^::As Hork-Bajir in snotty English voice:: Who are you callig stupid homo-sapian! I have a docterette in psycology, physialogy and in human chemistry.^   
  
~::Blinks:: Whoa. ~  
  
Rachel- Jake no!   
  
~That's right, give away his identity!~   
  
^Yeah, You still havent screwed her yet!^   
  
~EWW! INSEST! ~  
  
Jake- Come on! I'm right here! Come on! Let's go!   
  
^MOM! Jake's hitting on the Hork-Bajir again! ^  
  
(Jake start running, the Hork-Bajir runs after him. They go away from the others. Human Controllers follow them as well, yelling. The Hork-Bajir slashes at Jake, ripping his shirt. Jake crawls into a pipe, the other side is blocked.)   
  
~Wonderful Jake. What's next? Turning into a pimp and making Cassie your hooker?~   
  
^WHAT THE HELL! It walks like a drunk, has funky-lookin vision! WHAT'S NEXT?! ^  
  
Jake- Great.   
  
~We now cut to a Commercial.~   
  
^Ha ha! You're screwed!^   
  
(Outside, he sees a shadow. It's Homer)   
  
Jake- Homer! Homer, come here boy. Come here, come on. Homer it's you, come here.   
  
~I thought Homer was a girl! ~  
  
(Outside the pipe)   
  
Chapman- Keep looking! They have to be somewhere.   
  
^::scary music:: We aren't supposed to know it's Chapman yet, dummy.^   
  
Controller #2- We lost them in the woods.   
  
Chapman- Then go after them! You! One of them is still here. Track him down or answer to Visser Three.   
  
Controller #3- Right.   
  
(The Controller runs off)   
  
Chapman- The incompetence.   
  
~HEY! He stole my word! ~  
  
^Your word is 'Insolence'. ^  
  
~THATS NOT THE POINT! ~  
  
(Jake sees a pair of boots standing outside. One reaches up to scratch the other leg then walks away. ~There's also a glint of shiny metal, belonging to Chapmans Wing tip shoes.~ Then Hork-Bajir feet walk by)   
  
Jake- I need your help Homer.   
  
~No you don't! You need a head doctor kid, not mine.~  
  
(Jake pets Homer, aquires him then morphs into Homer. Outside, Controllers walk to Chapman)   
  
^HEY! He morphed his clothes!^   
  
Controller #3- The footprints lead to that pipe.   
  
Chapman- Come on out of there son!   
  
~How do they know it's a boy?~   
  
(Jake and Homer run out. Jake grabs a flashlight from a Controller.)   
  
Controller #3- Hey! Get back here!   
  
Visser Three- *Did you find them?*   
  
Chapman- No sir. Just a couple of dogs.   
  
^Dogs that are smart enough to grab a flashlight from you? Really Chapman, I thought they don't infest the slow-witted.^   
  
Visser Three- *Get those dogs you fool! They might be Andalites!*   
  
(Two Homers are seen running through the woods. One carries a flashlight. The next day at school, Cassie, Rachel and Marco sit at a table together.)   
  
Cassie- Last night when I got home, I called Jake. He didn't answer.   
  
~Yeah, Tom answered. He said Jake left talking about a strip bar. ~  
  
Rachel- He's smart. Hell show up.   
  
^Jake? Smart? In the same sentance? Not in this TV show.^   
  
(Tobias walks in. Rachel stands and raises her hand)   
  
~Yes Rachel?~   
  
^Teacher, Jake's hitting me again! ^  
  
Rachel- Hey Tobias!   
  
^::Screams:: NOT TOBIAS!^   
  
~ANYONE BUT HIM!~   
  
(Marco nods to him. Tobias waves then sits next to Marco)   
  
Marco- You know, the funniest thing happened to me last night. Some blue dude with four legs put me and a few other idiots to try to save the world.   
  
^At least he got the idiots part right. But the saving the world part was optional.^   
  
Rachel- Quiet. Do you want someone to hear you?   
  
~Oh, so you only want Marco to talk dirty to YOU huh? ~  
  
^::Grins:: Only the book Rachel I'd do that for.^   
  
Cassie- What if that thing got him?   
  
(Jake walks over and puts his luch tray down, making the others jump)   
  
Jake- It didn't. Listen,   
  
~NOOO! You're still alive?! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! ~  
  
(The others gather closer, Jake whispers)   
  
Jake- I did it. I mean, it works. I became Homer last night. That's how I got away.   
  
^::As TV Marco:: You did it? With Cassie? Dude! You scored before me man!^   
  
Marco- You serious?   
  
Jake- It was so bizzare. I was trapped. I had no other choice and I remembered what the alien said. So I put my hand on Homer and just started concentrating. All of a sudden, I started mutating. I could hear my bones crunching and twisting.   
  
^::Looks sick:: Oh man.^   
  
Marco- Oh man,   
  
~AHH! You predicted what he'd say! ~  
  
Jake- I watched my hand become a paw. I became my dog.   
  
Rachel- You were Homer?   
  
~^ Doh! ^~  
  
Jake- Well, actually a copy. I mean, Homer was there too.   
  
Marco- Did it hurt?   
  
^::As TV Jake:: It hurt like HELL man! Dont the Andalites have Novicain or something?! ^  
  
Jake- No, not really. I mean, it's hard to explain. At first I didnt know what I was. I, I mean I could hear everything. And the smells!   
  
(Jake notices the others are looking at him skeptically)   
  
Jake- You don't believe me, do you?   
  
~Of course we do. BRING IN THE STRIGHT JACKET MARV! ~  
  
Marco- No, no, we do, really. We just, it's just, it's just too weird. Beyond too weird.   
  
^Why are they talking about it in public? They cant be THAT stupid, can they?^   
  
~They are that stupid. ~  
  
Rachel- Way beyond.   
  
Jake- But I swear, it's true. I mean, I keep on thinking Im going to wake up and this is all going to be a dream. But its not. What we saw last night was real. It happened. Right? It happened.   
  
(The others don't answer for a minute)   
  
Marco- So now what? Save the world? Can we eat first?   
  
~::laughs, then stops:: No.~   
  
Rachel- Stop kidding. What do we do? Where do we start?   
  
Marco- How about that blue dude? You know, the nice one?   
  
Tobias- Elfangor.   
  
Jake- Yeah. He tried to give you something.   
  
Rachel- What was it?   
  
Tobias- It looked like some kind of a disk or something. It's gotta be important. He said that I should guard it with my heart and my soul.   
  
Rachel- He knew your name. How come?   
  
~::As TV Tobias:: Cause hes my father. Every father knows their son's name right? ~  
  
^Uhh. no?^   
  
Tobias- Like I know. I mean, he's probably telepathic or something.   
  
Cassie- But that disk. It's gotta be able to help us somehow.   
  
Jake- We have to get it back.   
  
~You never had it in the first place dorkus. ~  
  
^Again with the 'dorkus' thing.^   
  
Marco- Are you kidding me?   
  
Jake- Shh!   
  
Marco- They practically got us on the FBI's ten most wanted list. Did you hear the news?   
  
^News? You mean that we were in the news? COOL!^   
  
Jake- Yeah, they're looking for some kids who were setting off fireworks.   
  
Rachel- Fireworks? Huh, that's a laugh.   
  
~::crickets chirp:: No one's laughing. ~  
  
^Hey, at least theyre TRYING to stick with the story line.^   
  
Cassie- Then theyre lying. Maybe they got Yeerks in their heads.   
  
Marco- That means the Yeerks could be anyone.   
  
(A kid trips and lands by their table. They jump. Someone helps the kid up and they walk away)   
  
^You mean like that kid?^   
  
~Nah, hes just stoned. ~  
  
Rachel- If they saw our faces, they would have caught us by now.   
  
(A couple of kids start fighting, but stop as Chapman walks by)   
  
Jake- We can't talk here. Anyone can be one of them.   
  
Cassie- A Controller.   
  
^REALLY?! I couldn't tell.^   
  
(They look around the cafeteria. Chapman stops by the monitor)   
  
Chapman- Is anyone going to reign in this chaos or do I have to do everything myself?   
  
~::As Monitor:: Dude, I'm reading. YOU can control the little twits, I'm out of here. ~  
  
Monitor- I'm sorry Mr. Chapman.   
  
(She gets up and walks quickly away)   
  
Chapman- The incompetence.   
  
(Jake notices Chapman lift one boot to scratch his leg, then realizes it was him at the site)   
  
Jake- Come here,   
  
(The others gather close to Jake. He whispers again)   
  
Jake- From now on we just talk to each other. Trust no one. Principal Chapman is a Controller.   
  
^PRINCIPAL?!! When did CHAPMAN BECOME A FRICKIN PRINCIPAL?!^   
  
(They all sit back, the others seem shocked. Jake's voice over again)   
  
Jake Voice Over- Five of us against an army of alien slugs. And anyone can be one of them.   
  
^Of course you can forget about all the 25 someodd Yeerks in the Peace Movement.^ 


	2. Episode Two

The MiSTing Of Animorphs, Part 2  
~Hey all! We are BACK!~  
^And this time, it's the second episode of AniTV we are ripping into.^  
~Same discalimers apply, and I got the transscript from Aquatta's site.~  
^Go there! The address is: http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/animorphsfics/.^  
~A quick note, when you see anything we say in "quotetation marks" is indicating that Marco and I are doing the "Dr.Evil and Mini air quote thing" okay? Anyway, ON WITH THE MiST!!~   
  
Episode #2- My Name is Jake Part Two  
(Scene opens with Jake's voice-over as he walks down the street)   
Jake Voice Over- My name is Jake. That's all I can tell you. I can't tell you my last name or where I live becasue the Controllers are everywhere.   
^He has a thing with stating the obvious, doesn't he?^  
(Jake sees someone washing a car. He smiles slightly)   
Jake- How you doing?  
~Notice the look on that guys face. He doesn't know the supposed "Jake" and he doesn't like him either!~  
(Jake stops by a woman and her child in a stroller)   
Jake- Nice day.   
(The woman continues on her way. He continues the voice-over)   
^Jake is just not a popular guy in this town!^  
Jake Voice Over- It could be anyone. It could be you.   
~Yes Jake, that is why you are telling us that you exsist. You are so smart sometimes it's scary!~  
^Yeah, first he runs into a deadend, then he brags about it in public, now he's just being plain old redundent!^  
(Jake watches a police car drive by, its sirens blasting. He hides behind a bush near the site. He sees a truck with a sign that says "Caution: Hazerdous Material." Jake sneaks around the site and sees people in yellow suits picking up junk)  
^::in Tacky Austrailian accent:: Again, we see the elusive "Jake" hideing very poorly and STILL not being noticed!^  
~::in same accent as Marco:: The "Jakes" are a very rare breed highly know for there sheer dumb luck, and redundent statements.~   
Controller #1- There can be no sight that the Andalite was here.   
^Can't we just leave it as it is man??^  
~NO! The Yeerks have to be wasting time cleaning up pecies of rusted metal.~  
(A van drives up. Chapman gets out)   
Chapman- What's taking so long?  
^::As Worker:: GO AWAY MAN! Jerry Springers on!^  
~::As another worker:: OH OH! Did you see that! He just pimp-slaped that dragqueen!~  
^::Still as worker:: See what you made me miss Chapman! ^  
Controller #1- Well we didn't expect this must debris. There must be a thousand pieces.   
^::Still as worker:: Nuh uh! ::Holds up a peice of metal:: Ninehundred ninety-nine peices now!^  
We only need a couple of more hours.   
~YOU WEAK FOOLS! INJUSTICE!~  
^Again, with the Gundam Wing referals.^  
(Jake runs off without being seen. ^How does he DO that?^ ~What?~ ^Dissappear like that, without being seen.^ ~SHEER DUMB LUCK!~ ^Oh.^ Scene changes to Cassie's backyard where different animals can be seen. ^Why do they have a Llama?^ ~No one will ever know.~ Tobias is watching a black horse. ~Getting racist now aren't we?~ ^You're pathectic.^ ~MARCO! There's something in your hair!~ ^Where?!^ ~Got ya. And you call me pathectic!~ Cassie's mom, Aysha, walks up to him, holding a red-tailed hawk)   
Aysha- Hello. Are you looking for Cassie?  
~Oh, you must be Cassie's new pimp!~   
Tobias- Uh, yeah.   
^::Bursts into laughter::^  
~Odd, man.~  
Aysha- She's around here somewhere. I'm Cassie's mom. I, I haven't seen you before.  
^Tobias is so big and imitating, she's stuttering? ^  
~Really Aysha, don't you know that he's not YOUR pimp?~  
(Rachel and Marco run over to them)  
^BAYWATCH SCENE! ^  
Rachel- That's Tobias. He just moved here.  
~Tobias can't introduce himself?~  
^He's not from around here, he can't speek English.^  
~Only Kilingon.~  
Aysha- Oh,   
Rachel- Hi Aysha.   
Aysha- Hi. Hi Marco.  
~And how does she know you?~  
^I have no idea.^   
Marco- Hi.   
Tobias- It must be pretty cool, you know, living on a preserve.   
^Yeah, you get to clean up animal poop and get your clothes decorated in lovely poop patterens.^  
~Then you wake up to the lovely smell of poop on humid mornings. Yep, it's the life.~  
Aysha- Well, life is certainly never dull.  
^That's because you and "John" have screwed in the barn, in the feild, on the table and many other interesting places when Cassie wasn't home.^  
~Ewwwwww. ~  
(They walk into the barn. There are lots of animals in cages. ^FREE THE ANIMALS! CALL THE HAWK SWAT TEAM!^ Aysha puts the hawk on a stand)   
Aysha- There you go. Home sweet home.   
Tobias- Wow, he's beautiful.   
^::As TV Tobias:: Oh Hawk-y, you're so sexy!^  
~Can you say Rex Manning?~  
^Who?^  
~Nevermind.~  
Aysha- His mother was shot by a poacher. We hatched him and raised him.   
Marco- I bet he misses her.   
Tobias- He probably never even knew her.   
^If she died before he was born....^  
~THEN OF COURSE HE NEVER KNEW HER DORKUS!~  
^There it is again!^  
~What?~  
^DORKUS!^  
~You're quoteing me now.~  
^I know.^  
Aysha- That's right.  
~WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG!~  
^There was no point in that. ^  
(Jake walks in)   
~::Plays scary music::~  
Jake- Hi.   
Aysha- Hi Jake.   
Jake- Is Cassie around?   
^Jake, you're not Cassie's pimp anymore, LIVE WITH IT!^  
Aysha- You know, she's probably up at the house. I'll send her down.   
~::Singing:: I'm going down down baby....~  
^::Stops her singing, then starts his own song:: I'm going down, in a blaze of glory!^  
~::Grins:: Bon Jovi forever man.~  
(Aysha leaves the barn)   
Jake- Come here.   
(Rachel and Marco go to Jake. ^THREESOME!^ ~GROUP SEX! ::They Look at eachother::~ ~^Ewwwww.^~ Tobias stays with the hawk ^He and the hawk are having a tender moment.^)   
Jake- I just went by the-^The strip club and Cassie was there, then I....^   
~::Covers his mouth:: Childeren are reading this.~  
^Then they are going against the warning. ^  
(Aysha comes back suddenly)   
Aysha- You guys be careful. These animals are wild. I don't want to have to sew anything (something) back on.  
^::Crosses legs:: Owchies.^  
~Major ones.~  
(The kids smile, then Aysha leaves)   
Jake- I just went by the plant and its crawling with Controllers. And there were cops.  
~Eating donuts no less!~  
^Hevan forbid!^  
Rachel- But if there were cops,   
Marco- Duh.   
~::Draws BIG question marks over TV Marco's head::!   
^We know you're clueless man, deal.^  
~Marco got dissed, BY HIMSELF!~  
Rachel- The cops are Controllers too.  
~::Stares at the screen:: Ever the swift one aren't you, Brookie?~  
^Swift to figure out the obvious. ^  
Jake- At least some of them.   
Marco- What if they saw you?   
Jake- They didn't.   
^A foolish mistake on their part^  
(Tobias strokes the hawks chest, aquiring it by accident)   
^HE'S SEXUALLY MOLESTING THE HAWK!^  
~Sue him, Hawk-man, SUE!~  
Rachel- The police are Controllers, what else? Teachers? Government? Newspapers? TV?   
Marco- TV? (gasps) Not TV!   
~NOOOOO! NOT CABLE! THEY'LL TAKE OFF DARGON BALL Z!~  
^NOT DRAGON BALL Z!^ ~^::Scream::^~  
(Rachel and Jake smile)   
~AAHH! I'M BLIND!~  
^Help meeeeeee, help meeeeeee.^  
Jake- Tobias,   
~How do you call your loverboy?~  
Tobias(caught off guard)- What?   
~I said, how do you call your loverboy?~  
^HE WAS MASTURBATING!^  
~He was doing a PeeWee Herman!~  
^Huh?^  
~::Rolls eyes:: PeeWee Herman was caught masturbaiting in public.~  
^Oh. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!^  
Jake- That ^Metalica CD^ disk that Elfangor tried to give to you. Do you have any idea where you might have dropped it?   
Tobias- I didn't drop it. I never even touched it.   
^Getting defensive now ain't we?^  
~Yeah, he never touched that poor lost Metalica CD.~  
Jake- We gotta find it.   
(As Rachel speaks, the black horse clip-clops in ~Then "Clip-Clops" right back out.~)   
Rachel- With all these Controllers we can't just sneak back into the plant.   
^IT'S A CONSTRUCTION SITE!^  
Jake- No. But we can go back as animals.   
Marco- Shouldn't we wait for Cassie?   
~No.~  
Jake- Yeah, what's taking her so long anyway? I think we all need to be here for this.   
Rachel- She better not flake. ^She is a flake.^ ~JUST LIKE YOU!~ (The horse nudges her. She turns around) Hey!   
Cassie(thought-speak)- *Who you calling a flake?*  
^You? ^  
Rachel- Cassie?  
~NO! It's Frosty the Snowman.~  
^::Starts singing Frosty The Snowman::^   
Cassie- *Yup, it's me.*   
~YOU LIE, YOU'RE REALLY MR. ED! ADMIT IT!!~  
Rachel- It's amazing.   
^She's finally turned into Mr. Ed?^  
Jake- Man,   
^To be polictially correct, it's WOman, Jake.^  
~Hehe, Marco's a femminist.~  
Rachel- Really? (She laughs)   
~She's cracked, man.~  
^Only a day after she gets the power and she loses her mind, not like there's much to lose in the first place.^  
Marco(whispering)- Yo, she's lost it.   
^I AM NOT A "YO" KIND OF GUY! DEAL WITH IT, "AMIGO"!^  
~::Pats Marco's back:: It'll be okay, we'll get you the mental help you need.~  
Cassie- *No she hasn't. When I want you to hear me, I can direct the thought-speak to you.*   
(Cassie begins de-morphing)   
Jake- Yo Cassie, that's disgusting,  
~Even Jake's been corrupted by Boris's evil ways.~  
^::In Russian accent:: Hello Nitasha^  
~::In same Russian Accent:: Boris! Look! It's moose and squirral!~  
Rachel- Eww, gross,   
^Not as gross as you!^  
Marco- Oh man,   
Jake- Aww, Cassie that's gross.  
^Don't make me repeat myself! It's bad for my health!^  
~Now your the one making Gundam Wing referals.~  
Marco- I'm going to throw up,   
~Then do it and get it over with man!~  
(Marco bends over slightly. Cassie stands up, fully human.)   
Cassie- It's getting smoother.   
^Yep. That was about as smooth as chopped nuts. Whatever happened to Cassie being the "estreen" of the group?^  
~The "Morph Double" quit.~  
Rachel- That's smoother? That was harsh.  
^Now you're Cher from Clueless?^  
~Hey! Cher has more brain power then Brooke can ever HOPE to have.~  
Jake- We'll have to get used to that.   
~What?~  
^Used to Brooke's sheer styupidity?^  
Cassie- You guys, it was so awesome! I mean, I was a horse! I was powerful and fast,   
Tobias- Wow,   
^Another intellegent saying made by^  
~"Silent Tobais."~  
^Isn't it "Silent Bob"?^  
~Yeah, but Tobias hasn't said much.~  
^Good point.^  
Marco- Weren't you scared?   
Jake- I sure was,   
^CHICKEN!^  
Cassie- So was I at first, But I started to run and I forgot all about being scared.   
Jake- Okay. Who's next?   
Rachel- I'll go.   
^Shocking.^  
Marco- Oh, surprise surprise.   
(A cat jumps up on a beam and begins walking around. Rachel spots it)   
Rachel- Hey kitty,  
~::As Cat:: ROWR! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS! ::Scratches Brooke's face up::~  
^::As Brooke:: Such a nice and pretty kitty.^  
Cassie- Touch it.   
^NO!^  
(Rachel pets the cat, who begins purring)   
~It's offical, the cat is on drugs.~  
Rachel- Whoa, what was that?   
~Your brain?~  
Cassie- That's it. Now you've aquired the cat's DNA. Now concentrate, think about it. Think about being the cat, and you'll morph.   
(Rachel begins to morph)   
Rachel- Is it happening? I feel weird.   
^::Blinks:: You are weird.^  
(Soon, Rachel is fully morphed a cat)   
Jake- Rachel? Ra-Rachel?   
Tobias(smiling)- She's ignoring you.  
~::Drooling:: He may be dumb, but he has the sexiest smile out of all of them.~  
^::Scowling:: Traitor. ^  
Cassie- Of course, she's a cat.   
Jake- Rachel, are you okay?   
Rachel- *Mmm, don't bother me. I feel very, very cool.*   
~Or very very high.~  
^She's always high.^  
Cassie- Way to go Rach.   
Jake- All right. Marco, it's your turn. (Marco shakes his head) Come on man,   
^::As TV Marco:: Yo, I don't want to, amigo. I don't wanna do that morphing shit okay homie?^  
Marco- Look, I say we forget it. We don't mention it and we don't morph.   
Jake- Marco I halfway agree with you but-   
Marco- This isn't some dumb video game! We could get killed! You saw what happened to that Andalite, don't you get it? This is for real! You don't even know what reality is. Nothing bad has ever happened to you. You have this perfect family. Like I used to have.  
~::Blinks:: That's the most lines I've ever heard him say.~  
^It's amazing.^  
(Jake steps over to him and puts a hand on his shoulder)   
Jake- Marco, I know-   
(Marco throws Jake's hand off)   
Marco- Well go on, say it. You can say it. My mom's dead. And that's reality. You can all think what you want but if something bad happened to me, my dad would lose it!   
Cassie- No one's asking you to risk your life right now. I mean, learning how to morph might be the one thing that going to save your life.   
Jake- that's right. The Yeerks are our reality for us now. Your dad might freak if you weren't around, think he'd freak out more if you had a Yeerk in your brain.   
Rachel- *Come on Marco, it's okay. Really.*   
Marco- All right, all right. But I get to choose which animal.   
Cassie- Okay. As you can see we've got a wide selection from the animal kingdom. We have our medium sized mammals, and we have our cuter ones.   
^::Blinks:: How can Marco morph himself?^  
~You have a big head.~  
|But his brian's still the same size! Oh HEY! I'm Joe, from Digimon, one of Christina's other muses.|  
^Shut up Joe, I don't intrude when you do a MiST.^  
|I just wanted a Cameo.|  
^Now that you have it, SHOO!^  
|::leaves::|  
Marco- Why don't we start out small and work our way up? (Marco spots a rat running on a wheel in a cage) Maybe one of these. I always wanted a rat. Never thought I'd be one.  
~It's his true form!~  
^AHHH! ^  
(Cassie takes the rat out and hands it to Marco)   
Cassie-Marco, meet Bitsy. Bitsy, meet Marco. You know the drill, right?   
Jake- Touch and think about the rat.   
Cassie- It's aquired. Now concentrate.   
(Marco closes his eyes and begins morphing, but stops. Only his face has changed and only slightly)   
Marco- Ah! Make it stop! Am I a rat?   
Tobias- I'd say you were Rat Man.   
~^::Singing the VERY OLD Batman theme:: Rat Man! na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na RAT MAN na na na RAT MAN!^~  
(Marco changes back)   
Marco- I can't do it.   
^We know you can't get laid.^  
(Jake steps up to him, challengingly)   
Jake- I dare you.   
(Marco smiles)   
~::Covers eyes:: I'M BLIND!~  
Marco- Give me the stupid rat.   
Cassie- You don't need it, it's already aquired. Remember. Touch, aquire, concentrate and change.   
Marco- Yeah, yeah, yeah.   
(Marco tries again and succeeds, but Rachel start losing control of her morph)   
Jake- Rachel, no!   
Marco- *Rachel, it's me!*   
Cassie- Control Rachel, control the animal mind.   
Jake- Control! You can't eat Marco!  
^Yes she can. EAT THE RAT! ^  
~Kill him! Kill the evil TV spwan from hell!~  
Cassie- You guys, you have to control the animal brain.   
Rachel(jumps on a chair)- *Whoa, okay. I think I'm in control now.*   
Marco(jumps back into the rat cage)- *Run, run! Run, run!*   
^::In echo-y voice:: Run, Marco. Run.^  
~It doesn't work with a two syllible name.~  
^Yeah. Bummer.^  
Jake- Marco, are you in control?   
(Marco starts running on the exercise wheel)   
^Now it's time for Rats of Steel!^  
Cassie- Rachel, Marco, change back now.   
Rachel- *Okay, I'm coming back.* (Rachel morphs back to human) Whoa, that was wild.   
^Liar.^  
~Slut.~  
(Marco demorphs, breaking the rat cage in the process)   
Marco- Ow, oh man. Felt like I ate a couple of pounds of coffee.  
~::Slaps head:: You can't eat coffee nimrod.~  
^YEAH! You drink it. ^  
Rachel- It was like having two minds. One's animal and one's human. And they're fighting each other.   
Cassie- The human mind is stronger. We just have to learn how to focus.   
Jake- It's not easy.   
Rachel- No kidding. (turns to Marco) I just wanted to sink my teeth into your soft, furry rat neck.   
^SHE'S FLIRTING! WITH TOBIAS RIGHT THERE!^  
~YOU TWO-TIMING WHORE!~  
^Just just like Mr. Hat then.^  
~::Laughs::~  
Marco- That's what all the girls say.   
~Really?~  
^Really?^  
|REALLY?!|  
^GO AWAY JOE!^  
Cassie- We gotta be careful though, guys.   
Rachel- That's right. Elfangor said no more than two hours.   
^Of course, Tobias forgets that rule.^  
~No, he gets stuck in the yeerk pool.~  
^Oh yeah.^  
Jake- And we have to remember why we're doing this. To help us fight the Yeerks.   
Marco- Thanks for reminding me. Perrito.   
~Doesn't "perrito" mean dog?~  
^Yeah, it does. WHY DO YOU INSIST ON HAVING "ME" SPEAK SPANISH ALL THE BLOODY TIME!^  
(Marco gives Jake a slight shove. Jake shoves him back)   
Jake- You're welcome, Rat Man. All right. We've all done it.   
^You've all scored?^  
Rachel- Hold on. Tobias hasn't.   
^VIRGEN ALERT!^  
Jake- I forgot about Tobias. Sorry Tobias. (They turn to see that Tobias is gone) Tobias? Tobias! (They run outside) Tobias! hey, Tobias!   
^MWAHAHAHAHA!^  
~Tobias is the Invisible man!~  
^QUICKSILVER MADNESS!^  
Marco- This is totally uncool. What if he freaks and turns us all in?   
Rachel- He wouldn't do that.   
Marco- How do you know? We just met the guy last night. For all we know he could be working for the Yeerks right now!   
Jake- If he was he would have turned us in already.   
(Tobias is watching them from behind a tree)   
^::Whips out a Walkie talkey:: Yeah, and Marco's accent becomes more high-pitched when he's mad.^  
~Marco got disses, BY HIMSELF. AGAIN!~  
Marco- Where could he have gone?   
Cassie- Does anyone know where he lives?   
Rachel- He said he didn't have parents.   
~::Looks smug:: Told ya.~  
^Shut up.^  
Cassie- He's kind of a strange guy that's for sure.   
Marco- What if he went back for the disk without us?   
(They are all silent for a moment)   
Rachel- So, what do we do now?   
Marco- Yeah. What should we do oh Great Leader?   
(They all look to Jake)  
^::Both burst ionto laughter:: Jake? Leader?^  
~::Holding her sides, still laughing:: Not in this TV series. ~  
Jake- Since when am I the leader?   
Cassie- You just are.   
Jake- Well, I guess, uh, I guess we'll have to get Elfangor's disk back first.   
(They all have an unspoken agreement and walk away. Tobias leaves as well. That night, Rachel gives her little sister Sarah a necklace)   
Sarah- You're giving this to me?   
Rachel- Don't you want it?   
Sarah- I want it, but you said if I ever touched it again you'd kill me. How come you're giving it to me?   
~Doesn't she have two?~  
^Necklaces?^  
~No, sisters.~  
^Oh yeah, she does, doesn't she?^  
Rachel- I don't know, I guess because you're my little sister.   
(Rachel puts on her coat and starts to walk out   
Sarah- Where are you going?   
(Rachel turns around and gives Sarah a hug. Then she turns to leave again)   
Sarah- Rachel?   
Rachel- Yeah?   
Sarah- what's wrong with it?   
(Rachel smiles then leaves for good. ^YAY!^ ~Hoorah, hoorah!~ Sarah shrugs and puts the necklace on. Scene changes to Marco's house. He takes something out of the microwave and takes it to his dad, Jeremy, who is sitting on the couch)   
Marco- Come on Dad, try it.   
Jeremy- Oh, thanks buddy, but I'm really not that hungry.   
Marco- Aww, come on Dad, don't you want to grow up big and strong?   
^::Twitching:: THAT'S. NOT. MY. FATHER!^  
~It's okay! Marco, it's gonna be okay!~  
(Jeremy laughs and sits up)   
Jeremy- Okay. Well, look at this! I didn't know you knew how to cook.   
Marco- I can cook.   
(Jeremy takes a bite. There's a knock at the door)   
Marco- Be right back. (Marco opens the door. it's Jake) What's up?   
Jake- Let's go, we're suppossed to meet up in five minutes.   
Marco- Yeah, I know. Let me just grab my stuff. (Jake steps in) Um, you know what? Wait here, I'll be right there.   
(Jake nods at Jeremy)   
Jake- Hey Jeremy.   
~Not even your "father" likes him.~  
^Wow. Everyone must hate Jake.^  
(Jake closes the door and waits outside)   
Marco- I'll be back.   
Jeremy- Where you going?   
Marco- Me and the guys are doing kind of a scavenger hunt.   
Jeremy- Oh, that's too bad. They're showing the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers. ^::Laughes:: That was rich.^ ~One of the best lines in the show, considering that the yeerks control bodies and stuff.~ I'll tape it for you if you show me how to program this VCR.   
Marco- Hello? You're an engineer and you can't program a VCR? ~::Blinks:: Boris, you can't even get rid of the flashing twelve.~ (Jeremy shurgs. Marco laughs) You're so hopeless. I'll be back Pops.  
^POPS?!?!?^  
~Whoa! Marco cool it! ~  
(Marco stops and checks himself in the mirror)   
Jeremy- Don't worry buddy you're beautiful.   
~You're "dad" is hitting on you. ~  
^Eeewwwwwwwww.^  
(Marco smiles and leaves)   
Marco(to Jake)- Hey.   
(Back inside, Jeremy sits back on the couch with a depressed look. Scene changes to the plant. Cassie and Rachel watch construction workers filling holes. Chapman arrives)   
Chapman- Excuse me, but am I the only one who can see this Hork-Bajir footprint? Will somebody fill it before it makes the front page?   
(Marco and Jake run into Rachel and Cassie)   
Jake- Any sign of Tobias?   
Rachel- Nothing.   
Jake-Rachel, see if you can find that disk.   
Rachel- Okay.   
(She morphs the cat)   
Marco- It's not the sight so much as the sound that gets me.   
~^::Blinks and say:: Sound?^~  
Rachel- This is getting easier.   
Cassie- Wait, you look too good to be a stray.   
(Cassie takes a handful of dirt and rubs it into Rachel's fur.)   
~Hehehe.~  
Marco- Wait,   
(He spits into his hand and rubs Rachel)   
^EWWWWWWWWWWW!^  
~What?~  
^I had to say that, Rachel's not here.^  
~Oh.~  
Rachel- *Watch it Marco! Guys, leave me alone!*   
Marco- I was just trying to help.   
Rachel- *Yeah right.*   
(Rachel runs through the site to where Chapman is)   
Chapman- Let's speed it up. Visser Three wants this yard cleaned up tonight.   
(Rachel sees the disk near Champman's feet and runs back to the others)   
Rachel- *I found it. Chapman's pratically standing on it. We've gotta move fast.*   
^Wouldn't it be broken if he was standing on it?^  
Jake- Okay. I'll help Cassie with the paint. Marco, are you ready?   
Marco- Yeah,   
Jake- When I give the signal, go.   
(They split up)   
Rachel- *Good luck guys!*   
(Back to Chapman...)   
Chapman- I want everyone to look close to the ground. Search the entire area.   
(Off to one side, Marco sets up his stereo to play a recording of a sound of a spaceship landing)   
Chapman- Listen, what's that?   
Marco(lights up two flares)- Over here! Help! They're landing! Over here! Help! Help!   
^::Scowling:: Oh that's SO pathectic. ^  
~It's not a spaceship landing, it's an airplane. ~  
(The Controllers run towards the sound)   
Controller- I don't see a thing!   
(They hear another sound. They look over to see blue hooves)   
Chapman- Andalite! Follow it!   
(Rachel and Jake, in dog morph, go to where the disk is. Jake starts digging at the ground)   
^Cats have X-Ray vistion now?^  
~It was above ground before, right?~  
^Yeah,^  
~Good, so I'm not crazy.~  
^Yes you are, I'm just agreeing with you that it was on top before.^  
Rachel- *Hurry Jake! Hurry! Come on!*   
^EWWWWWWWWW! INSEST!^  
~GROSS!~  
Jake- *I hope this thing is worth it.*   
Rachel- *Dig Jake! Dig!*  
~Hey! Leave the Obi-Won quoting to us!~  
^YEAH! ^  
Chapman- I have to tell Visser Three.   
Rachel- *Hurry Jake! They're here!*   
(Chapman sees them)   
Capman- Andalite!   
Rachel- *Go Jake, go!*  
~::Whining:: She did it again!~  
^BITCH! ^  
Jake(picking up the disk in his mouth)- *I got it!*   
Rachel- *Hurry Jake! No! Not that way!*   
(They both run intoi a pipe...probably the same one Jake was in the night before. Both ends are blocked)   
^::laughs:: TWICE! HE DID THAT TWICE!^  
Jake- *We're trapped!*   
Chapman- Over here! I got two of them! I smell a promotion.   
^::Sniffs:: I smell Chinese food.^  
~::Is holding chop sticks, about to eat a dumpling:: What?~  
(Suddenly a hawk attacks Chapman. Jake and Rachel are able to run out)   
~TALLYHAWK!~  
^It was a SLIVERHAWK^ ~^::Both look at eachother and start to sing:: Wings of Sliver, nerves of steel. SILVERHAWKS! Partly metal, partly real..........^~  
Jake- *Let's go Rachel! Run!*   
Rachel- *That was too close!*   
Jake- *Keep running until we get to the woods. The Controllers are all over this place.*   
(We see the "Andalite" was Cassie in horse morph with the bottom half painted blue. She demorphs and begins to walk off but hides when some Controllers rush by her)   
~So, "Cassie" has the same has the same ability as "Jake".~  
^Interesting.^  
Controller- Come on guys, it's gotta be over here.   
(After they pass, Cassie runs away. Jake and Rachel are in the woods.)   
Jake- *I think we lost them.*   
(Jake and Rachel demorph as Marco joins them)   
Marco- You got it? You got the disk?   
(Jake shows him the disk as Cassie runs to them)   
Marco- We got it! We got the disk!   
Cassie- Yes, the Controllers are still back there waiting for the Andalite to land. It worked.   
Jake- That was great Cassie.   
(They hear a hawk)   
Cassie- Look.   
(A hawk lands on a fallen log ^Avenger!^ ~::As TV Jake:: Anvenger, get Jakeman coffee!~ and demorphs. It's Tobais)   
Tobias- Hi.   
Rachel- Tobias! You saved us?   
Cassie- We didn't know what happened to you.   
Jake(slaps Tobias' hand)- Thanks.  
~::Shocked:: HITTING THE SAME GUY THAT SAVED YOU!~  
^Ingrate!^  
Tobias- Hey, you'd do the same for me, right?   
Marco- We though you were a Controller.   
Rachel- Why did you dissapear? Why didn't you tell us you'd aquired the hawk?   
Tobias- I don't know.   
Rachel- We were all scared,   
Tobias- Yeah, but, I guess I was a bit scared that maybe I'd like it too much.   
Cassie- I know what you mean.   
Jake- Well, thanks. We would have been dead meat without you.   
Marco-Where's the disk?   
(Jake holds it out)   
Cassie- Wow,   
Tobias- Wierd,   
?Rachel- Think it works in a computer?   
Marco- Maybe it's a weapon.   
Cassie- We can try it in Jake's computer. We got to make sure nobody sees it.   
~::Blinks:: I dunno, it looks too small for a CD Rom.~  
Jake- Okay, I'll keep it overnight and we'll try it tomorrow. All right?   
Cassie- Mmm hmmm.   
~Cassie's thinking about Jake naked.~  
^::Singing "Hot Stuff":: ^  
Rachel- Yeah, sure.   
Marco- Cool. Well, I gotta go. Believe it or not, I got an algebra test tomorrow.   
~HA HA!~  
Cassie- Yeah, I got some homework as well.   
Rachel- And I've got a meet tomorrow.   
^::Blinks:: Another compition?^  
~She's an idiot.~  
(They begin walking home, but Jake stays behind for a second, watching the others)   
Marco- Hey, do the cat on the balance beam. You'll be sure to get a ten.   
Jake(smiling)- Cool.  
~Huh?~  
^What's "cool"? ^  
(Returns to a voice-over of Jake)   
Jake Voice Over- My name is Jake. I guess that doesn't matter anymore. Five normal ~Right, real normal, Jake-y boy.~ kids against an army of ruthless alien slugs. Those Yeerks don't know what they're in for.   
^Yes they do.^  
~Idiot kids with raging horomons~  
^With the power to morph IN THEIR CLOTHES!^  
~You're STILL upset about that?~  
^YES! VERY!^  



	3. Episode Three

The Underground  
MiSt By: Aquaian Goddess  
  
~WE ARE ALIVE!~  
  
^You never died, AG.^  
  
~Oh yeah. A new source for scripts, just waiting to be tapped and drained....uhh~  
  
^You scare me sometimes.^  
  
~Only sometimes?~   
  
^::Grumbles something obsene and continues:: Thought-speech with be represented with *s and all things in '~These~' are AG's comments, and the stuff in '^These^' is me, the muse Marco, from the Animorphs. THE BOOK SERIES!^  
  
~Warning: Some joke are VERY perverted or offensive.~   
  
^::Sighs:: The Animorphs TV show doesn't belong to AG^  
  
~::mutters:: Thank God.~  
  
^So don't sue us, we have nothing. We don't care if you hate the story, so all flames will be laughed at by us.^  
  
AG: You sound like Morla the Turtle from "the Neverending Story."  
  
Marco: Cool.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
MARCO Voice Over: ::walking down street:: My Name is Marco. ~^Hi Marco!^~ I'd give anything to be on the other side again, ^He joined the Dark Side of the force?^ just a normal kid in a regular world. ^Umm...you were never normal to begin with.^ ~Makes it hard to return to normailty, doesn't it?~ But then I remember that the world isn't regular anymore. And I remember that at any minute a controller could be sneaking up on me. About to shove a slimy slug in my ear.   
  
~Slugs are very scary compost makers, they are.~  
  
TOM: ::walking up to MARCO at JAKE'S house door:: Looking for Jake?   
  
^Yes, I'm looking for my lover, you moron! You think I'd be here to see you?!^  
  
~That's not what you said last night.~  
  
^::Blinks:: O.O^  
  
MARCO: Oh, hey Tom. Yeah, is he upstairs?   
  
~Rrrowr.~  
  
^Marco: Stop that.^  
  
~::laughs::~  
  
TOM: I don't know. Just got here.   
  
MARCO: ::nodding:: Right.   
  
~Of course we believe YOU.~  
  
TOM: ::Opens door for MARCO::   
  
~Such chivalry.~  
  
^I thought chivalry was dead.^  
  
MARCO: ::walks into JAKE'S room. ~KINKY!~ ^SHUT UP WITH THAT!^ EVERYBODY is there already. ~^Oh my.^~::   
  
TOBIAS: ::on JAKE'S bed with Homer::   
  
~So Tobias is sleeping with Homer?~  
  
^I thought interspeices relations were banned!^  
  
~Oh yeah, I spoke to Ax last night, Homer. He said stop cheating on him with his nephew.~  
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: I know, I did not do well.   
  
~Disembodied voice number 1!~  
  
^::as TV Tobias:: Got that right. Homer, you're the only one that can.^  
  
MARCO: Hey, Dude. We've got to stop meeting like this.   
  
^::twitches, then Screams and hides behind AG::^  
  
~Shhhh, it's okay Marco, don't let the ugly guy scare you.~   
  
RACHEL: ::turning around to face computer:: We always hung out before, it'd be a bigger bust if we suddenly stopped.   
  
~He didn't say STOP, Brookie, he said "like this" meaning, MEET SOMEWHERE ESLE!~   
  
CASSIE: I Agree.   
  
^No you don't, you wanna make out with Jake, don't lie.^  
  
MARCO: Yeah. By the way, your brother's here man.   
  
JAKE: That's why I have a door. ^::As TV Marco:: But he walked in on you and me last time.^ ~:AS TV JAKE: And on me and Cassie, I gotta get a lock.~ ::Taking out disk:: Okay, let's try this thing. ::hands disk to MARCO:: You're the computer wiz.   
  
~Nope, he's Cheese Whiz!~  
  
^Nacho flavored Cheese Whiz?^  
  
MARCO: ::takes disk:: Compared to you, maybe. ^So your saying you have no computer skills at all?^ ::puts disk in disk drive:: Alright, lets see what happens.   
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: it doesn't look like it will fit.   
  
^Disemboided voice number 2!^  
  
~Is Rachel talking about Tobias's MMMFT!~   
  
^::Is holding AG's mouth shut:: Shut up....you don't diss that part of a man's body like that!^  
  
JAKE: ::off camera:: What, you have a better idea?   
  
~Disemobodiesd voice number 3!~  
  
MARCO: ::clicks on mouse. Computer comes up with a blue screen blinking "Ready..." types some stuff on the keyboard. Computer screen comes up with "Unable to find the application that created this file..." and retry and cancel buttons.::   
  
~HA! You suck! It too small for the sketchy looking computer to read!~  
  
^Wait...that's a computer?^  
  
TOBIAS: ::off camera:: Try "Alt Escape X"   
  
~::sighs:: only in Canada.~  
  
^I thought it was Ctrl+Alt+Delete^  
  
MARCO: ::tries it, computer screen comes up with blinking "Open File" and blinking retry button. Screen goes black with system failure... in white letters. EVERYONE moans::   
  
~No comment.~  
  
^Ditto.^  
  
TOBIAS: ::off camera:: What's goin' on?   
  
~DISEMBODIED VOICES ARE EVERYWHERE!~  
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: What happened?   
  
^It's another disembodied voice. What is there a sale?!^  
  
MARCO: ::facing RACHEL:: It worked on "Independance Day"   
  
~That was a MOVIE! Live with it, you are not a movie actor,~  
  
^::Fat Bastard Voice:: YOU ARE CRAP!^  
  
JAKE: ::hitting MARCO:: They had Will Smith   
  
^ABUSE! GO ON RIKKI LAKE TV MARCO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT!^  
  
~Tratior.~  
  
^If You can do it, so can I!^  
  
TOM: ::opening door:: What're you guys doin'?   
  
RACHEL: Just Cracking up. Marco finally said something funny.   
  
~::Blinks:: He made a joke?~  
  
^We missed it.^  
  
MARCO: ::smiles and shrugs::   
  
~^::Covers eyes:: WE'RE BLIND!^~  
  
TOM: ::Nods and leaves::  
  
MARCO: ::gets up to close door and sees TOM putting his finger in his ear::  
  
^OH NO IT'S..^  
  
~ITCHY EAR ITUS!~  
  
~^::Scream::^~  
  
::Theme Song interupts here::  
  
~Commercial break.~  
  
~^::Are sitting down eating donuts and drinking coffee.^~  
  
^Frightening, isn't it?^  
  
~It's terrifying. Commercial break over.~  
  
^::Sobs::^  
  
::EVERYBODY walks out of house, with Homer, onto driveway::   
  
CASSIE: So, what's next?   
  
JAKE: I don't know. Any ideas?   
  
~OH! ME ME! I KNOW! I KNOW! SHUFFLEBOARD!~  
  
^::crickets chirp::^  
  
~What? WHAT?~  
  
::nobody answers::   
  
JAKE: ::nods:: Let's sleep on it, okay?   
  
^Especailly you and Nadia, right Shawn?^  
  
~He doesn't even spell it the COOL way, like Sean Connery.~  
  
^Yeah!^  
  
::EVERYBODY agrees and leaves, except MARCO::   
  
MARCO: ::picks up basketball and starts to dribble::   
  
~He needs a bib.~  
  
^Awww, wook at the wittle Marco trying to pretend he can play. HOW CUTE!^  
  
JAKE: ::steals ball:: Oh, he takes it away! ::shoots:: Scores!   
  
~It's sad when they start announcing their own games.~  
  
^Poor unfourtunate souls.^   
  
~^::Look at eachother and burst into song:: POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS! It's Sad, but true!^~  
  
TOM: ::comes out of house::  
  
~::Hears Scream, look to Marco::~  
  
^:: Shrugs:: It's not me.^  
  
~^::both turn to Duo. He's screaming like a girl::^~  
  
[HEERO! GET IT AWAY! I'M SCARED!]  
  
{ Weakling.}   
  
|Duo and Wufei, from Gundam Wing, ladies and gentalmen!|  
  
^Duo, Wufei, Joe, I don't intrude on you MiSTS, do I?^  
  
[No, I never did a MiST.]  
  
{ Same here!}   
  
|Me neither!|  
  
~You will, now shoo!~  
  
{ NATAKU! THEY DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE! ::Runs to his Gundam, sobbing::}   
  
[HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ::Imperisanting Relena::]  
  
|IZZY! You still love me, right?! ::runs off::|   
  
^::sighs:: You really need to do a MiST with them, it the second time Joe intruded, but the first that Wufei and Duo did.^  
  
~It'll be okay Marco...ON WITH THE MiST!~  
  
JAKE: ::to TOM:: Hey, Tom, ::passes ball to TOM:: ya' up for a quick game? Marco's no challenge anymore.   
  
~He never was, he's a migdet.~  
  
^HEY! I'm not a midget! I'm genetically short, there's a difference!^  
  
~Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.~  
  
TOM: I got somewhere to be.   
  
~Yeah, the strip club.~  
  
^He's going to watch Cassie?^  
  
JAKE: ::looks troubled:: Oh. Hey, do you think there's gonna be any college scouts there tonight? Going for a tripple, double or what?   
  
~::Looks Blank:: I hate sports talk.~  
  
^You would.^  
  
TOM: ::aiming ball with basket:: Nah. Team's history. ::ball goes in hoop, nothin' but net:: I'm going somewhere else.   
  
~Shock of all Shocks!~  
  
^HORROR OF HORRORS!^  
  
MARCO: Where?   
  
TOM: To a new club, The Sharing. Everybody's joining. ::walks down driveway::   
  
~::Plays Scary music::~  
  
JAKE: ::turns around:: Wait a second, you quit the basketball team?   
  
^Yeah, DUH! I'm a model, you know what I mean?^  
  
TOM: ::exasperated look. Turns around:: Jaaaaake, there's more to life than throwing a ball at a stupid hoop.   
  
^::As TV Jake:: There is?^  
  
JAKE: What? Basketball's like your whole life.   
  
~ I thought he just said that it wasn't....~  
  
TOM: ::shaking head:: ^Not so hard!^ ~The Yeerk'll pop out!~ Not anymore. Anyway, we do cooler things at The Sharing. And besides, the place is a magnet for girls. You guys should come. ::shakes head:: ^::As Tom:: I forgot, you don't like girls.^ I'll see you two clowns later. ::leaves::   
  
JAKE: ::looking down at ground, troubled:: He quit the team.   
  
~^DUH!^~  
  
MARCO: You know all that stuff about how anybody can be a controller?   
  
^::nods:: Maybe he HAS a brain after all.^  
  
JAKE: ::nodding:: Yeah. What are you saying?   
  
~You KNOW what he's saying Jake. Tom's a stripper now, live with it.~  
  
MARCO: ::doesn't answer::  
  
~Ahh, the weak, silent type, ne?~  
  
^::snickers::^   
  
JAKE: ::angry:: What are you saying?!   
  
~HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!~  
  
MARCO: I'm just saying that it's pretty weird that your all-star all-state Mr. Basketball brother would suddenly quit playing hoops.   
  
^Really? Is it now?^  
  
JAKE: Yeah? So?   
  
~He's being stuuuuupid.~  
  
^When ISN'T he being stupid?^  
  
~Good Point.~  
  
MARCO: So, maybe your Tom's not entirely under his own control.   
  
JAKE: ::angrily. Throws basketball at MARCO, who has walked down the driveway.:: They would never get to my brother!   
  
MARCO: What? ::throws ball back:: You think he's immune?   
  
^::Defencesively:: YEAH!^  
  
JAKE: He's too smart.   
  
~:Bursts into laughter::~  
  
MARCO: You just don't want to see it! Have you looked in his ear lately?   
  
~Yeah, all wax filled and ...ugh...~  
  
JAKE: ::walks angrily towards MARCO ^And trips.^:: Hey, if you're looking for somebody who's acting weird, why don't you start with your father?   
  
~Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.~  
  
^Low blow man....that was low.^  
  
MARCO: ::gives JAKE a dirty look and walks away::   
  
~Nice comeback.~   
  
^Really.^  
  
::cuts to tv screen, showing a black and white werewolf movie.::   
  
MARCO: ::walks in door::   
  
JEREMY: ::lying on couch, half asleep::   
  
MARCO: ::looks at JEREMY, shakes head and closes door::   
  
JEREMY: ::looks at MARCO:: Heeey, Marco   
  
~Heeeeey, he's trying to be The Fonze!~  
  
^No, he's stoned.^  
  
MARCO: ::accusingly:: Didn't you have a job interview today?   
  
JEREMY: ::soberly:: Yeah, I cancelled.   
  
MARCO: Oh ::walks away:: right ::hangs jaket over back of chair::   
  
~A man of many words, ain't he?~  
  
^He hasn't said anything in spanish yet. ::Pretends to faint::^  
  
JEREMY: Actually, I had something more important to do.   
  
MARCO: Like what?   
  
~YEAH! LIKE WHAT?~  
  
JEREMY: I went down to the cemetary, put some fresh flowers out for you mom.   
  
^OH! COOL! She's "dead" here too!^  
  
~Wow...shocking.~  
  
MARCO: ::closes eyes and sighs:: Oh. Well, there'll be other job interviews.   
  
~No there won't.~   
  
^Who would want a bum like him for an employee?^  
  
JEREMY: ::smiles half-heartedly. whispers:: Yeah.   
  
MARCO: Want me to call for a pizza?   
  
~How can they afford Pizza when they don't work?~  
  
^Spandexdom money?^  
  
~ONLY I'M ALLOWED THE HONOR OF GUNDAM WING REFERALS!~  
  
JEREMY: Yeah, that'd be great.   
  
::camera pans to picture of Marco, Jeremy and Marco's Mom, smiling and hugging::   
  
^THAT'S NOT MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!^  
  
~We know, it'll be okay Marco.~   
  
::cut to TOBIAS and RACHEL walking down street together::   
  
~::Singing:: Watch were you walk 'cause the sidewalks talk and you can't keep a secret from the ground benieth you.~  
  
^::shakes his head:: First Gundam Wing referals, now 80's music.^  
  
~As if you're any better!~  
  
RACHEL: ::to TOBIAS:: Thanks for walking with me.   
  
~^::both singing:: Like walking in the rain, and wishing on the stars above....^~  
  
TOBIAS: Sure.   
  
RACHEL: ::stops walking:: Um, where do you live, anyway?   
  
~SO I can come a rape you in the night.~  
  
^You are scary. You AND your cat ears!^  
  
~::Smiles:: Thanks!~  
  
TOBIAS: Down on Grove, with my aunt. Last year I used to live with this other uncle. I kind of get passed around.   
  
~Like an unwanted nephew.~  
  
RACHEL: That must be rough.   
  
TOBIAS: ::shrugging:: It's alright. ::pause:: I gotta get going. ::turns to walk away::  
  
^So soon?^   
  
RACHEL: ::tries to step in front of him:: You know, I saw a hawk flying over my house this morning.   
  
~INTERCEPTED!~  
  
^Now you're talking sports talk!^  
  
~Hockey isn't a sport and football's okay.~   
  
TOBIAS: ::looks down at the ground. Almost laughing ~'Cause the idea's just SO puposterous.~ ^OHH! BIG WORD!^:: What makes you think it was me?   
  
RACHEL: ::smiling:: Something about the way it flew.   
  
~^::covering face:: WE'RE BLIND!^~   
  
TOBIAS: Do you ever wish you could just...fly away?   
  
~^::singing;: I want to get away! I wanna fly away, Yeeeeeeeah yyyyyyyyyyyyyyeahhhhhhh!^~   
  
RACHEL: ::nodding:: Sometimes   
  
^Riiiight, that's why you're a druggie!^  
  
(::RACHEL and TOBIAS have been giving eachother this REALLY DISGUSTING lovey-dovey look since Tobias said "Do you ever wish you could just...fly away?"::)   
  
~::laughing:: I have to agree with Forlay when she says stuff like that.~  
  
^OH YEAH! We got this scrip from Forlay's Archive. Go here: http://geocities.com/Area51/Hollow/5374/transcript.html^  
  
SARA: ::holding up camera:: SMILE! Now you have a picture of your new boooy friend.   
  
~::Faints::~  
  
^::Catches her:: AG! WAKE UP AG! I CAN'T FINISH THIS WITH OUT YOU!^  
  
~::opens eyes::Marco..::eye water:: I didn't know you cared....::hugs him::~  
  
^Yeah yeah....let's finish this.^   
  
RACHEL: Sara!   
  
SARA: ::giggles and runs inside house::   
  
~Brat.~  
  
::RACHEL and TOBIAS look at ground and laugh::  
  
^Wench.^   
  
::cut to crowded school hallway::   
  
~SCENE CHANGE!~  
  
^Don't look!^   
  
MARCO: ::walks down hall. Sees CHAPMAN, turns around::   
  
^Smaaaaaaaaaaaaart. Really!^  
  
CHAPMAN: Hold it right there, Marco.   
  
MARCO ::stops:: Yes, Mr. Chapman.   
  
CHAPMAN:You know, it always bothers me when the grades of one of our best students begin to drop.   
  
~^::Burst into laughter.::^~  
  
MARCO: Well, if I-I find that student, I'll tell him you said so. ::turns to leave::  
  
~::Snirks::~  
  
CHAPMAN: Levity (??) won't get you out of this. Maybe what you need are some friends that will be a better influence. ::sees lizard on floor. Tries to stomp on it. Lizard gets away:: Disgusting creatures. ::leaves::   
^::sighs:: Lizards......... Spiderman.....Spiderman....^  
  
~::Blinks and turns to the readers:: Be afraid, be very afraid.~   
  
MARCO: ::leaves for class::   
  
CHAPMAN: ::stops to look at a banner for The Sharing being hung up in the hall::  
  
~::plays scary music::~   
  
MARCO: ::walks into classroom where JAKE is waiting. ^Ohhhhh!^ ~Marco? How do you call your loverboy?~ ^::laughs::^ Sets books down on lab table where JAKE and a terariam is sitting::   
  
JAKE: I didn't think you'd show.  
  
~Awww, they're gonna screw now aren't they?~  
  
^Ummm, no?^   
  
MARCO: ::reaches into terariam:: Oh, what are you, kidding? I live for science lab make-ups, bro ::takes lizard out of terariam::  
  
^It's happening!^  
  
~RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!~  
  
JAKE: Hey, careful. I dropped one earlier, I can't find it.   
  
MARCO: ::smiling:: Yeah, I know. I saw it in the hall earlier. Chapman almost stepped on it.   
  
JAKE: ::smiles::   
  
~^ We're melting, we're melting! Oh what a world, what a world!^~  
  
MARCO: Listen, about what happened yesterday-   
  
JAKE: I'll forget it, if you will.   
  
MARCO: I mean, we're dealing with some serious stuff here. It's a little more drastic than finding a zit. We were bound to go ballistic sooner or later, you know?   
  
~::shudders:: Zits are bad.~  
  
JAKE: I'm sorry.   
  
^For your zit problems.^  
  
MARCO: Me too, man.   
  
::both do some secret handshake-type thing::   
  
^Now we know that they are Yeerks. Jake and I don't DO that.^  
  
~As if you didn't have one when you were little!~  
  
^Yeah, but girls still had cooties back then!^  
  
CHAPMAN: ::overheard from hall:: Blackmire! (??) Over here.   
  
::JAKE and MARCO get up and quietly go towards door::   
  
~Again, being obvious while trying to hide....someone teach these guys a lesson in stealth.~  
  
CHAPMAN: ::to a little red headed boy:: Have you had any success in locating the Andalites?   
  
^::Coughs::Yeerks::coughs::Obviously::coughs::Not::coughs::Very::coughs::Smart::hacks and wheezes::^  
  
~Got another hair ball?~  
  
^Listen Miss Cat Ears, I don't get hair balls, you do!^  
  
BLACKMIRE: Not yet, but we're still looking.   
  
CHAPMAN: That's unacceptable.   
  
~Yeah! The ceral killers must be brought to justice!~  
  
BLACKMIRE: We know they're using human morphs. Approximatly the same age as my host body.   
  
^Can you guys be a little more obvious? The Lunchlady hasn't heard you yet.^  
  
CHAPMAN: Just find them.   
  
~Find the bastards that took all the marshmellows out of my Lucky Charms!~  
  
^No! They didn't steal the heart, stars and horseshoes!^  
  
~They got the clovers and blue moons, too!!~  
  
^The pots of gold and rainbows?^  
  
~::nods::~  
  
^And the red ballons?^  
  
~^::singing:: That's our Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious!^~  
  
BLACKMIRE: Yes, sir.   
  
CHAPMAN: Now, go stand watch while I check the entrance to the pool.   
  
~Sure, you KNOW there are Andalite in the school and you just BLAB that information out into the open....reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally smart man.~  
  
::JAKE and MARCO look down at lizard still in MARCO'S hand. MARCO begins to acquire it.::  
  
::JAKE and MARCO run out from under door into crowded hallway as lizards::   
  
JAKE: *Chapman went that way.*   
  
MARCO: *Jake, I can't see very well.*   
  
JAKE: *Weird, I can't see colors.*   
  
MARCO: *Whoa! My tongue! It can smell things!*  
  
^MY TOUNGE CAN'T DO THAT! NO FAIR!^  
  
~It's good for other things!~  
  
^::smirks:: After the MiSt babe.^  
  
~::purrs::~   
  
JAKE: *It's between classes!*   
  
MARCO: *So. Scared. Run. Hide!*  
  
^Must. Talk. Like. This!^   
  
JAKE: *Get a grip!*   
  
~Wasn't that an Aerosmith CD?~  
  
*First Matalica, now Aerosmith! What;s next Christina Agulara?!^  
  
~^::both shudder::^~  
  
MARCO: *Get a grip? Get a grip! Man, this skink is one nervous animal.*  
  
~Skink?~  
  
^Wha?^   
  
CHAPMAN: ::unlocks the janitor's closet. walks in.::  
  
~Inconspicuous is his middle name.~   
  
::JAKE and MARCO run under door::   
  
JAKE: *Watch out. *  
  
^Suck in that tummy, come on, you can fit!^   
  
CHAPMAN: Is everything ready for tonight?   
  
TOM: ::turns around:: Everything's arranged.   
  
^::plays scary music::^  
  
CHAPMAN: Show me.   
  
TOM: ~::nods turns faucet to the left, turns soap dish a quarter turn to the left. Wall slides open, revealing entrance to the Yeerk Pool.::   
  
~No! They found my collocetion of Male slaves!~  
  
^I thought you kept that in your room.^  
  
~No, those are the dead bodies of people who piss me off.~  
  
^Ahhhh.^  
  
JAKE: *Tom! No!*   
  
^I hate to say it but....^  
  
~^We told you so!^~  
  
MARCO: *Jake! I'm sorry, man.*  
  
~No, it's my fault Ponyboy ran away!~  
  
^Reading "The Outsiders" again?^  
  
~Yep! ^_^~   
  
CHAPMAN: Very impressive. But it's been three days, regeneration must begin tonight at sundown.   
  
TOM: I need the kandrona nutrients. ::looks ~longingly~ at entrance:: How many new hosts will be there?   
  
^Yeah, he's hungry!^  
  
CHAPMAN: 50 new members from The Sharing. ::pause:: but your brother is not among them. Why?   
  
^Why do you care?^  
  
TOM: ::nods:: Jake has a very strong will. He may be a problem for us. If he doesn't cooperate, we may have to...correct the problem.   
  
~KILL HIM!~  
  
CHAPMAN: ~looks over at shelf where JAKE and MARCO are listening.~   
  
TOM: ~looks where CHAPMAN is looking~ Sir?   
  
CHAPMAN: ::walks towards shelf:: What do we have here? ::picks up MARCO::   
  
^::as Tv Tom:: It's one of King Godzilla's spies, General!^  
  
  
MARCO: *Jake! Help!*   
  
JAKE: *Stay Calm. Just stay calm!*  
  
~Morphing suit: 20 dollers. Replacing shoes: 15 dollers. Jake's words of advice? Worthless.~   
  
CHAPMAN: ::holds MARCO in front of his and TOM'S face:: Nasty little creature.   
  
~Don't talk about you fellow Yeerk that way.~  
  
MARCO: *Jake! Help!*   
  
CHAPMAN: Disgusting thing.   
  
JAKE: *Stay calm. Just stay calm!*  
  
~He's being redundant!~  
  
^Good Gog not again.^  
  
~Good Gog? Oh from the Terrance books!~  
  
  
MARCO: *Jake! Help me!*   
  
JAKE: Marco, be cool!   
  
~He said something different!~  
  
^Shocking!^  
  
CHAPMAN: ::drops MARCO. MARCO and JAKE run out of closet under door. CHAPMAN looks at TOM and leaves::   
  
TOM: ::troubled look::   
  
~He's wondering why his lover is mad at him.~  
  
^I don't wanna know.^  
  
::cut to CHAPMAN walking down hall,looking for MARCO and JAKE ^Come out, come out where ever you are!^, MARCO and JAKE demorph inside lockers::   
  
MARCO: Next time, we use a phone booth, dude. ~^::Laughing::^~ ::quietly, walking away.:: Don't worry man, we're gonna help your brother.   
  
::cut to group walking through a field (Cassie's preserve) at night::   
  
CASSIE: ::walking next to JAKE:: Jake, I'm really sorry about your brother.   
  
JAKE: I'm gonna set him free no matter what it takes. And when we do, I'm gonna take that yeerk inside of his head and squash it like a bug.   
  
~Now that's brotherly love, don't it make you wanna wretch?~  
  
TOBIAS: At least now we know that the yeerks need some sort of a booster treatment every three days.   
  
^Like your artificial brains?^  
  
~And skin?~  
  
RACHEL: And we know a way into this pool. Whatever that is.   
  
MARCO: Yeah, you'd think that Elfangor would've given us an instruction manual, or somethin'   
  
RACHEL: You mean before or after he went toe to toe with Visser Three?   
  
^Andalites don't have toes! They have hoofs!^  
  
~A Zebra's hoof is it's toe.~  
  
^Oh. But they're Andalites.^  
  
~No, they are demented furby's on crack.~  
  
TOBIAS: Well, maybe that's what the disk is for!   
  
^Maybe it's a bunch of dirty pictures of female Andalites?^  
  
~PlayAndalite?~  
  
MARCO: We need an instruction manual for that too!   
  
::group approaches large, imposing, metal fence, with a door::   
  
CASSIE: This is where my mom works. With all of the exotic animals.   
  
MARCO: Exotic? Like rare chickens or somethin'?   
  
^Like you?^  
  
JAKE: ::to MARCO. The two of them are standing by themselves:: Hey, listen. If we're going to fight the yeerks, I think we're going to need something a little more dangerous than a rat, a cat, and a dog.   
  
~He forgot hawks.~  
  
::both look over fence::   
  
MARCO: How dangerous is dangerous, dude?   
  
^You might loose an eye, no big deal though.^  
  
JAKE: This looks tricky, I'll give you a boost. ::bends over and puts hands out for MARCO to step in::   
  
MARCO: Why do I have to go first???   
  
JAKE: Because you're small. I can get you up there.   
  
MARCO: You're the leader, why don't you go first?   
  
JAKE: Okay, you boost me.   
  
MARCO: ::looking up wall:: Man, that's barbed wire, bar boso (or somethin' like that, I don't know spanish)   
  
^NOOOOO! WILL SOME ONE SHUT THIS CHATTERING MONKEY UP?!^  
  
~I'd cut him, but I don't have a knife.~  
  
^Ha. Ha. Ha. Surf Ninja referal. Very nice.^  
  
::both continue to look over wall::   
  
~Wall's pretty tonight.~  
  
^Yeah.^  
  
CASSIE: ~holds keys up~ You guys almost finished? ~CASSIE, RACHEL and TOBIAS are smiling on the other side of the fence~   
  
MARCO: My bad, dude ::do the secret handshake-thing from the science lab::  
  
^We have a secert handshake too!^  
  
~^::The the TV Show characters the middle finger::^~   
  
::cut to MARCO closing something that looks like a garage door::   
  
JAKE: ::off camera:: Wow!   
  
~::Off screen:: Ooooh!~  
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: Whoa!   
  
^::off screen:: Ahhhh!^  
  
JAKE: ::off camera:: Look at that!   
  
~He closed the garage! COOL!~  
  
MARCO: They've all been fed, right, Cas? ::walks over to group standing in front of white tiger's cage::  
  
^Then the tiger breaks loose and eats them all.^  
  
~YAY!~   
  
RACHEL: ::off camera, camera is zooming on tiger:: What is it?   
  
~An intelligant life form.~  
  
^And on this show too, amazing!^  
  
CASSIE: ::off camera:: It's a white, bengal tiger. Now, watch his eyes. If they dialate, just back away very, very slowly. ::opens cage door::   
  
^::Tiger jumps out and eats them all::^  
  
JAKE: ::walks in::  
  
~Eat him! Eat him!~  
  
^::singing:: Don't make us repeat it! Eat them all up, they are too dumb, to know that this show is so gonna bomb!^  
  
MARCO: Slowly?   
  
CASSIE: ::off camera:: Remeber, all you have to do is touch it to acquire it's DNA.   
  
~::singing:: When I think about you I touch myself, ooohh, I don't want, any other morph, with I think abut it I touch myself!~  
  
^::blinks:: 80's songs are in today huh?^  
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: Just make a fuffer sound.   
  
^Fuffer?^  
  
JAKE: ::tiger turns head and snarls at JAKE:: A what?   
  
~::as tiger:: That stupid sound that pisses me off to no end!~  
  
CASSIE: Fuffer. Like this, vvvvh, vvvvh. ::MARCO, TOBIAS and RACHEL look at her like she's crazy. ^SHE IS!^ CASSIE shrugs:: They say it calms him down.   
  
~What she forgot to mention was that the tiger ate everybody who used it!~  
  
JAKE: Yeah,sure.   
  
CASSIE: ::off camera:: Easy, Jake. Slowly   
  
^::bursts into laughter::^  
  
~What? I don't see what's so......OH! You sick bastard!~  
  
^::laughs even louder::^  
  
JAKE: Vvvvh. Vvvvh. ::smiles at tiger:: Hey, buddy. ~::glares:: Go away.~ ::almost to the tiger:: Vvvvh. Vvvh.   
  
CASSIE: Remember, when you acquire it's DNA, it'll go into a trance.   
  
MARCO: How about that moment before the trance when it rips his arm off? ::smirks::   
  
^That's a me comment.^  
  
JAKE: ::leans forward and puts hand out to acquire tiger:: This one's for you, Tom.   
  
~I'm sure he's deeply moved by your geusture, Jake.~  
  
CASSIE: ~smiles when JAKE finishes acquiring. Whispers.~ Yes.   
  
~::Whispers:: No.~  
  
^::singing:: I don't want to be, your sex object. You play your tricks, they're just perfect!^  
  
~Listening to my music again?~  
  
^Yeah, I like that Ballad of Co-Ed song.^  
  
RACHEL: Cool.   
  
^Yeah. its a very cool song.^  
  
CASSIE: Okay, Rach, you're next.   
  
::cut to RACHEL standing in cage with a male lion::  
  
^::Twitching:: We had a bad experiance with lions......HOW DARE SHE?! EVIL BITCH! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! ::Attacks TV screen and falls down. Gets up and sits next to AG, she give him a band-aid::^  
  
RACHEL: I've got it. Rachel the lion hearted ::walks to door of cage::  
  
MARCO: Yeah? Well, Marco the chicken hearted says lets go before we become lunch.   
  
JAKE: Good idea. ~To become lunch?~ ::everyone turns to leave. CASSIE closes and locks cage door::   
  
::cut to everybody walking out of the compound::   
  
MARCO: ::he and JAKE are ahead of everybody else:: Hey,Jake, don't take this the wrong but, um, ^I love Cassie.^ should you leave Elfangor's disk in your room?   
  
JAKE: You're right, but I already thought of that. ::pats coat pocket:: From now on, It goes where I go.   
  
^::singing:: I go where he won't go.^  
  
~Shut up.~   
  
MARCO: Cool. We're gonna help your brother, bro, I promise. ::MARCO walks ahead::   
  
::everybody else walks up to, and ahead of JAKE, RACHEL stays by him::   
  
RACHEL: ::sighs:: You think we'll pass as human controllers?   
  
JAKE: We'll find out tonight.   
  
::cut to school hallways filling up with controllers. MARCO and JAKE poke head out from behind a door way and quickly join the crowd. CASSIE, RACHEL and TOBIAS follow. JAKE, MARCO, CASSIE, and TOBIAS look freaked out. RACHEL is the only one who fits in with the controller crowd. When MARCO and JAKE reach doorway to the yeerk pool, they hesitate.::   
  
MARCO: Go on, Go On! ::JAKE goes down first, followed by MARCO::  
  
^Off they go, walking to their Doom.^  
  
~Who's up for a game of cards?~   
  
::cut to the yeerk pool. Lots of screams and shots of a red pool. Close up of VISSER THREE::   
  
~^|{ [::Scream::]} |^~  
  
VISSER THREE: *Move Faster! We have many hosts to regenerate tonight! I will be in my chambers, notify me when it is done.*   
  
CONTROLLER 1: ::off camera:: Yes, Visser Three!   
  
~Huh?~  
  
^What?^  
  
~Controller 1? Couldn't they call him Bob? Or Phil?~  
  
^::Sighs:: No.^  
  
~I nameth thee, Controller 1, BOB!~  
  
^::blinks:: Oh Dear Lord.^  
  
CASSIE: ::seperated from the others and is put in a second line::   
  
CONTROLLER 1 ~HIS NAME IS BOB!~ : ::grabs MARCO:: You! Stay in the regeneration line!   
  
^MAN HANDELING!^  
  
::camera pans over the pool. We see controllers leaning over to let yeerks out of their heads. A Yeerk dropping into the pool, free people being dragged to cages, people in cages, a Hork-Bajir head, an entire Hork-Bajir, the Animorphs in the regeneration line::  
  
~The happiest place on Earth Ladies and gents.~  
  
RACHEL: Jake, look. ::camera cuts to TOM at the regeneration line:: Tom.   
  
~^::Play scary music::^~  
  
::JAKE, RACHEL, TOBIAS and MARCO watch in horror as TOM leans over the pool::   
  
TOM: ::yeerk drops out of his head. Grabbed by two controllers:: No, Let go of me! You can't put that thing back in me!   
  
^::starts to laugh::^  
  
~::grabs his neck:: Not. One. Word. Marco.~  
  
CONTROLLER 2: ::looks at JAKE, RACHEL, TOBIAS, and MARCO:: Get in line   
~I nameth thee, Controller 2, JOE!~  
  
^Joe?^  
  
~Yeah. It's fast and easy.~  
  
^Like you?^  
  
~Not on your life, Marco.~  
  
  
TOBIAS: ::steps forward:: We report directly to Visser Three. Get out of our way.   
  
~Don't you love it when he get's all commanding like that? Really it just DOES something to me.~  
  
^Really? It makes ME wonder how he got so "comanding" all of a sudden.^  
  
CONTROLLER 2: ::looks them over. Nods,backs away.::  
  
^He's not really that intimidating.^  
  
~He's more intimidating then the demented furby on crack.~  
  
TOBIAS: ::leads group away from the line::   
  
MARCO: ((Says some stuff I can't understand. Too much background noise.))  
  
~::dully:: Ahhhh. It's an anime dub. Ahhhh.~  
  
^::dully:: Ahhhhh. It's an anime dub. Ahhhhh.^  
  
::cut to CASSIE still in the regeneration line::   
  
TOBIAS: ::leads everybody to an out of the way place::  
  
^I thought Jake was the leader.^  
  
~Keyword. WAS.~  
  
JAKE: We've got to do something.   
  
CASSIE: ::steps up to next in line::   
  
JAKE: There's Cassie.   
  
~And Super Jake states the obvious yet again!~  
  
^::monotone:: Yay.^  
  
CASSIE: ::bends down like she's a controller::  
  
~You mean she's not? Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!~   
  
JAKE: ::off camera:: What is she doing?   
  
~::Singing and doing the dance:: And we can do it doggie style so we can both watch X-Files! Do it now! You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Chanel!~  
  
^::singing:: I played my part, left you in the dark.....^  
  
~::blinks:: Shut up.~  
  
^What's wrong with the Backstreet Boys?^  
  
~Not them, I'm just sick of that song at the moment.~  
  
RACHEL: ::off camera:: I don't know!   
  
~She's being deciving. Duh!~  
  
::Everybody watches CASSIE in anticipation::   
  
CONTROLLER 3: ::walks up to CASSIE:: Is something wrong?   
  
~I nameth thee, Controller 3, JOE BOB!~  
  
^That was unexpected.^  
  
JAKE: C'mon, let's distract him.   
  
RACHEL: Do it. Quick. ::JAKE and RACHEL go right, MARCO and TOBIAS go left::   
  
^::Laughs::^  
  
~Sick.~  
  
CASSIE: ::still on knees in front of pool:: I'm having a hard time getting out of her ear.   
  
TOBIAS: ::morphing hawk::   
  
CONTROLLER 3 ~Joe Bob.~ : Turn your head.   
  
  
CASSIE: ::grabs a stone, puts it near her ear and turns head:: I'm almost free. ::drops stone in pool. Controllers come forward to take her to cages:: NOOOOO!!! You can't put that thing back in my ear! Let go of me! ::pushes one controller away::   
  
~::Jaw hanging open:: That was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious it wasn't a yeerk. Oh my God they're all retards.~  
  
^Don't insult retards like that, they're smarter tham THESE people.^  
  
~True, true.~   
  
RACHEL: ::comes out of a cave in lion morph. Roars and pushes a controller into the pool::   
  
CASSIE: ::pushes other controller holding on to her into pool::  
  
~What?! No Choclate? DIE!~  
  
TOBIAS: ::in hawk morph:: *Rachel! You have Visser Three to your right and two Hork-Bajir behind you!*   
  
~NOOO! DON'T HELP HER! SHE'S AN ENEMY!~  
  
RACHEL: *Thanks, Tobias.*  
  
~NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!~  
  
^::laughs::^  
  
~::Chains him in the Bath tub and drags the MiST in there::~  
  
^That was useless.^  
  
~Yeah, but now you can't watch TV with have ME turn it on!~  
  
^NOOO!^   
  
VISSER THREE: *What is going on out there?!*  
  
^What do you think? Bondage in the first degree!^   
  
MARCO: ::sneaks behind CONTROLLER THREE ~Joe Bob~ and pulls a switch that releases the people from their cage. Freed controllers stampede out and run over a Hork-Bajir::  
  
^~STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!~^   
  
VISSER THREE: *Stop them you fools!*   
  
^~::As Controlers, drinking tea::~^  
  
^ We don't want to.^  
  
~We are over worked an under paid.~  
  
~^WE ARE UNION WORKERS MAN!^~  
  
RACHEL: ::demorphed, runs out and joins the crowd::   
  
JAKE: ::running with CASSIE in the crowd. Leaves CASSIE, goes behind a rock and morphs tiger.::   
  
  
  
CHAPMAN: The door controller!   
  
  
CONTROLLER 3~^Joe Bob.^~: ::pulls switch to close door::   
  
RACHEL: ::running through door as it closes:: Cassie! Hurry up!   
  
~And Super Rachel does it again. She gives away ANOTHER member's I dentity.~   
  
CASSIE: ::just gets through door as it closes::   
  
CHAPMAN: ::walking towards group of current and recaptured controllers, TOM'S among them:: Where'd they go? Did anyone see their faces?   
  
JAKE: ::demorphed, sprints for the door::   
  
~Don't be a fool! You can't leave!~  
  
^GET HIM! GET HIM!^  
  
CHAPMAN: ::points to JAKE:: Hey you! Stop right there!   
  
JAKE: ::keeps running up stairs with CHAPMAN close behind. Reaches door, starts pulling on it to try and get it open (even though it's a sliding door) morphs lizard and crawls out before CHAPMAN sees him.::  
  
^::laughing:: He's trying to open a sliding door by pulling on it.^   
  
CHAPMAN: ::to VISSER THREE:: We did our best!   
  
~^We have no regrets.^~  
  
~Been playing my pokemon games?~  
  
^Shamlessly, yes!^  
  
VISSER THREE: *You have failed once again.*  
  
~YOU FOOLS!~   
  
CHAPMAN: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!   
  
~^::Laughsing:: BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!^~  
  
::cut to JAKE, CASSIE, RACHEL and MARCO running down "Gillan court". Stop after they turn the corner. MARCO stops first.::   
  
~But we already knwo they are in Canada...just send the yeerks there!~  
  
JAKE: ::Turning back to MARCO:: You okay?   
  
MARCO: ::nods::  
  
~NOOO! JOE! BOB! JOE BOB!~  
  
^Oh my god! They killed Joe Bob!^  
~YOU BASTARDS!~   
  
MARCO VO: Yeah, I'd give anything to be just a regular kid again. But, no, now I have to change my shape more often than I change my underwear. But when I saw Jake's brother and the others trapped, taken over, controlled, I knew I was one of the lucky ones.   
  
~But you don't have a brain to control.~  
  
^And with that, they all died. YAY!^  
  
RACHEL: ::breathing heavily:: That was wild!   
  
~^No Comment^~  
  
CASSIE: I'm just glad we're all okay.   
  
JAKE: Tom's not.   
  
~He never was,~  
  
CASSIE: There'll be another time, Jake. We'll get him back, okay?   
  
MARCO: ::walking forward to join the group.:: Tobias, you did it again. ::points to hawk on street sign:: If it wasn't for Tobias, I'd be road kill. Thanks, Tobias.   
  
~TOBIAS DIDN'T SAVE YOU! HE SAVED HIS LOVER!~  
  
^Chill!^   
  
RACHEL: Tobias?   
  
JAKE: Thats, not him.   
  
^~::play scary music::~^  
  
MARCO: What? You mean I've been talking to a bird the whole time? ::hawk flies away::   
  
RACHEL: No. You don't think... Tobias?!   
  
JAKE: Rachel, I'm sure he made it out. ::looks at RACHEL and CASSIE, both have very serious looks on. There not so sure. Looks in direction the hawk flew:: Tobias?!   
  
CASSIE: Tobias!   
  
RACHEL: Tobias!!   
  
MARCO: Tobias!   
  
::everybody starts walking back the way they came, calling out for TOBIAS::  
  
~BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!~  
  
^You're SCREWED!^ 


	4. Episode Four

On The Run: The Fourth Episode of AniTV  
MiST By: Aquaian Goddess Featuring AquattaFGJ@aol.com  
  
~HEY!~  
^I'm sick and Jake has been my slave sence I got sick, so he'll be joining us.^  
`The Comments in these are me, Jake.`  
~Two more people will be join us for this, Say hi to the folks, Aquatta and Ax.~  
  
#I'm Aquatta! Here's my own muse, the one and only Aximili-Esgarouth-Isthill, but just Ax is fine.#  
@*What's going on?*@  
#You'll see! ::grins evilly:: And back to you Christina!#  
  
~You didn't tell him?~  
  
#::sighs:: you explain MiSTing to an Andalite#  
  
^The ripping into of something stupid, thus making fun of it. Get it Ax?^  
  
@::blinks:: *I believe so, but I have a very little sense of humor, as you so often state Marco.*@  
#Ax, just go along with it for now...who knows, you might say a few funny things...#  
  
~Okay, the Stuff in #These# is Aquatta and the stuff in @*These*@ is The Ax-Man. okay. Got it.~  
  
#The ~'s are AG, ^='s Marco and ` are Jake's#  
  
`yep! You're so smart!`  
~Wanna do the honors of the disclaimer? Aquatta?~  
  
#::grins and bows:: is you were being sarcastic Jake, just remember payback's a bitch and revenge is a mother-#  
@::Ax cuts in:: *ANYWAYS! We don't own Animorphs so back off, as I've heard Aquatta say...*@  
  
^Nice save Ax-Man.^  
~On with the MiST! TALLYHO!~  
  
@*If you insist*@  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
On The Run  
  
MARCO: ::looking at a "Roller Mania" ~^`::Dully::Ooooohh! Wow.`^~ internet site at an internet cafe. "Cyberia":: ~What is this Cyberia thing anyway! I WANT ONE!~  
`Sorry, can't have one, America's too cheap.`  
#Me too! Ax! Build us a Cyberia!#  
@::blinks:: *Why me?*@  
#:::shrugs:: I dunno, you're the alien,#  
  
JAKE: ::walks into cafe with Homer. Sits down next to MARCO:: How's it goin'?   
`THAT'S NOT MY DOG!`  
#Oh, Rachel had me fooled I guess.....#  
^Jake! Calm down! I know the feeling.^  
  
MARCO: ::not looking up from computer screen.:: Not bad! It's afternoon and I haven't been chased by anything with eight arms yet. ::looks at JAKE:: But the day's still young.   
~::Sings:: The Day is young and your so beautiful Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake-y!~  
@*Okay.......I'm lost.*@  
`Marco, TV-You is trying to hit on me.`  
^::nods:: Well, he should have seen you in that french Maid get up you were in before, ohh, foxy Jake!^  
~Aquatta, help! Horomonal teens!~  
@::morphs human::@  
#Uh oh....do I have to beat you three with a stick?#  
@No.@  
  
JAKE: Mmm-hmmm. `Yes Marco, you are a sexy bitch, I must screw your brains out now.` #::mumbles:: friggin hentai-crazed yaoi men...# ^::Dramatic sniffle:: Jake, I never knew you felt tha way.^ `It was sarcasim, Marco, you're a bad infeluence on me.` @::laughs::@::pause. looks at MARCO:: Has anybody heard from Tobias?   
#Yeah, TSEEEEEEW!!!!! TSEEEEEWWWW!!! ::Ax glares at her:: What?!#  
  
MARCO: ::looks concerned:: I don't know, I haven't. ~You mean he's screwed you and he left you?! RAGE!~ `You've been sleeping with Tobias behind my back?!` ~::Blinks:: Leave it for Jerry Springer, kids.~ #@Here here#@ He's probably chillin' with Rachel, dude.   
^SHUT UP! I DON'T TALK THAT WAY DAMNIT! JUST SHUT UP! ::Sobs into Jake's shoulder.::^  
`Shhh, it's okay. It's all gonna be fine.`  
~Aw... how touching, isn't it Aquatta?~  
#Awww, yes, very,#  
@::sniffling, wiping away a few tears::@  
#Ax, don't you start now.#  
  
JAKE: I hope so. What are you doing, anyways?   
~He's looking at dirty pictures on the internet. duh~  
^Squared.^  
`Cubed.`  
~^::Look at Jake:: You ruined it.^~  
@Ruined what?@  
# ::grins:: Jake a baka, ne?#  
@::laughs::@  
  
MARCO: I'm trying to have a Yeerk free day. @Oh come off it, we all know that's an impossibility....@ `Sing it loud sister...` ^Halelujah!^ ::points at computer screen:: Checkin' out some new wheels for my blades, dude. Did you know the cores of the new five-thousand series are made of nylon?   
~::blinks:: Marco....... if I ever you hear you talk like your TV show personality, I will beat you with a ten foot pole, got it?~  
#::Snickers, as Marco:: promise? lol!#  
@::blinks and sits down hard in shock::@  
~What's the matter Ax? Never hear Aquatta talk dirty to you guys before?~  
@::shakes head.....then stops and nods furiously::@  
`HEY! No kinky stuff with Marco!`  
^Have you read our last three MiSTs?^  
`::Nods:: Almost got a nosebled by the last one. DAMN MARCO! How come you never talk to ME that way?!`  
~I think now's a good time to say, that some jokes you might find extremely offencesive and perverted. 'Cause we are ecchi like that, right Aquatta?~   
#::grinning:: need I answer that? you saw my last comment...#  
@::runs out of the room his hand to his face::@  
#::blinks:: no way,#  
  
JAKE: It's not nylon, it's fiberglass.   
~My cast was fiberglass when I broke my arm.~  
`You broke your arm?`  
~::nods:: It HURT!~  
#::rubbing her ankle:: know the feeling....::sees Ax walking back in, a paper towel held to his nose:: You okay?#  
@Yup, okay,@  
MARCO: ::shakes head:: No, nylon.   
`No, fiberglass.`  
  
JAKE: Trust me, it's fiberglass.   
^Nylon!^  
`Fiberglass.`  
^NYLON!^  
#IT'S PLASTIC FOR GODS SAKE!#  
~BOYS! STOP IT!~  
^`Yes Ma'am.`^  
#@::doesn't chance saying anything#@  
MARCO: Ny-lon.   
~We went through this!~  
@SHUT UP! WHO GIVES A DAMN!@  
#::stares at Ax::#  
~`^::Gasp::^`~  
@::blushes and falls into silence, but suddenly starts giggling::@  
#Jake, Marco, this is your fault,#  
~I bet they are proud, aren't you boys?~  
`^::Nods, grining::^`  
JAKE: Fiberglass   
^LIAR! It's NYLON!^  
  
MARCO: I'm looking at it right now, Jake. Look, It's nylon.   
`No. FIBERGLASS!`  
~You both relize that is the enemy you are agreeing with, right?~  
`^::Look at eachother:: She's right, I hate it when she's right.^`  
#::dissolves into laughter:: you guys got DISSED! LOL!#  
@Not too hard of a task though is it ::slaps hand to his mouth as Aquatta glares:: I'll shut up....@  
^::Makes a sound like a whip cracking::^  
`Whoa, Ax-Man, you're taking that...OW! ::Has been thwaped by the Frying pan of Justice.::`  
@Ha ha!@  
~::Singing:: She's a dominatrix super model beauty queen!~  
`^NO O-TOWN!^`  
@NO O-TOWN!@  
#Shut up all of you! ::they all stare:: you're giving me a headache....#  
~`^Sorry.^`~  
#No biggie...#  
@::pats her head::@  
  
JAKE VO: ::MARCO and JAKE continue to argue, almost silently, on screen:: My name is Jake.   
~^`@#Hi Jake!#@`^~And that's Marco, the one winning the argument. He's my best friend, really. ~No he's not, don't lie.~ @TO LIE IS WEAK! INJUSTICE!@ And this is how it used to be. Y'know, hanging out together, arguing over dumb things.   
@::snickers:: or who wears the pantyhose that day@   
~::Singing, again:: So happy together! I can't see me loving no body but you..~  
`^MY GOLDEN GRAHMS!^`  
~Okay, I wasn't thinking along those therms but whatever floats your boat.~  
#@LOL#@  
  
MARCO VO: Yeah, for a minute there, it was like old times. The only thing we cared about was skateboarding and video games. You know, stuff.   
~Schtuff?~   
^What kind of...stuff?^   
`You know, girls, sex, food, sports, girls, sex, girls, girls, girls, girls......::Shakes his head:: and umm what color cheese tases like.`  
^I still say it tastes green.^  
@Tastes red to me,@  
#Jake, Marco, face it, your thought's aren't on girl's, they're in each other's pants.#  
`^::Blush:: Oh my!^`  
^She found us out.^  
`::sighs:: We tried so hard too.`  
#Oh you did not...every other night I hear you two ecchi's in the closet! I doubt it was only Joe and Izzy stealing the whipped cream!#  
@Aquatta!@  
|LEAVE US OUT OF THIS!|  
#BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!#  
~::Laughs and give Aquatta a high five.::~  
#::grins and high fives back:: I'm not bad at this stuff,#  
@::Ax runs out holding his nose again::@  
~::Snickers evilly::~  
  
JAKE VO: But nothing's the same anymore. `Wait, I'm not a blonde, number one! And second of all, Marco's not THAT stupid and c)...` ~You just noticed that?~ ^::Shrugs:: Yeahs not that big of an oaf, he's a lot smarter too!^ `Marco, you're so kind.` And we were about to be reminded of that in a big way.   
::everybody in the cafe starts to complain of computer problems. All the screens, including JAKE and MARCO'S go to static and say "You have e-mail from ANDALITE loading..."::  
~ Ax has an email addy? Kinda obvious Ax-Man..~   
@::yelling from a bathroom:: All the good email names were taken!@  
  
JAKE ::JAKE and MARCO look at eachother. Reading from screen.:: We have what you want. `::Hopful:: Cassie naked in a three some with Marco?` @::Ax had just been walking in, but then turned back to the bathroom....can be heard throwing up::@ #Guess a naked Cassie was too much for him# ~Are you sure it wasn't the thought of MARCO naked?~ ::picture of Elfangor's disk `::pouts:: oh man! Not what I wanted.` ~MATELICA CD! IT'S A MATELICA CD!~ comes up on screen. JAKE looks at MARCO:: No way.   
^Yes way!^  
  
  
MARCO: ::reading screen:: Yours for a price...one Andalite for the disk.   
^Okay Ax, go get it.^  
`Yeah, go on Ax.`  
~Ax is suffering from peer pressure now?   
@::Back from being sick, glares at them:: Bukate baka neka,@  
#::giggles:: Ax,#   
^In ENGLISH BUDDY!^   
`What did you call us?!`  
@::Grins:: I'm not tellin ya, bukat ecchi,@  
^Meanie!^  
`::Sticks his tounge out at him::`  
  
JAKE: ::reaches in coat pocket:: Oh man.   
  
MARCO: What?   
`I lost my condem!`  
  
JAKE: I lost the disk.   
^::shrugs:: Close enough.^  
::Theme song comes in here.::  
~GUYS! SAVE YOURSELVES FROM THE BAD MUSIC!~  
^We're not leaving you.^  
`Yeah, you still own us that whipped cream!`  
~O_O I do?~  
#::raises an eyebrow at the boys:: If you guys keep that up Joe and Izzy will come running in....maybe even Duo and Heero but I don't know if whipped cream is their thing...#  
~Fuzzy handcuffs are... I saw 'em!~  
@::snickers::@  
# O.O#  
  
JAKE: There's nothing to worry about. Everyone got the same message. It's like a broadcast.   
~Sooo.... what's THAT supposed to mean?! It's called a blind carbon copy you know!~  
^You are my technological supirior. I bow to thee.::Bows::^  
`::Slaps Marco's bum for the hell of it.::`  
^HEY!^  
#::snickers and high fives AG::#  
MARCO: Fine, it's a broadcast. Keep it down.   
~::Giggles:: Guys, you're disturbing the scary-lookin' actors.~  
@Well they scared us first! WEAKLINGS! YOU WOMEN!@  
#::grins:: oh Ax I never knew you had it in you,#  
@::blushes:: O.O@  
~::laughs::~  
  
JAKE: Send an e-mail.   
^Do you know how?^  
MARCO: What?   
`I'll take that as a no.`  
JAKE: We'll send them an e-mail. Tell them we lost the disk last night at the school so they'll know we're for real.   
`^::Glance at eachother, then start singing:: I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson!^`  
~Whoo!~  
`^I am for REAL! Never ment to make your daughter cry, how was I to know I go for guys?^`  
@What are they doing?@  
#::holding her ears:: Obviously trying to make me go deaf.#  
~Damn right!~  
#::wrinkles her nose::#  
  
MARCO: Whoa, cowboy. ~::Giggles:: "Cowboy"? ::Looks at Jake:: So THAT'S what you two've been doing!~ @::holds a paper towel to his nose and shakes his head:: Must rid myself of those images....@ You want to contact them?   
^Duh! This IS Rosewell!^  
#Alien invasion!#  
`Oh I am what I am, I'll do what I want.`  
JAKE: We got to get the disk back.   
^Yeah, if you play it backwards, there's a message from SATAN!^  
#::blinks:: Oh dear lord....#  
  
MARCO: Why waste time with e-mails? Why not just walk up and say 'Please put a yeerk in my ear.'   
#Only you'd be that stupid,#  
~Why would someone want a compst maker in their ear?~  
^It's a new fad.^  
JAKE: They think we're roaming Andalites. We're fine.   
`Yep, 'cause we all know Andalites are SOOO Sexy. ::nods;: Yep.`  
@::singing, actually good:: I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car by far, ::realizes everyone is staring...Aquatta has fainted:: What?@  
MARCO: If they think we're Andalites, then why are they trying to get to us through computer messages?   
^Because they're stuuupid.^  
JAKE: They probably think we're trying to blend in as humans.   
~I don't think and Andalite would degrade himself by doing such a thing!~  
@Yeah! ::realizes he's in human form, blushes and sits::@  
MARCO: Yeah, well they want to trade an Andalite for the disk. Where are you going to get an Andalite?   
`~^Andalites "R" Us?^~`  
JAKE: We don't need an Andalite. We can fake 'em out. We can get the disk and be out of there before they even know we were there. Right, Homer? ::Homer barks::   
~Homer is obviously the better actor here.~  
^Yes he/she/it is.^  
`That dog's a girl, mine's a boy... I SEE SOMETHING WRONG HERE! Unless that dog goes for girls, 'cause then..`  
^Jake, shut up before you hurt yourself.^  
@Yeah, chill out dude...@  
~::Slaps Ax:: ARE YOU A VALLEY BOY?! NO?! THEN DON'T SAY DUDE!~  
^Queen of the Bitch slap ladies and gents....^  
@What? ::points to tv:: those assholes say it all the time!@  
#AXIMILI! ::passes out::#  
~THEY AREN'T ROLE MODELS! Aquatta and myself are.~  
^`::Burst into laughter.::`^  
@::is staring down at the unconscious Aquatta::@  
MARCO: No, fake out is not the way to go. This definetly screams for blitz and run. ^::Stares in horror::^ ::realizes what he just said:: What am I talking about? Forget it! This was supposed to be a yeerk free day.   
~Marco, babe, you KNOW that's not even THINKABLE! You can't live without your radio-active compost makers and you know it.~  
  
JAKE: ::looks back at computer screen, it still says "One Andalite for the disk"::  
^Oh, symbolism.... I think.^  
`I don't think. I know.`  
~I don't think you boys know either!~  
#::laughs and high fives::#  
  
::in the background a school bell rings. Camera cuts to RACHEL and CASSIE walking out of a gymnasium, RACHEL in sweats. Looks like it's just after gymnastics practice, or the end of the school day.::   
~^`AHHH! SCENE CHANGE! AHHHH!`^~  
@The Evil Spawn of Satan!!!!!@  
#::blinks:: not what you said after you were sick Ax,#  
@::blushes:: Why whatever do you mean?@  
^Yeah,. what DO you mean Aquatta?^  
#Well, Ax had been quite attached to Cassie ever since that disease,#  
@::mumbles:: Shut up....@  
^~`Oh.`~^  
RACHEL: ::putting earings in and walking down stairs:: Hey, Cas!   
^She's hitting on Cassie, Jake.^  
`Let her. I know another VERY goodlooking person.`  
~I didn't know you felt that way about me.~  
`I wasn't talking about you.`  
~::Looks crest-fallen:: oh....~  
CASSIE: ::turns around:: Hey!  
~YEAH! Cassie doesn't want ou to diss me like that Jake!~   
`It wasn't an intentional diss.`  
RACHEL: Have you seen Tobias?   
CASSIE: Not since last night.   
~::Giggles:: What girls? He was late for your threesome again?~  
#Ai! Echi AG!#  
@Hey Cassie's mine!@  
#::gasps:: But yo said you liked me! ::crosses arms, gets up and sits far away:: you hurt my feelings....#  
@::sweatdrops::@  
RACHEL: ::sighs:: Where is he?!   
^Having sex with Homer, we discussed this!^  
CASSIE: I don't know.   
^Up your ass maybe?^  
~That's mean, Marco.~  
`He knows it too!`  
MELLISA: See ya', Rach.   
~^`::plays scary music.::`^~  
RACHEL ::looks up:: Hey, Mellisa. Um, you wanna walk home with us?   
~Umm, isn't she with Tom?~  
MELLISA: I'm not going home.`'Cause she's a little runaway!` ~BON JOVI!~ I'm going to The Sharing.   
^Insert scary music here.^  
@::blinks:: Bon Jovi?@  
#::plays scary music over Ax's words::#  
@HEY!@  
#::gives Death Glare:: Bukate baka ne,#  
CASSIE: You go to that?   
~Yes, everyone who's ANYONE goes there!~  
MELLISA: Yeah. My dad makes me. Hey, you guys wanna go?   
^SURE! Where are we going again?^  
CASSIE: No, thanks.   
`You just wanna screw my cousin, Cass.`  
~::Stares in Horror, than claps.:: The first step on the road to recovry is admiting your ex-girlfriend has a problem.~  
MELLISA: Oh, no! It'll be great! Go with me so I won't have to hang out alone. ::camera cuts to RACHEL and CASSIE looking unsure.:: Please?   
~Yet another fine example of Peer Pressure.~  
RACHEL: Sure.   
^Hmph. I didn't know Rachel was so weak.^  
`Marco, it's bad enough that Ax and Aquatta are making Gundam Wing referals, you don't need to start.`  
#@WEALKING! INJUSTICE! YOU WEAK WOMAN!@#  
^So it's okay for you to do it then?^  
`::looks shamed::`   
CASSIE: No, thanks. ::looks at RACHEL::   
~Notice how she's been repeating herself alot.~  
`Hanging out with TV-Me too much.`  
RACHEL: It couldn't hurt to go to one meeting and see what it's all about. Who knows, maybe we can learn something. ::looks back up to MELLISA:: Sure.   
~Yes Rachel, be so obvious, make it alittle more obvious so that the LUNCH LADY catches on!~  
MELLISA: ::grinning:: Great! I'll meet you outside. ::leaves::   
^Basket case.^  
~::Singing:: Do you have the time, to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those, mellow dramtic fools, neuroutic to the bone no doubt about it!~  
~^`::singing:: Sometimes I give myself the creeps! Sometimes my mine plays tricks on me! It all keeps adding up, I think I'm cracking up, or am I just Paranoid, or am I stoned!`^~   
@::while they sing, he sneaks over to and starts singing "Breakfast at Tiffany's" in a weak attempt to make up with Aquatta::@  
#::still looks extremely upset:: Not working Blue Boy#  
CASSIE: ::whispering:: Are you crazy?!   
~::nods:: Damn right we are!~  
@YEAH! ::pokes Aqiatta playfully, she shoves him away...he stands and goes back to where he was sitting::@  
RACHEL: Look, we know The Sharing is connected to the yeerks somehow. If something's happened to Tobias it's the best place to start looking.   
`But who cares about Tobias?`  
::cut to MARCO and JAKE still at the cafe::  
~Yet another scene change.~  
^I think there's a sale on them.^  
`::picks up a Dilbert cartoon:: Dilbert's brave in cyberspace. I didn't know that.`  
~GIVE ME BACK MY DILBERT!~  
MARCO: Maybe we should forget about the disk.   
~I CAN'T! All my stories are on that disk!~  
^`::looking at eachother:: DON'T FIND THE DISK! LEAVE IT BE!`^  
#::smacks the two guys:: Hey! I like AG's stories, okay?!#  
JAKE: We can't, it's important. It's gotta be.   
`It's just a bunch of Andalite porn!`  
@::rolls eyes:: everyone knew Elfangor was a hentai freak at heart.@  
~::nods:: Yes we did. Now Ax can enjoy it.~  
MARCO: But what if it's not? ^Not Andalite porn? I feel so cheated.^ It could be a video game for all we know.   
^Really, then find away boys.^  
TOM: Is that all you think about? Video Games?   
`^YEP!^`  
JAKE: ::MARCO and JAKE look up. Startled.::  
`Oh Tom, it's you. We thought it was the girls. You know how germ-riddled they are.`  
^Jake, lay off the Dilbert.^   
TOM: I thought I saw you guys here. What're you doing?   
~You saw your arse in the mirror, that's way you walked over.~  
MARCO: ::JAKE and MARCO look at eachother. MARCO quickly clicks the mouse and closes the computer screen with the yeerk message on it.:: Just chillin', man. How 'bout you, Tom. How ya' doin'?   
^::in a tacky Brooklyn accent:: How YOU doin'?^  
`::in the same accent as Marco:: How YOU doin?`  
~::Shrugs:: I'm fine.~  
TOM: ::shrugs:: I'm fine.   
`Oh that was eerie.`  
^Yeah.^  
#::shudders:: just plain evil if you ask me.#  
@Want me to protect you?@  
#::plainly ignores him::#  
@ :-( I can't do anything now can I?@  
JAKE: Uh, you wanna hang out? Play some games?   
^Yeah, like spin the bottle, maybe?^  
#::snickers::#  
TOM: Nah. I've got better things to do.   
`Wait... that's supposed to be Tom? They're JOKING!`  
~The whole show's a big joke.~  
JAKE: ::nods::   
^See! Tv-You aggrees Jake!^  
TOM: ::looks down:: What are you doing with the dog in here? C'mon boy, let's go. ::leaves with Homer following::   
~I thought Dog's were allowed in there.~  
#They let Rachel and Cassie in didn't they?#  
~AQUATTA! That's mean. Even if they DO deserve it.~  
^Uhhh, AG, that's why we are MiSTing this thing, to be very mean!^  
#::snickers evilly::#  
@She IS mean, she won't even forgive me!@  
MARCO: ::looking at JAKE once TOM is gone:: We gotta be more careful, man. He coulda heard somethin'.   
`We can't let Tom know we're homosexuals. Then the Yeerks AND the KKK will be after us.`  
~::Sighs:: Dudes, you are gonna get me seriously hurt.~  
JAKE: ::looks after TOM::  
^Oh Tom, you're just so sexy, I don't care if you're my brother!^  
~::Blinks:: Don't hit on the brother of your boyfriend. It's considered bad manners.~  
`Thank you Martha Stewart.`  
#@::snickers evilly::@#  
MARCO: ::looks back and forth between JAKE and where JAKE'S looking:: Look, what they did to him last night...it was awful.   
^Bondage is a scary thing.^  
JAKE: What if what's on that disk could help Tom and we're just gonna let them have it. ::starts typing out a reply to the yeerk's e-mail. "Meet me at the mall in one hour"::   
~Didn't they close that?~  
MARCO: What're you doing?   
`Responding to fan mail.`  
^Oh.^  
JAKE: Something I shoulda done in the first place.   
`Kill yourself maybe?`  
MARCO: Jake, uh, let's not go nuts here, dude.   
`::blinks:: You mean we were normal to begin with, dude? THAT'S SCHWAY!`  
~No more Batman Beyond for you and Marco, Jake.~  
JAKE: ::sends the e-mail::   
^What an amazing action sequence!^  
MARCO: ::stares at the screen:: What did you do?!   
`Sentanced us to death, no biggie.`  
^Oh. okay. that's cool bro.^  
JAKE: I sent an e-mail.   
~Then the computer blows up and they all die. The end.~  
`^YAY!^`  
#::claps:: Best ending I ever heard!#  
MARCO: ::accusingly:: Saying what?   
`That we are gay and the yeerks are all homophobic compost makers.`  
JAKE: We're gonna meet them here at the mall in an hour.   
`I was close enough.`  
^You did good, Jake. Real good.^  
MARCO: ::looks a little scared. Stares at JAKE like he's an idiot::   
~You mean he's NOT?!~  
JAKE: ::looking at MARCO:: I want that disk back.   
^He wants a subscription to PlayAndalite too!^  
MARCO: ::looks around cafe. Whispering:: Bro, you're insane!   
@That's not new news to us,@  
`::nods:: Yeah, to bad I'm not your brother.`  
::cut to a party-like setting. Looks like it's at a community center or something, or a REALLY big house.::  
^It's a RAVE! ::starts playing 80's music::^  
`::singing:: Everyone up, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur!`  
~That was in the super mario brother's movie!~  
RACHEL: ::sitting on a couch next to `her lover` MELLISA, eating ~commuion wafers~ cookies and drinking ^Spiked^ punch:: So, this is a Sharing meeting.   
  
MELLISA: We do some pretty cool stuff, actually. Last week we had a beach party. And we're planning a skiing trip this winter. But today's just a regular meeting.   
^Wow. Kinda makes me wonder what beifits I get, being an Animorph and all.^  
`You get to sleep with the leader.`  
^Fair enough.^  
#::blinks:: wait a minute, if Marco's in the Sharing, and he gets to sleep with the leader, does anyone have a clue what that means?#  
@Does anyone care? ::slaps mouth realizing he;s trying to MAKE UP with Aquatta not get her more angry::@  
#I didn't ask you Aximili-Esgarouth-Isthill...#  
~Uh oh,~  
^She used his full name.^  
`She's REALLY pissed!`  
#Damn straight!#  
@I said I was sorry....@  
#::sighs, looks to the guys for advice(as strange as it sounds) then decides she;s better off with AG::#  
~Let him beg for awhile, then forgive him.~  
CASSIE: ::lounging in a nearby chair, eating cookies::   
~NOO! We NEEDED those commuion wafers!~  
::RACHEL and CASSIE notice an open door across the room. A few people are heading in.::   
~^`::singing:: The love shack, is a little ol' place where, we can get together!`^~  
CASSIE: ::pointing to room:: Uh, what's in there?   
~An orgy.~  
^Oh. I WANNA GO!^  
#You would,#  
@Echi....Aquatta, please forgive me?@  
#No.#  
`OH FORGIVE HIM ALREADY! I'm getting a headache from his whining!`  
^There there, lover mine.^  
@::grumbles, morphs back to Andalite and puts his tailblade to Jake's neck:: *Listen, I don't say anything about you and lover boy here whining or anything so shut uo, you hear?* ::morphs back and sits down::@  
#::blinks:: angry much?#  
~He wants you to screw him. Duh! He's already going into withdrawl.~  
#@SHUT UP YOU HENTAI FREAK! ::they blush and look away::@#  
#AG that was low,#  
@She was kidding@  
#I know, gomen ne AG#  
~Forgiven.~  
#Arigato#  
MELLISA: Oh, that's for people higher up in The Sharing. Kinda like an exclusive club. Not many of us get invited in there.   
`They get cool swastica tatoos too.`  
~::Slaps Jake:: Shut up you.~  
CASSIE: ::nods::   
^She wants a tatoo too!^  
RACHEL: ::getting up:: I'll be right back.   
~I gotta pee.~  
@Oh we all know she's trying to find a way in there to screw Tom.@  
#INCEST!#  
CASSIE: ::looks after her:: Uh, wait, where're you going? ::RACHEL doesn't answer. CASSIE looks at MELLISA and shrugs::  
`::As TV Cassie:: My girlfriend just walked away, I feel so lonely. Mellisa, hold me.`  
::cut to RACHEL walking into an empty bathroom::   
^AG called it. She has to pee.^  
RACHEL: ::looks in stalls to make sure they're all empty. Walks in one, closes the door. Starts to concentrate, morphs fly.:: Whoa! This is weird! Why do I see upside down? ::somebody walks in and swats at her:: #@KILL HER! KILLLLL HEERRRRR!!!!!@# Hey!   
`^::Stare, annoyed at the screen::^`  
~It's the same eyesight for the lizards, the Hork Bajir, AND the fly?! Damn they needed some Eyecandy.~  
::cut to MARCO walking down mall hallway::   
~ARG! MORE scene changes! I hate them!~  
^We fear scene changes.^  
#WEAK SCENE CHANGES! UNJUSTICE! I WILL KILL YOU!#  
@::blinks:: First Wufei then Heero...what next? Duo?@  
#::grins:: I am the Goddess of Death!#  
@::sweatdrops::@  
MARCO: I can't believe I let you talk me into this.   
`I thought you loved me Marco.`  
~All boys use that to get what they want, don't they?~  
`I'm one of the few who don't use those words lightly.`  
@::snickers::@  
JAKE: It'll be a piece of cake.   
^Oh no. It's a Jake's-brilliant-idea-that's-not-gonna-work thing huh?^  
`Yep. Looks like that.`  
@Most definately.@  
MARCO: ::walks into 'PJ's Pet Centre':: Thanks, Jake.  
I'm supposed to take a lizards word for it. #Of course! You and lizards   
are   
on the same intelligence level!# @She shoots she scores!@ #::glares::   
No   
sports talk Aximili.# @Gomen ne,@ ::walks towards the back of the   
store. Puts JAKE in iguana  
morph into a tank:: Be right back. ::walks away::  
~Instead of stealing it, he puts it back. MORON!~  
JAKE: Hurry up.   
`I wanna have time to screw your brains out in the  
bathroom!`  
::cut to RACHEL in fly morph hanging on a wall,  
listening to the secret meeting of The Sharing::   
~My head hurts from all this scenery changing.~  
@::holding head:: Make it stop!@  
#Stop the insanity! ::looks at Jake, Marco, AG and Ax:: nevermind, #  
CONTROLLER 1 (male) ~Bobby-Joe.~: And as of this  
morning, the school entrance to the pool has been  
sealed off. If the Andalites try to use it again,  
it'll be as if it was never there. Construction of a  
new pool entrance is now under way. It should be  
completed soon.   
CONTROLLER 2 (female)~Beverly.~ ^Beverly?^: It had  
better be. `Four` Scores of us are at risk. If it's  
not done in the next three days, large numbers of us  
will perish from lack of Kandrona Rays. @I thought it was lack of   
scoring....@ #That was Jake's input Ax, don't twist it around in yuor   
sick   
head# @You made me the hentai muse@ Alright, on to  
other business. A plan is underway to capture the  
intruders from last night. Once we have them ::looks  
at fly on the table:: We'll squash them like bugs.   
#@YAY! RACHEL'S DEAD!@#  
#Let the joyous news be spread, the wicked old bitch at last is dead!#  
@Ding dong the bitch is dead! Which old bitch? the wicked bitch!@  
`I'm shaking like a leaf. They're gonna come after me  
with their flash lights of doom. Personally, I'm more  
scared of Phil, the Prince Of Insufficant Light.`  
~HEY! Keep away from my dilbert stuff!~  
::cut to MARCO at the mall, walking up to a mall cop::  
~RAGE! NO MORE SCENE CHANGES! THEY ARE BAD FOR MY  
HEALTH!~  
#WEAK WOMEN SCENE CUTS! INJUSTICE!#  
@I will kill you!@  
#Hey! Only I can use Heero lines!#  
MARCO: Uh, excuse me, sir? ::shakes cop's hand:: You  
know, I gotta tell ya', you guys are doin' a bang up  
job. Just a super job, really. ::starts to acquire  
him:: Keep up the good work! We need more mall cops.  
#SUCK UP!#  
^::Jaw drops:: That's the most stupidest thing I've  
ever heard. Tv-me is a dork!^  
@Not too much different from the real you.@  
^HEY!^  
MALL COP ^Billy-Joe-Bob-Brain^ ~HEY! Only I can name  
the extras!~ `I wanna name one!`: Riiiiight.   
@He's thinking about screwing Marco....@  
#EWWWWWW!!!!!#  
MARCO: ::walks away, looking at hand he shook MALL COP  
with::   
^I have to wash his germs off now.^  
MALL COP: ::looks after MARCO like he's a psycopath::   
`You mean he's not a psycopath?`  
MARCO: ::walks into mall bathroom. #A dangrous hobby# Checks stalls to  
make sure they're all empty.@And looks pissed that Jake isn't there@   
Walks   
into one, starts to  
morph. Looks down at hand, the hand, sleeve and watch  
of the MALL COP start to form, but kinda waver in and  
out. ^That's disturbing!^ MARCO's in pain::  
`Obviously.` Oooh! Ow! Ah! Why isn't it working? Argh!  
::shaking hand, looks confused:: Ow.   
~Hey... guys? Why ISN'T it working anyway?~  
^Bad effects?^  
`Cheap producer?`  
::cut to a controller walking down mall hallways with  
a black bag in his hand towards the pet shop where  
MARCO left JAKE.::   
~::drools:: I don't know about you Aquatta, but THAT  
controller's got some FINE muscles. Yummy!~  
#Oh baby! As Tye from Clueless says, "Break me off a piece if that!"#  
^You make me ill.^  
`What do you have against muscles, Marco?`  
#He's jealous that he has none.#  
JAKE: ::still in tank:: Marco, you back yet?   
@Someone;s getting all bothered...@  
#AX!#  
::sees the controller::   
  
CONTROLLER 3 (male) ~Chandler.~ ^Bing? I think he  
looks more like a Butch than a Chandler Bing.^:  
::bends down to look in rabbit cage:: Andalite! Is  
that you? ::stands up, looks around store:: Andalite,  
show yourself!   
~::Sobs:: Why are the cute ones always so dumb?!~  
#::pats her back:: I dunno, let's face it, all the good ones are taken,   
dumb or gay. I mean, look at halof your muses,#  
@::mutters:: look at half of yours....@  
#::blinks, then points at AG:: She took ALL the yaoi couples!#  
^Hey pal, can you be MORE obvious please, the janitor  
is still clueless.^  
JAKE: I'm not in there. I'm here.   
~OH! okay, Where are you again?~  
CONTROLLER 3 `I name him Dean.`: Where?   
  
JAKE: Do you have the disk?   
`Yes, it's up my ass.`  
CONTROLLER 3 ^HIS NAME IS DEAN!^: ::takes disk out of  
bag:: Which one are you?   
~The talking lab mouse with the extremely big head.~  
#NARF!#  
@::blinks:: Yeah, right......@  
JAKE: Marco.   
^No, I'M Marco, you're Dumb-assed TV-Jake.^  
`Glad you could clear that up Marco.`  
#Whoo, Marco's the quick one ain't he?#  
::cut to MARCO washing his face in the bathroom.::  
~::muttering:: Damned acne.~  
JAKE: MARCO!   
~Jake wants to get in to your pants man, hurry up!~  
MARCO: ::looks up:: Huh? Weird. ::leaves::   
^What? You mean to tell me that know one else here  
hears voices of their best friends in their head?^  
::back to pet store. CONTROLLER 3 ~^`DEAN!`^~ is still  
looking at different cages::   
  
CONTROLLER 3 ^I'm not even gonna bother!^: Andalite!  
Reveal yourself to me or the deal is off.   
  
JAKE: Marco! Where are you?   
~Past the second star to the right and stright on till  
morning.~  
^Up the Yellow Brick road.^  
`In my cubical.`  
@Up your ass and to the left.@  
#Now that's a new one...where'd you hear that?#  
@Your brother@  
#::blinks:: hang on ::leaves room...screaming is heard from far away,   
something to the effect of "You are NOT allowed to corrupt my muses!   
Only I can do that you damn psycho!" Aquatta walks back in the room, face   
slightly flushed:: what?#  
CONTROLLER 3 ~His name is DEAN!~: That's it...   
  
JAKE: Controller, wait! Over here, I'm the parrot.  
Leave the disk on top of the iguana tank, I'll go  
quietly.   
~::blinks:: You really are just so smart Jake. How  
would an ANDALITE know what an Iguana is? Hmm? It's  
not like they would bother to study the animals of  
earth!~  
@YES WE WOULD!@  
CONTROLLER 3`Dean.`: ::walks towards iguana tank, sets  
disk down. Goes over to parrot::   
  
MARCO: ::Walks past CONTROLLER 3 ~DEAN! DEAN! Say it  
with me now folks.... DEAN!~::   
#@DEAN!@#  
JAKE: Where have you been?! And why didn't you morph  
into the security guard? You should have had him under  
arrest by now.   
  
MARCO: Well, I couldn't. Which ones the controller?   
~::jaw drops:: Why is he being so stupid?~  
^You just answerd your own question.^  
@Sounded like she asked a question,@  
CONTROLLER 3~DEAN! HIS NAME IS DEAN!~: ::parrot  
squaks:: You'll pay for that, Andalite!   
`::laughs:: He's not so bright either.`  
~Shut up, you jock.~  
JAKE: That's our boy.   
~Whatta man whatta man whatta man whatta mighty good  
man!~  
#Say it again now!#  
STORE EMPLOYEE ~Wally~: Hey, um, what are you doing?   
`Stealing your office supplies.`  
@Jack- omph! ::mouth is held shut by Aquatta::@  
#Okay, just stop.#  
@So you forgive me?@  
#No.#  
CONTROLLER 3: Oh, I...I want this bird.  
@::snickers, gets smacked::@   
^Smooth cover-up, mucsle man!^  
STORE EMPLOYEE ~HIS NAME IS WALLY!: Well, that bird's  
not for sale.   
JAKE: Just grab the disk. It's on the tank behind  
you.   
MARCO: ::grabs disk::   
^YES! Now I can look at nudie Andalites all day long!^  
CONTROLLER 3: I'm sure we can arrange some agreement.   
^Yeah, I get the bird, you get a radio-active compost  
maker.^  
@::as stupid Store Owner Wally:: Deal!@  
JAKE: ::being picked up by MARCO:: #Ooo la la, ::snickers::# Get us   
out of  
here.   
~Warp Nine, Data.~  
STORE EMPLOYEE`WALLY!`: He's the store mascot, and  
he's not for sale.   
~^::Doing the Cabbage patch:: Go Wally, go Wally, it's  
your birthday!^~   
#@::blinks and shakes heads:: tsk tsk, @#  
MARCO: ::walking behind CONTROLLER 3:: 'scuse me.   
^Dumb ass.^  
CONTROLLER 3: Really. Well, I say he is for sale.   
`Go Dean, go Dean, it's your birthday, get busy!`  
~NO!~  
^ROOT FOR WALLY!^  
#Yeah jake! What the hell is wrong with you?!#  
::cut to outside of the store. MARCO's walking down  
mall hallway::   
@STOP ALL THE FRIGGIN SCENE CHANGES!!!!@  
JAKE: Are we out yet?   
`No.`  
MARCO: I can't believe it! We got the disk. We got  
away! Nothing can stop us. We're...   
^The biggest dumbasses to ever grace the planet.^  
MALL COP: ::grabs MARCO by shoulder:: Under arrest for  
shoplifting.   
~You go, uhh...... what did we name this one again?~  
^Billy-Joe-Bob-Brain.^  
~Right. GO BILLY-JOE-BOB-BRAIN!~  
#Try saying that five times fast,#  
JAKE: Marco? What's going on?   
MARCO: Shoplifting? I didn't steal anything.   
`You stole my heart.`  
~That's sooo cheesey.~  
^No, it's romantic!^  
#No Marco, it's cheezy like Squeezy Cheeze#  
MALL COP: Look, kid, just give back the lizard before  
you get yourself in more trouble.   
MARCO: What lizard?   
#::giggles maniacally:: Oh I'm gonna leave that one alone! ::laughs::#  
`The one in your coat pocket, maybe?`  
MALL COP: ::points to MARCO'S pocket. a lizard tail is  
sticking out::   
MARCO: ::looks at tail:: Oh, that lizard.   
~::Sweatdrops:: Dummy.~  
#Jerk,#  
MALL COP: ::nods::   
JAKE: Hand me over   
MARCO: ::takes JAKE out of pocket. Hands him to the  
MALL COP. :: Well here you go, sir. ::JAKE bites the  
MALL COP'S hand. MARCO runs::   
^NOOO! Billy-Joe-Bob-Brain! He's got salmanella  
posining now!^  
~NOOOO!~  
@I thought you could only get that from chickens,@  
MALL COP: ::chasing MARCO:: Ah! Hey! Get Back here!  
Stop!   
~NYPD!~  
^LAPD!^  
`Uhh... CPD?`  
~^CPD?^~  
`Canada Police Department?`  
~^Oh.^~  
@No! It's the MIB!@  
#::smirks:: then you better get your ass outta here alien boy.#  
MARCO: ::pushes between to shoppers:: Sorry!   
~At least he has manners....~  
MALL COP: STOP! Get back here! ::turns corner. can't  
find MARCO.::   
`Stop in the name of the Queen of America!`  
^Hey, that's no way to talk about our fine president,  
Jake.^  
~I wanted Rosebush to be president!~  
^You can let everyone on the mailing list know all  
about that later.^  
JAKE: ::demorphed. Standing in front of an electronics  
store with his back to the hall::   
MARCO: Well. That was close.   
~HEY! How'd they morph so fast?~  
#It's called stopping the camera for an hour#  
JAKE: ::looks after MALL COP:: Ow! Cut it out! ::takes  
MARCO, in rat morph, out of his pocket::   
MARCO: ::says some stuff that I can't understand  
'cause it's a bad recording:: I couldn't resist.   
JAKE: Change back before I get rabies   
~Kinda makes you wonder where exactly Marco bit him.~  
@^`::Cross their legs:: OW!`^@  
#::snickers evilly::#  
MARCO: ::starts to demorph:: Sorry.   
^You better be pally!^  
::cut to two controllers in the back of a car.  
Tracking something::   
~AHHH! MY EYES!~  
CONTROLLER 4 (female) ~Oh my GOD! She looks like my  
Cousin Jennifer!~ ^Scary.^: The homing device is  
operating perfectly.   
  
CONTROLLER 5 (male) `Billy-Joe`: Let's take them now.   
~SHAME! Trying to rob them of their purity!~  
^Their what?^  
`Virginity Marco.`  
^Oh.^  
VISSER 3: ::hologram:: No. Give them time to gather  
all together. Then tonight, we'll take them all.   
#Orgy!#  
::CONTROLLERS laugh ^Like Emerald from Sailor Moon.^  
~Oh, ow.~. Cut to MARCO finishing demorphing in a  
secluded corner of the mall::   
^Makes me wonder what ELSE they do in the seclude  
coner of the mall.^  
#You'd know wouldn't you?#  
MARCO: ::spitting:: I don't even like sunflower seeds.  
Or lint.   
JAKE: Just give me the disk so we can get out of here.  
  
MARCO: ::looks in coat pockets. Gives JAKE a scared  
look.::  
JAKE: ::exasperated:: What?   
^Remember that condem you gave me?^  
`Yeah...`  
^It's gone!^  
`Oh well, we'll screw without it.`  
MARCO: Well, I put it down right before I became a  
rat. But don't worry, I know where it is. C'mon.  
::pulls JAKE with him back to the electronics store::   
~::sighs:: He has legs, Boring Cabbage.~  
^And he knows how to use 'em!^  
JAKE: So...where did you leave the #Condem# disk?   
MARCO: I remember. I put it down on the ground right  
next to some old fast food bags. ::looks around. Takes  
lid off trash can:: The bags are gone too.  
@Oh yeah, smooth move amigo,@   
JAKE: ::looks up. Sees a janitor throwing away trash.  
Pokes MARCO so he'll look up. Both run after janitor::  
`And now it's time for, Janitor Hunting!`  
#@::plays Jungle music track::@#  
MARCO: ::running up to JANITOR throwing bags into a  
dumpster:: Excuse me! Did you sweep up, a, uh, well,  
it's like a little disk thingie.   
@Wow, how percise,@  
^Brilliant, really. Your wit amazes me.^  
JANITOR `Flyod`: Look, I just sweep it up, not catalog  
it. Anything I sweep up is in this bag. ::throws bag  
into dumpster:: In there. ::walks away::   
~^`::look at eachother, then start doing the cabbage  
patch again:: Go Flyod, go Flyod, it's your birthday,  
get busy!`^~  
MARCO: ::looks at JAKE:: Well, it's in the bag. It  
shouldn't be too hard. ::JAKE and MARCO climb up on  
the side of the dumpster. Looking in:: Uh, ^Houstan^  
we have a problem.   
JAKE: ::looking at MARCO:: We?   
~::laughs:: Nice to know he's a leader willing to get  
dirty.~  
#::snickers::#  
::cut to MARCO in dumpster, digging through trash::   
`And now we are veiwing the DUmb-Assed Marco in his  
natural habitat.`  
JAKE: Any luck yet?   
MARCO: ::sarcasticly:: Yeah, lots of luck. In fact,  
I'd have to say this is one of the luckiest days of my  
life. Morph into a guard. Who's idea was that?   
#That was your idea#  
JAKE: That was your idea.   
~^`D'OH!`^~  
@Freaky,@  
#::gasps:: I QUOTED TV JAKE! I'M CURSED FOR LIFE!!#  
MARCO: Oh. Well, why didn't you stop me? Y'know, I'm  
starting to worry about your judgement.   
~Yeah, me too Jake.~  
JAKE: I think I am slipping. ^Slipping into the pit of  
Love, with me, everyone's favorite sexy hunk of an  
Animorph, me.^ ~Does Marco have an ego, Aquatta? I  
don't think so.~ #Oh no, not in the slightest, ::rolls eyes::# I let   
you come   
up a plan. We'll find  
it. Listen, I'm hungry. Can I get ya' somethin'?   
MARCO: ::holds up some gross looking food scraps:: No,  
thanks.   
~I'd be a little sick too.~  
JAKE: 'K. I'll be right back. ::walks away::   
::garbage truck comes as JAKE leaves. Puts down lever  
things to lift up dumpster.::   
MARCO: ::banging sides of dumpster:: No! Hey! Stop!  
What're you doing? Stop! Hey, lemme back out! ::dumped  
into the back of the truck:: YAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::digs  
out from under piles of bags. Looks at the walls.  
They're moving in:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!   
~^`::laughing:: That's one way of takibng out the  
trash!`^~  
@He sorta sounds like Shredder, heh heh,@  
JAKE: ::back with food. Bangs on side of dumpster::  
Hey, how's it goin'? ::bangs again:: Marco, how's it  
goin'? #He;s not there dumbass!# ::sees truck, climbs up on side of   
dumpster::  
Aw, man. ::morphs Homer and chases after truck::   
~He can't tell the the dumpser sounds more hollow than  
before?~  
@No cause he;s stuuuupid,  
::cut to CASSIE at The Sharing meeting::   
^NOOOOOOO!^  
#EVIL!#  
MELLISA: Thanks for coming with me.   
CASSIE: Hey, no problem.   
~Cass, you were partically hypervetalating. We almost  
had to get Ax to revive you.~  
@Ewwwwwww, no way in hell....@  
#::scoffs:: you're just saying that cause you're trying to make up.#  
TOM: ::from behind CASSIE ~To do what? Hmmmm?~::  
Cassie, What're you doin' here?   
#::as TV Cassie:: To see you and to screw your little brother#  
CASSIE: Uh, I came with Mellisa and Rachel.   
#LIAR!#  
TOM: Cool. Now, if we could just get my useless  
brother @Got that part right@ to come out, we'd all be set. Maybe you   
could,  
uh, talk him in to it, huh?   
~OHHH! Bad Tom, You want a threesome with Cassie and  
Jake.~  
^At least he's kinky.^  
CASSIE: ::looks behind TOM. sees RACHEL coming:: There  
you are.   
~Your cousin was starting to scare me.~  
`Don't talk about Rachel that way.`  
^She was talking about Tom.^  
`Oh. But Tom and Rachel are they same aren't they?  
Both are dumb, fake and ugly.`  
~^Point.^~  
RACHEL: So, we'd better get going. It's getting late.   
CASSIE: ::picks up her stuff to leave::  
TOM: Hey, cuz, what's your hurry?   
RACHEL: Uh, I'm not feeling that well. We gotta go.  
See ya', Mellisa. ::looks at TOM:: Catch ya' later,  
cuz. ::walking out with CASSIE:: I've got a ton to  
tell you.   
~::Looks sick:: Ax, where the bathroom? I think I'm  
gonna puke.~  
@::points:: down to the right@  
::cut to the two controllers tracking in the truck::  
CONTROLLER 4 ^Betty-Joe^: The Tracking device, it's  
back at the mall, sir.   
VISSER 3: The Andalites must be gathered. Go.   
^Now do you see the resemblance to a demented Furby on  
crack, Ax?^  
@We look better on the books, this sucks.@  
::cut to Cyberia, the internet cafe JAKE and MARCO  
come in and sit in a booth next to CASSIE and RACHEL.  
MARCO is a mess::   
^Oh my God. TV-Me's trailerpark is showing.^  
#Is he intelligent enough to have one?#  
RACHEL: Where have you guys been? We've been looking  
all over for you.   
^They've been making out in the janitor's closet, you  
can't tell?^  
`SO THAT'S what that stuff is!`  
~::walks out of the bathroom just in time to hear  
that.Looks sick:: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!::runs back  
in::~  
CASSIE: ::looking around:: What stinks?   
`Cassie farted!`  
@No I think it's AG@  
#Poor girl,#  
RACHEL: Listen, this is important. We went to a  
meeting of The Sharing and found out alot. #Your bro is bi, loves   
incest and   
wants a threesome of you and Cassie. Sorry Cuz,# Most of The  
Sharing is just regular people. But there's a smaller  
group who are all controllers. The yeerk pools. They  
need to go back to them every three days to get some  
kind of ray or something. Or they die, but we still  
didn't find out anything about Tobias.   
^Oh your poor deprived lover.^  
CASSIE: ::looking at MARCO:: Ugh, it's you.   
`::laughs:: Yes, Marco is my poor deprived lover.`  
^If I'm you're lover, I'm not deprived of anything  
except a good lawyer.^  
MARCO: What?   
^You heard me the first time.^  
@#::bursts out laughing::#@  
JAKE: Marco spent the afternoon in the back of a  
garbage truck. Almost getting crushed to death. I had  
to bail him out of the city dump.   
~::walks back in:: I remeber when I used to go to the  
city dump with my mom and throw the garbage away. Then  
we moved back to New York.~  
CASSIE: ::giggles::   
RACHEL: ::laughing:: What?   
MARCO: It's a long story, but here's the punch line  
::holds up the disk:: Look familiar?   
#No.#  
`I've never seen it before in my life.`  
::cut to three controllers. Two from the back of the  
truck, the third must have been driving.::  
~There are THREE now? They must have reproduced.~  
::back to Cyberia. RACHEL takes the disk from MARCO::  
JAKE: The yeerks had it, we got it back this  
afternoon.   
MARCO: They offered a deal over the web, an Andalite  
for the disk, but we outsmarted them.   
RACHEL: ::Shaking head:: They outsmarted you. This  
isn't the disk.   
^`::as Tv-Marco and TV-Jake::WHA?!`^  
MARCO: What?   
~::slaps forehead:: Morons.~  
#Jerkoffs,#  
@Sluts. ::everyone stares:: What?@  
RACHEL: It's heavier than I remember. Hold this.  
::hands it to CASSIE::   
CASSIE: Yeah, and it's warm. Like it's on or  
something. ::CASSIE looks at RACHEL. RACHEL looks at  
JAKE. MARCO looks at JAKE.::   
`::As TV-Jake:: ::giggles:: Umm, I guess it was  
crushed between me and Marco during our make-out  
session.~  
::The CONTROLLERS walk into the cafe. Towards where  
every one was sitting. Nobody's there::  
^They dissappeard!^  
#YAY!#  
RACHEL: ::walking out in the mall with the others:: #NO! I thought they   
disspeared!#  
We've gotta ditch the disk.   
CASSIE: Yeah.   
MARCO: Well, then let's leave it with a message.  
Something moving. Comprende?   
~Pardon? No habla espanol.~  
#::sighs:: TV Marco now corrupted poor TV Cassie,#  
JAKE: Escalator.   
^No. The Dumb Waiter.^  
MARCO: ::shakes head:: No, Elevator. ::runs off::   
^Same thing!^  
JAKE: ::looks at CASSIE and RACHEL:: Genius. ::runs to  
catch up::   
`^::Laugh::^`  
~He is NOT!~  
RACHEL: Huh? ::looks where the guys went.::  
~I didn't get it either.~  
^Of course you didn't, you're a girl.^  
#::grumbles angrily::#  
`Marco, we don't get it either.`  
^Oh yeah.^  
#Ha ha,#  
::Three CONTROLLERS coming up escalator::  
CONTROLLER 4 ~Betty-Joe~: The signals moving up.   
CONTROLLER 5 ~Billy-Joe~: Wait, it's moving down.  
::All three step onto escalator::   
CONTROLLER 4 ^Betty-Joe^: ::looking at door,  
grinning:: They're ours.   
::doors open, reveal a cardboard monster ^LOOK! It's  
Rachel's true form!^ with the disk in it's mouth.  
Controllers put down tracking devices dejectedly. Turn  
and leave. Animorphs are a level up, looking down,  
laughing.::  
~'Cause myn scarylooking cousin wannabe is just the  
funniest thing around.~   
MARCO: C'mon, guys.   
CASSIE: Yeah, let's get out of here.   
JAKE: That was close.  
~^`::half singing, half talking:: Clean, close,  
shave.`^~   
::Cut to them walking by a baseball diamond. CASSIE  
and RACHEL in front, JAKE and MARCO behind::   
~`^DAMNATION ON ALL ANI-TV SCENE CHANGES!^`~  
RACHEL: You guys kill me. ~Funny, you don't look  
dead!~ You can say a couple of words to eachother and  
you have a whole plan worked out.   
CASSIE: Yeah, how do you do that?   
^Same way we do everything, by guessing.^  
MARCO: Well, we could explain it to you, but you  
probably wouldn't get it.  
RACHEL: ::Walking backwards:: WE wouldn't get it?  
^No, you girls are dumb.^  
~HEY!~  
#Screw off Marco!#  
^I was talking about THEM, not girls in general.^  
#Damn straight....#  
~No, he's gay. Very gay.~  
#I didn;t mean it like that, but okay ::snickers::#  
MARCO: ::looks at JAKE:: It's a guy thing. ::RACHEL  
and CASSIE turn around:: They don't get it.   
JAKE: That's okay, we do.   
`Just like you don't understand girl things.`  
MARCO: Nylon.   
~Now don't start that again!~  
JAKE: It's fiberglass!   
^`PLASTIC!`^  
@WHO CARES?!?!?!@  
JAKE VO: I guess I was wrong before.#Not a new thing to you huh Jakey   
boy?#   
Not everything's  
different. It helps to know that some things stay the  
same. Like who your friends are.   
^But, TV-Jake has no real friends.^  
MARCO VO: By the way, it turned out to be nylon, but I  
let Jake think he was right. Ya' gotta let him win  
every once in a while.   
`HEY!`  
::View changes to show a hawk looking down from a  
perch on the fence behind the field.::   
~^`::plays scary music.::`^~  
JAKE VO: I heard that!   
@#^Oh you so did not!^#@  
  
~Well, that's the end of this MiST, hey Aquatta, how  
did you and Ax like it?~  
#::grins:: Can;t wait to meet the TV Ax in all honesty.#  
@Does that mean you forgive me? ::looks at her with pleading eyes::@  
#::smirks:: Maybe.#  
@::grins::@  
^Maybe we can do this again sometime!^  
`It'll be fun! Now back to bed Marco, you are still  
sick after all.`  
^Will you read me a story?^  
`Yes, I'll read you a story.`  
@I'm getting out of here.@  
~Ugh, they're so cute together it makes me sick.~  
#::sighs:: come on, let's leave the young lovers alone. I'll treat to a   
root   
beer float.#  



	5. Epsiode Five

The Fifth Animorphs MiST   
By: AquaianGoddess   
  
Author's notes: AniTV isn't mine, thank God, flames   
will be laughed and and used for smores.   
  
^We got bored, so this one might not be as good as the   
other ones.^   
  
@Aww, come on, it'll be great!@   
  
~Riiiight. You know the drill, some of the jokes we make may be   
perverted or offensive. the sqiggly lines are mine,   
for I AM AquaianGoddess!~   
  
^And these '^' things are mine. I am MARCO THE   
MAGNIFICANT MUSE!^   
  
@I am Aquatta, I'll add in random comments here and there ^_^@   
  
#*I am Aximili and just here cause Aquatta forced me to.*#   
  
@::grins evilly::@   
  
~On with it!~   
**************************************************   
"Between Friends"  
  
::zoom in on RACHEL reading in her bed::   
  
^~#::Screams::#~^   
  
@KILL IT! KILLIT!!!!@   
  
#::sweatdrops::*Been watching Dogma?*#   
  
@::shrugs:: Hey, I am becoming one of AG™'s muses. ::grins:: Right AG-chan?@   
  
~::nods:: But you're the only one that lives outside of the home.~  
  
RACHEL: ::hears a hawk screach, puts book down. Goes   
over to window, opens it. Leans out::   
Hello? ~Yes Rachel, the hawk is gonna answer you   
back.~ ::turns back to window. Pauses, then quickly   
turns around to window again. Gasps. A hawk flies in   
her window and lands on her bed::   
  
@KILL HER! Peck her eyes out!!!@   
  
TOBIAS: It's okay, it's me.   
  
^Hey! It talked! You were right AG!^   
  
RACHEL: Tobias!   
  
~WHA?! You mean he's not dead yet?!~   
  
^Not FAIR!^   
  
&::Tobias from the halls of Aquatta's muses:: HEY!&   
  
#*No comments*#   
  
@Hey, Tobias is a hottie! And go back to your room!@   
  
&Yes Ma'am.&   
  
^::makes a whip cracking noise::^  
  
TOBIAS: Hey, Rachel.   
  
RACHEL: We thought they'd got you. What happened?   
  
~Well, I met a whole bunch of other hawks and they   
told me that having the urge to kill the   
people that left me in the Yeerk pool is totaly   
natural and I should just go with the flow.~   
  
@#*Sounds good to me.*#@   
  
TOBIAS: Back at the yeerk pool, I guess getting away   
took more than two hours.   
  
^You could have hidden, demorphed, then remorphed you   
ass.^   
  
#*Marco dissed you!*#   
  
@Ax, dollface,that's not quite a new thing you know.@   
  
RACHEL: No. Tobias, concentrate. Concentrate hard, you   
have to change back!   
  
~I need to get laid!~   
  
^Alas, Tobias. Thou shalt die a virgin.^   
  
@::plays violin::@   
  
#*Where'd you get that?*#   
  
@What?@   
  
#*The violin?*#   
  
@::hit him over thehead with said violin:: Don't ask questions!@   
  
~You stole it form Quatre didn't you?~  
  
#::rubbing head::*Oww, that hurt!*#   
  
@awwww, want me tokiss and make it better?@   
  
#*Huh?*#   
  
@Heh heh heh@   
  
~^Must..... puke.....^~  
  
TOBIAS: I've tried. ^to got laid. Really I did! But I   
didn't know how, so I called up the refercence desk at   
the libery and asked the secertary there.... and IT'S   
GROSS!^   
  
#::shudders:: *To think that such a beautiful act could be so disgusting*#   
  
~That Beautiful act creats stupid people like Brookie. I think sex is werid and gross too, Tv-Tobais, except when Jake and Marco do it in fics! Then it's beautiful.~   
  
@::sweatdrops:: Um, Ax, have a clue as to what you're talking about?@   
  
#*Uh, not really*#  
  
~::Slaps forehead::~   
  
RACHEL: Try. Harder.   
  
~I. Can't. Stop. Talking. Like. This.~   
  
@Must. Shoot. Bad. Actress.@   
  
TOBIAS: It's no use. Elfangor warned us, he was   
right. I can't change back.   
  
~::as Elfangor:: Man I hate it when I'm right!~   
  
#*Damn you Elfangor!*#   
  
^Remind me to send a sympathy card.^   
  
@Muahahaha!@   
  
~Actually, this is kinda sad, he was the only cute   
actor on the show.~   
  
@Yeah no kidding!@   
  
&FINALLY I get some respect!&   
  
~^::Singing, badly:: R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me!^~  
  
@Tobias I'm sorry but you're Rodney Dangerfeild impression sucks, go back to   
your room.@   
  
RACHEL: ::looks away::   
  
^And she knows it too!^   
  
@What? That Tobias' Dangerfeild impression sucks?@   
  
::Theme Song interupts here::   
  
~^::Covering their ears and screaming until it   
stops::^~   
  
@::has the amazing ability to block stuff out:: I actually thought the   
themesong was decent could be worse could be Go Go Animorphs!@   
  
~^::Blinks and start singing, to the tune of the old Power Ranger's theme:: Go go Animorphs! Go go animorphs! Not-So-Mighty On-Crack Animorphs!^~  
  
~::As Tv-wanna-be-power-ranger-Jake:: It's Morphing Time! White Siberian Tiger morph!~  
  
^::Blinks:: God, that's actually a very scary thought.^  
  
::RACHEL walking through halls at school, interspersed   
with images of TOBIAS, both human (from when he and   
RACHEL walked home together) and when he visited her   
as a hawk::   
  
~^Ooooh. Symbolism.^~   
  
RACHEL VO: My name is Rachel. ~^Hi Rachel.^~ ~Welcome   
to the HAA meeting. Hawk Addicts Aynonomus.~ My friend   
^as in boyfriend? I think not.!^ @She's trying to act like Relena! Did you   
knowthat in the Japanese version of the episode where she first meets Sally   
shesays that she's Heero's sweetheart? Allow me a Wufei moment: INJUSTICE!!@   
^::Screams like a girl::^ ~::blinks and looks pale::~ Tobias can usually change back and forth, from human to animal, like the rest of us. But this time he went over the limit, and   
now he's trapped in the body of a hawk. We have to   
help him. ::goes to her locker, opens it:: ~And a bomb   
explodes, killing her. THE END!~  
  
@YAY!!!@   
  
^You can't save Tobias now, he's too far gone.^   
  
~We've lost him doctor!~   
  
#*Well for God's sake nurse I'm a ship egineer not a miracle worker!*#   
  
MARCO: ::closes RACHEL'S locker:: I can't believe it.   
  
^Me neither. Your acting is horrendous.^   
  
~Have you been stealing my thesaurous again?~   
  
JAKE: ::next to MARCO:: At least he's still alive.   
  
~Barely but he'll die soon anyway, so let's have an   
orgy!~   
  
@::blinks:: echi @   
  
^The only people that would show up would be me and   
Jake... ::Smiles evilly:: I have an idea... Oh   
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ack!^   
  
~::Has him by the hair:: After the MiST.~   
  
^::pouts::^   
  
#runs from the room, holding his nose, or the slits we suppose::#   
  
@Heehee, now look what you've done.@   
  
~Let us be proud.~  
  
RACHEL: And we can hear his thoughts.   
  
@You'd like thatwouldn't you Rach?@   
  
^That's not very comferting.^   
  
~That's just disturbing.~   
  
MARCO: When he want's us to. You think we could find a   
more crowded place to talk about this?   
  
~No.~   
  
JAKE: Yeah, you're right.   
  
^Not really, you're just saying that so you two can   
find a locker to screw in! Spazz.^   
  
#::from the bathroom:: *Jake, you're never right!*#   
  
RACHEL: 6:30 tonight at the barn?   
  
~::as Rachel:: I'm doing a strip tease.~   
  
@AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!!! WE ALL SHALL BE BLINDED!!!@   
  
JAKE: I'll tell Cassie. C'mon ::him and MARCO leave::   
  
^That Rachel's doing the strip tease?^   
  
@::grins evilly:: Wonder what the boys are going to do.@   
  
#*Will you shut up!This'll never stop!*#   
  
@::smilesinnocently:: What won't stop?@  
  
~CAN'T STOP THE BUM RUSH!~   
  
#::pause:: *I. Am.Not. Saying. If I may also borrow a Wufei moment, it would   
be injustice.* #  
  
RACHEL: ::turns around, sees MELISSA coming around   
corner. Goes to see her at her locker.:: Hey, Melissa,   
What's up?   
  
~Let's see, her alien controlled father is trying to   
take over the world, kill her "best friend", and he   
won't raise her allowance!~   
  
^He won't raise her allowance? That bastard!^   
  
@INJUSTICE!@   
  
#*Allright Aquatta no more Gundam Wing.*#   
  
@NOOOOO!!! ::throws a very large book at him, he screams in pain:: Ha.@   
  
MELISSA: ::putting books away:: Nothing.   
  
~Ohhh, she lies threw her teeth!~   
  
^SHE HAS TEENAGE ANGST!^   
  
~She wants to be me.~   
  
^Tell me about it!^   
  
*Angst?*   
  
@::sighs:: AG, remind me to change the locks on the door when MiSTing, this is   
Chibi-D, my lemon-angt muse. NOW GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!@   
  
*Sure I can listen to the room next door. ::grins evilly and trots away::*   
  
@(O).(O)@   
  
~I fear for your sanity.~  
  
RACHEL: So, how's The Sharing? You still going to the   
meetings?   
  
~Ohhhh, that's a subtile "I don't approve of it"   
comment!~   
  
MELISSA: Yeah, I go. ::starts to walk up stairs::   
  
^And I don't care what you say about it! I believe in   
war, bitch!^   
  
#::comes back in::*She's Dorothy now?*#   
  
^::Blinks:: Dorothy was kinda cool.....kinda, if you're into the Rachel that got beaten with an ugly stick.^  
  
@AH! DO NOT MENTION THAT NAME! And you say I can't watch Gundam?@   
  
~I thought it was "I believe in Peace, Bitch."?~   
  
RACHEL: Uh, how's your dad?   
  
~He dreams about you at night! It's soooo American   
Beauty, it's not funny.~   
  
^That's just .... no.^   
  
@AG, you went a lil too far now.@   
  
MELISSA: ::stops:: Uh, hello. He's the principal. You   
see him every day.   
  
~I was wondering who that guy was!~   
  
RACHEL: Right, I knew that. ~^::Nodding::   
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.^~ @Ha ha! Dumb blonde!@::MELISSA   
starts to walk up stairs again:: Hey, can I come over   
to your house after school?   
  
MELISSA: ::stops and turns around:: Why?   
RACHEL: ^So I can come and rape you in the night?^ #*Yuri echi,*# @Ax,   
you don't know what you just said.@ #* So?*# @Whoo boy....¦@   
Just to hang? ~Same thing.~   
  
MELISSA: We shouldn't. ::RACHEL looks confused ~Isn't   
she always?~ @SHE'S BLONDE!@ ~Stop dissing blondes, they aren't all bad, just the dumb ones are.~:: My dad doesn't like me to have friends   
over after school. ^Because he usually has me get   
raped by the football team after school.^   
  
#*Ewwwwwww*#   
  
RACHEL: Since when?   
  
~Since my dad grew this mustache thingy and changed   
his name to Adolf Hilter.~   
  
@SINCE NOW BITCH!@   
  
MELISSA: For awhile. I'll see you later. ::Goes back   
up stairs::   
  
^I thing she wants to end the relationship, Rachel.^   
  
@Aww, poor witttle girlie@   
  
::cut to everybody, including TOBIAS, at CASSIE'S   
barn::   
  
RACHEL: ::leaning back on something:: We have to do   
something! ::Walks over to JAKE::   
  
^I KNOW! A bake sale!^   
  
~::Blinks:: ::Crickets chirp::~   
  
^It was just an idea.^   
  
@#*Don't quit your day job,*#@   
  
^I have a job?^  
  
JAKE: ::looking at a shelf ^Hey is Cassie's journal!^   
~Read it read it!~:: I don't think we should ^read   
Cassie's journal. Her handwriting's like drunken   
chicken scratch anyway.^ do anything right now.   
  
RACHEL: Why not?   
  
~Because he's a pansy and doesn't wanna risk getting   
his lover, Marco, killed?~   
  
JAKE: We've had way too many close calls. ::walks   
away::   
  
^You wuss!^   
  
@WEAKLING!!!!@   
  
#*Aquatta. Shutup!*#   
  
@No.@   
  
RACHEL: ::walks after him:: And meanwhile, the yeerks   
continue taking over and Tobias is stuck as a hawk?   
  
~::rolling her eyes:: Nice comeback.~   
  
@Tell me about it.@   
  
CASSIE: That's not fair, #*Life's not fair, live with it.*# you know we   
allwant to help   
him, right.   
  
^::As TV Marco:: Wrong. If Tobias comes back, I can't   
get laid when I want, comprende amigo?^   
  
#::falls over laughing::#   
  
JAKE: ::walking behind CASSIE ~He rips off her cloths   
and preceds to rape her.~ ^That was a violent   
outburst.^ @No freakin' kidding,@:: We have to have a plan, that's all I'm   
saying.   
  
RACHEL: Look, Mr. Chapman is obviously an important   
controller ^Really? I couldn't tell.^, right? Melissa   
has a cat, I think I should acquire it and get into   
his house.   
  
^Aquire Fluffer McKitty?^   
  
~Who the hell names their cat Fluffer McKitty?~   
  
@Obviously a stoned retard like Melissa@   
  
^And 'Kitty' is a better name?^   
  
~I WAS THREE!~   
  
@And sorry but Kitty is more acceptable. I can see myself going 'Here   
Kitty Kitty' instead of 'Here Fluffer McKitty FlufferMcKitty!' I'd feel like a   
god damn moron! yeesh better off with Mistoffelees anyways!@   
  
MARCO: ::lounging in a hay loft:: While you're at it,   
get the answers to our finals.   
  
^Why would Chapman have the answers anyway?^   
  
CASSIE: ::looks up incredulously at MARCO::   
  
@Ouch, if looks can kill,@   
  
#*We would have been dead within the first two minutes of the first episode.*#   
  
~If looks could kill, most of the human population would be dead with me around.~  
  
MARCO: What good is it if we defeat the yeerks, and   
then can't get into college?   
  
~You wouldn't be able to get in anyway.~   
  
#*Yeah compadre*#   
  
RACHEL: I ran into Melissa this morning, #*and that hurt*# @Ax,@ she's   
different. Scared. Something's happened, ^Umm, you   
make it sound like she's getting raped by the man,   
Rach.^ ~You mean she's not?~ I want to help her   
before her father turns her into one of them.   
  
~What if she's one already? You mean you didn't think   
of that? Oh, that's right, they don't think.~   
  
@Yeah, you're asking way, WAY too much@   
  
JAKE: If you get caught that's exactly what's gonna   
happen to you. @#*HORRAY!*#@ ::pause:: What do you think, Tobias?   
  
^That was a dirty move.^   
  
~What?~   
  
^Asking Tobias, he knows Rachel has a soft spot for   
him, so he's using it against her.^   
  
@Ah, the sign of a true leader.@   
  
TOBIAS: No one wants to stop the yeerks more than   
me, but Jake's right.   
  
~I bet Jake paid him to say that.~   
  
JAKE: For now, we keep a low profile,okay?   
  
^::blinks:: Can we throw bricks through his windows   
and send death threats?^   
  
RACHEL: ::looks away::   
  
~:: As Tv Rachel:: But I wanna FUCK!~   
  
^You sounded more like Catherine than you did Rachel.^   
  
@::snickers::@   
  
MARCO: Real low profile, we're kickin' and talkin' to   
a hawk.   
  
~Kickin'? Kickin' what?~   
  
@*DON'T KICK MY TOBIAS! Damn you!*@   
  
~::blinks:: 'Your' Tobias????~  
  
::cut to CHAPMAN and MELISSA eating dinner::   
  
MELISSA:Is your dinner okay?   
  
CHAPMAN: :: ~Turns green and runs for the bathroom.~   
looks up from plate, pauses, smiles a REALLY fake   
smile ~OIL. OIL.~:: It's both satisfying and delicious   
^::Laughs:: He makes it sound like a damn weight loss   
commercial!^. From now on whenever your mother's away,   
you're the substitue chef.   
  
#*He's a goner.*#   
  
@Huh?@   
  
#*Would YOU eat Melissa's cooking?*#   
  
@No.@   
  
#*My point.*#   
  
~What does her mom do anyway?~   
  
^She's a Hooker?^   
  
~^@::Look at each other and burst into song:: Hey   
sista, soul sistas, gotta get that dough sistas.@^~   
  
#(O).(O)#   
  
MELISSA: ::smiles shyly::   
  
~BAD ACTING! RUNNNNNNN!~   
  
@::starts running, Ax grabs her shirt:: Hey!@   
  
#*I don't believeshe was being literal.*#   
  
@I don't care bad acting still sucks!@   
  
::cut to RACHEL sneaking around outside CHAPMAN'S   
house. Knocks screwdriver off counter, attracts   
CHAPMAN'S attention inside::   
  
@Muahahaha! And she's supossed to be the "Graceful one" lil Miss Gymnast   
and all! Haha!@   
  
^What's a screwdriver doing outside anyway?^   
  
CHAPMAN: ::gets up from table and goes to door::   
  
MELISSA:What's wrong?   
  
~I think there's a killer in a ghost mask outside.   
Melissa, go outside and see if I'm right.~   
  
@YEAH! DO IT!@   
  
CHAPMAN: ::looks out glass door, doesn't see RACHEL. @#*He's blind as a   
bat!*#@ Goes back to dinner::   
  
^SHE WAS RIGHT THERE!! HOW THE HELL CAN YOU NOT SEE   
HER?!^   
  
~NOT ANOTHER ONE! Is it genetics or something?!~   
  
@It's Canadian water.@   
  
~::in tacky Movie phone guy voice:: Canadian Water™ is availible at your local Rite Aid.~  
  
RACHEL: ::by another door of the house, opens can of   
tuna, sets it down in front of cat door, opens cat   
door and waves the tuna smell in the house:: C'mon,   
free dinner. C'mon, it's tuna ::picks up can::   
Dolphin friendly and everything. C'mon, here   
kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty. ::cat comes out, picks up   
cat:: Gotcha!   
  
^::blinks:: Doesn't the kitty have a name?^   
  
~No. But at least she used Dolphin friendly tuna....   
BUT WHY DIDN'T THEY HEAR HER?!~   
  
@Cause they're assholes.@   
  
#*AQUATTA!*#   
  
@What?@   
  
#*Language language!*#   
  
@::waves hand dismissively:: Aw leave me alone.@   
  
#*I'll call you Aldrea again,*#   
  
@(O).(O)@   
  
JAKE: ::sneaking around in CHAPMAN'S yard. Sees RACHEL   
acquiring cat. RACHEL starts to morph, stands up::   
^She^ Ra--   
  
RACHEL: ::goes in cat door::   
  
CHAPMAN: ::sees cat/RACHEL jumping up on counter::   
Cat!   
  
~DOG!~   
  
^FISH!^   
  
@I thought we were messing with Andalites and Hork-Bajir here.@   
  
~::Blinks:: No.~   
  
MELISSA: ::looks back at RACHEL/cat::   
  
CHAPMAN:That cat is a nusance.   
  
~Did he poop on your shoes again?~   
  
@No cat would disgrace himself in such a way.@   
  
MELISSA: ::looks back at CHAPMAN:: But I thought you   
loved him?   
  
CHAPMAN: ::smiles fake smile ^Careful, you're face my   
stick like that.^:: Well, now I don't. ::he and   
  
MELISSA go back to dinner::   
  
^Funny, the cat likes you.^   
  
RACHEL: ::jumps down off counter, goes downstairs, demorphs, starts searching CHAPMAN's desk area. Pulling things off walls, rifling through desk papers::  
  
~This just screams breaking and entering.~  
  
CHAPMAN: ::suddenly gets up from table, heads in direction of basement::  
  
^Umm, dude, Devil's Tower isn't in the basement.^  
  
~I knew it! You watched Close Encounters without me!~   
  
@Close Encounters?@  
  
#*Wasn't that a movie?*#  
  
@That was Close Encounters of the Third Kind wacko,@  
  
~That's what I was talking about!~  
  
@Sorry AG-Chan.@  
  
#::blinks:: *So aliens are reffered to as the third kind, and I'm NOT A WARNER BROTHER DAMMIT!*#  
  
@AXIMILI!@  
  
#*Sorry.*#  
  
MELISSA: ::turns around in chair to see CHAPMAN:: Dad?   
  
CHAPMAN: ::stops, looks back at MELISSA:: ~::in Darth Vader voice:: I'm not your father, I'm your mother.~ #^::As Melissa:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!^# @Ax you sound weird as a girl@Yes?   
  
MELISSA: Can you quiz me on my history test tonight?   
  
~I'm sorry, I don't have time for you. The invastion is taking up alot of my time and you KNOW how important it is to me! Go smoke pot or something.~  
  
@::snickers::@  
  
CHAPMAN: I'm sure you'll do a competent job.   
  
^She sure will Dr. Evil.^  
  
MELISSA: But you always help me.   
  
~He does not!~  
  
@#*LIAR!!!*#@  
  
CHAPMAN: ::looks away as if remembering:: Of course I do. Why don't you start without me? @Ew, you have orgies with your father?@ #*AQUATTA!!!*# @What? Those two can NOT be related,@ ::leans down and gives MELISSA a very awkward kiss on the head. Goes downstairs::   
  
@Now you see, I don't care if you're a Controller they would know enough to be comfortable kissing their hosts daughter.@  
  
~^::Blinks::^~ ~Talk about awkward moment. Fathers don't do that when they are about to go talk to their boss.~  
  
@Exactly!@  
  
^His lipstick is probably smeared now.^  
  
#*How in space did I get mixed up in this*#  
  
~Mystery Science Theratre 3000 was full.~   
  
#*Oh.*#  
  
@Awww, I wuv you Aximawawee!@  
  
#*::blinks:: *You are a strange human.*#  
  
@uh huh! ::grins::@  
  
~^I'm scared!^~  
  
RACHEL: ::still frantically looking through the desk.::   
  
~I know my doodle that say "Chapman is Hot" is here SOMEWHERE!~  
  
JAKE: ::in yard, ^Chanting.^ ~Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee~ looking at watch:: C'mon Rachel, let's go.  
  
^He's gotta pee, rachel! HURRY UP SO HE CAN IMPREGNATE YOU!^   
  
@#*Ewwww,*#@  
  
RACHEL: ::hears CHAPMAN coming downstairs, morphs back to cat just before he gets to the basement::   
  
JAKE: ::sees real cat go in house ^And makes no move to stop it.^:: Oh, man!   
  
@Ha! Baka!@  
  
CHAPMAN: ::sees RACHEL.:: Cat! ~second time.~ ^I guess either that cat has no name or Chapman is redundant^ @Or an ass,@ ::Goes over to a wall with tools on it, hits it, it opens like a door, walks through, RACHEL follows. Real cat slips in as door closes.::   
  
::in a very dark room, ~::singing::I've feeling tired, baby, of trying to hold back this feelin' for so long. And if you feel, like I feel honey, ohh come on! Let's get it on...~ CHAPMAN turns on a holographic communication with VISSER THREE. RACHEL and cat are behind CHAPMAN::   
  
CHAPMAN: ::bowing head:: Greetings, Visser.   
  
^Where's the whole greeting ritual thing?^  
  
~I feel so cheated.~  
  
@#*Us too.*#@  
  
VISSER THREE: You're late!   
  
^No, you're early.^  
  
CHAPMAN: My apologies, Visser. My hosts daughter was suspicious. These humans, frankly, I can't understand them. It won't happen again.   
  
@Ha, betcha tomorrow he shows up an hour off schedule.@  
  
VISSER THREE: It wouldn't happen at all if she were under Yeerk control.   
  
~There's those subtile hints again~  
  
@Subtle my ass!@  
  
CHAPMAN: Sir, with all due ^Dis^respect--   
  
VISSER THREE: Are you disagreeing with me?   
  
~Yes. Americans have this thing called "Freedom of Speech", they use it alot.~  
  
CHAPMAN: Oh, no, Visser. I-I didn't mean to--   
  
~Now now, don't lie.~  
  
VISSER THREE: Silence! The homing device operation was a fiasco. Our scientists have failed to unlock the disk. I want those Andalite bandits caught and the secret of the disk extracted from them. By force if necesary.   
  
~::Blinks:: It's a Matellica CD. All you need to do is put it in a cd player and press play.~  
  
@Yeesh, you Andalites can be so dumb Ax, some "high intellegent species."@  
  
#*The Visser is an exception.*#  
  
@Uh huh,@  
  
CHAPMAN: Oh, yes, Visser. I'm ::steps backwards onto a cat's tail. Looks up at V3:: Cat! ~^Third time^~  
  
@IT'S NAME IS MR. FLUFFLES!@  
  
~I thought it was Fluffer McKitty!~  
  
@::shrugs:: close enough.@  
VISSER THREE: ::looks over at where both cat and RACHEL are now sitting:: Your host has twin cats?   
  
@Doesn't everyone?@  
  
CHAPMAN: ::looks up at VISSER THREE in amazment:: Andalite! #*Don;t hurt yourself there Chapman,*# ^He has a thing for one word sentences.^ But, which one?   
  
VISSER THREE: No matter. Bring them both to me.   
  
CHAPMAN: ::walks towards cats:: C'mere. Yes, good kitty. ~HE DIDN'T SAY CAT!~ ::one jumps down::   
  
VISSER THREE: Yes! That's the one! Grab it!   
  
CHAPMAN: ::grabs cat, who's RACHEL:: Gotcha! ::walks back in front of VISSER THREE::   
  
^He grabbed the wrong cat.^  
  
~Umm wouldn't the real cat have stayed while Rachel jumped down?~  
  
VISSER THREE: When you bring that thing to me, bring your hosts' daughter along, I think it's time the girl joined us on our adventure, don't you? ::hologram blinks out::  
  
::cut to JAKE sneaking around outside CHAPMAN'S house. Looks around corner of hosue to see CHAPMAN bringing RACHEL in cat carrier to van::   
  
JAKE: ::when CHAPMAN starts van and starts to leave ^::Sings:: It's the little old lady from Pasadena! Go granny Go Granny Go granny go!^, he runs after it. Morphs homer::   
  
~Brilliance. Why not just say 'I'm human, fuck me over.'~  
  
#*Morphing right in the middle of the streetm, shame on you the "All Exaulted Leader."*#  
  
@I mean really,@  
  
CHAPMAN: ::approaches a huge house with a gate. Puts in a security code at a console near the gate:: Inuss two-two-six for Mr. Trent. ::red laser scans CHAPMAN'S ear, detects yeerk, allows him to pass. JAKE doesn't get through before gate closes, runs to fence and starts to dig under. CHAPMAN drives down a driveway with Hork-Bajir standing around. Carries RACHEL in cat carrier to courtyard, two men with flashlights come up next to him.::   
  
JAKE: ::digs all the way under fence and gets to other side::  
  
VISSER THREE: Inuss two-two-six.   
  
CHAPMAN: Visser Three.   
  
~WELL! Now that we've introduced ourselves...~  
  
VISSER THREE: ::tail whips forward quite slowly by Andalite standards and slices head off a statue:: #*Ha! No kidding! At least whoever transcripted this knew better,*# @Wow, don't be on this guys bad side.@ ^Andalites are supposed to be faster than that, can't they pull a DBZ with this?^ I hope that cage contains the Andalite, otherwise it will soon contain your head. ~^OFF WITH HIS HEAD!^~   
  
CHAPMAN: Yes, Visser. It does. ::brings carrier up to show V3::   
  
JAKE: ::demorphs in bushes and watches::  
  
~And does nothing to stop it, once again.~  
  
VISSER THREE: Good evening. Heh heh heh, my appearance disturbs you. @Yes.@ ::morphs human. Looks himself over::. An inferior form, this Victor Trent. @#*AHH! EVEN WORSE!*#@ But the man's wealth and power makes him a useful tool. ::takes RACHEL out of carrier:: Save yourself some pain, Andalite. Return to your real form and we will get on with your infestation.   
  
JAKE: ::whispers:: Hang in there, cousin.   
  
^It takes major guts to admit that someone as freaky as this... THING... posing as Rachel is an actual family   
member.^  
  
VISSER THREE: ::puts RACHEL back in carrier:: Your Andalite pride is as absurd as the shape you're in. Well, yo  
ur two hour time limit must almost be up. I shall wait one hour, then I will have you destroyed. Slowly. Take him away! ::looks up at CHAPMAN:: Now, onto our next piece of business, I believe you have something else that belongs to me?   
  
@Yeah, my blow-up doll@  
  
#::blushes, strangely his nose begins to bleed::#  
  
@Muahaha@   
  
CHAPMAN: I...I...   
  
VISSER THREE: Let me refresh your memory. You brought your hosts' daughter, now go and get her.   
  
CHAPMAN: I...   
  
VISSER THREE: Is there some problem? ::yelling:: Bring me, the girl!   
  
~Two words: Anger Management~  
  
CHAPMAN:I...   
  
VISSER THREE: You're starting to bore me, Inuss two-two-six, and let me tell you this, if you dont' like me when I'm angry, you're going to hate me when I'm bored.   
  
JAKE: ::comes up in Homer morph and bites VISSER THREE, knocking him to the ground, runs to RACHEL, dodging controllers.::  
  
VISSER THREE: It's another Andalite! Catch it!   
  
JAKE: Rachel!   
  
RACHEL: Jake! Watch out!   
  
JAKE: ::controllers come and put a rope around his neck:: Rachel, they got me!   
  
~Sadly, he doesn't look dead to me.~  
  
@Awwww,@  
  
RACHEL: Jake? I'm sorry.   
  
@You should be dammit!@  
  
JAKE: Don't worry. We're gonna get out of this ::controller ties him to a bench::   
  
^And that is about as exciting as yeerk bondage gets.^  
  
#::from the bathroom:: *That's scary*#  
  
VISSER THREE: ::looks at CHAPMAN:: Now, two-two-six, I've had enough of your foolishness. ::walks away with CHAPMAN following behind::   
  
RACHEL: ::trying to get paws through bars:: It's no use! I can't open it!   
  
~No duh you dumb whore.~  
  
@She's a true blond@  
  
VISSER THREE: ::looking in CHAPMAN'S car window:: Where is she? Where is the girl?   
  
CHAPMAN: That's what I was trying to tell you, Visser. Chapman, my host, volunteered for infestation under one condition, that his daughter be left alone.   
  
VISSER THREE: ::steps right in front of CHAPMAN:: WHAT?! You struck a deal with one of these primate low lifes? ~^Heeeeeeeeey........................... no need for name calling, ya' dickhead.^~ We are Yeerks! NOT used-car salesman! ~Had me fooled, right Aquatta?~ @Oh yeah.@ We do not negotiate with these creatures. ^Okay, now he's staring to sound like AG talking about the people that go to her school.^ Understood?! ::walks away:: @::makes face:: aww now we all big an' bad an' shit? Kisama,@  
  
CHAPMAN: ::looks after VISSER THREE:: No!   
  
VISSER THREE: ::turns around:: What did you say?   
  
CHAPMAN: NO!!! ::runs at VISSER THREE, knocks him down. ^Ax is right about one thing, humans are unstable creatures^ #*Damn straight,*# ~Mentally or physically.~ ^ the case of you and Aquatta? Both.^   
@HEY! GRRR.....@ Other controllers run to help V3::   
  
RACHEL: Jake! Now's our chance! My two hours are almost up!   
  
JAKE: ::starts to pull at rope::   
  
RACHEL: What're you doing?   
  
JAKE: I'm gonna get this off   
  
CHAPMAN: ::pulled off VISSER THREE by controllers:: LEAVE MY DAUGHTER ALONE!   
  
VISSER THREE: Hold him still.   
  
CHAPMAN: NO!   
  
VISSER THREE: ::puts hand over CHAPMANS face:: Regain your host, Inuss two-two-six, ::CHAPMAN shakes head 'no'::   
  
@What is this, the freakin Vulcan Mind Meld?@  
  
RACHEL: ::JAKE'S still pulling at rope:: Hurry, Jake!   
  
VISSER THREE: That, is an order. Regain. Your. Host.   
  
JAKE: ::breaks rope, runs to RACHEL'S cage, starts pulling at door::   
  
RACHEL: That's it!   
  
CHAPMAN: Yes. Yes, Visser.   
  
@If someone just read that, that would sound really, really bad,@  
  
#*Echi,*#  
  
@What?@  
  
VISSER THREE: ::Realeases CHAPMAN, gently pats him on the cheek:: ^I knew Visser Three infested a mafia lacky.^  
  
@LOL@  
  
RACHEL: ::JAKE pulls door open, she runs out:: Alright, Jake!   
  
JAKE: Let's go, run!   
  
VISSER THREE: Now, as for the Andalites...::looks back and sees JAKE and RACHEL running:: NO!!! ::turns to controllers:: Get them! I want them alive!   
  
@Oh for Goddess' sake kill the bastards!@  
  
JAKE: C'mon, Rachel! Move!   
  
RACHEL: I'm right behind you!   
  
JAKE: We're getting closer, let's go, hurry up!   
  
RACHEL: I'm going as fast as I can!   
  
~Oh my. If you didn't know what was going on as Jake and Rachel's roles were reversed, oh my god.......~   
  
JAKE: C'mon, this way! They're right behind us, watch out! ::a controller fires a flashlight/dracon beam, hits a tree::   
  
^They're shooting flashlights at us!^  
  
~^::Look at eachother and giggle::^~  
  
@Heehee@  
  
#*I don't get it,*#  
  
@S'all right, nose okay?@  
  
#*I think so,*#  
  
@Just be careful when you run into the bathroom, I think Daisuke-kun and Ken-kun were using it the other day,@  
  
#::another nosebleed starts, runs to the bathroom::#  
  
@Evil giggle@  
  
TOBIAS: ::swoops down on controllers::   
  
~BIIIIIIIIIRRD MAAAAANNN!~  
  
JAKE: ::slides out under hole in the fence, RACHEL right behind::   
  
::back to CHAPMAN and VISSER THREE::  
  
VISSER THREE: ::looks at CHAPMAN:: Bring me the girl. Now.   
  
CHAPMAN: May I make a suggestion, Visser?   
  
VISSER THREE: Make it good, Inuss two-two-six.   
  
CHAPMAN: Infesting the girl would only anger my host again. He could jepordize the secrecy of our mission. And if I may, her small size could ^Only be of use for releaving sexual fustration.^ @Ewww,@ be of little--   
  
VISSER THREE:Enough. You've made your point. Alright, the Chapman girl shall remaind un-infested. For now, Inuss two-two-six, for now. ::to other controllers:: With me!   
  
~^@::As a group of controllers, punching the air with their fists:: YEAH!@^~  
  
@Hey Ax, are you allright?@  
  
::cut to RACHEL and JAKE walking through woods. TOBIAS is on JAKE'S arm::   
  
RACHEL: Wow, Melissa's dad went through all that to protect her.   
  
JAKE: Sounds like she's going to be okay.   
  
@Well she's in better hands than the world right now,@  
  
#*Why do you say that?*#  
  
@These guys are the ones sdaving the world.@  
  
~^#*Oh. We're doomed.*#^~  
  
@Exactly.@  
  
  
RACHEL: I'm sorry I got you guys into this mess. ::takes piece of rope off from around JAKE'S neck ~Can't let Cassie know you're into bondage or she'll become out of control.~:: It's my fault and I don't blame you if you're mad.   
  
JAKE: Mad? I'm not mad ^He's seething and furious.^ ~But not mad.~, Tobias, are you mad?   
  
TOBIAS: I'm impressed.   
  
~He lies.~  
  
@Like a dog!@  
  
JAKE: What you did took major guts.   
  
^I can see her liver!^  
  
@#*Ewww,*#@  
  
RACHEL: Thanks, but you guys helped.   
  
JAKE: Well, what are friends for if they can't rescue you from evil space slugs? ::all giggle::   
  
~Let's see, MiSTing tacky shows with you, maybe?~  
  
^Saving you from being lame-asses?^  
  
@For these sorry souls, too late. Only their book-selfs were   
salvagable. ::grins::@  
  
#*Hey! We're not that bad!*#  
  
@::grins:: eyah because we saved you guys from being lame. ::ducks a   
swipe at her head::@  
  
RACHEL: Well, it wasn't a total loss. We definetly know the yeerks have Elfangor's disk and don't know how to work it. They think we do.   
  
~Which is just stupidity on their part!~   
  
^It's just a CD, you put it in the CD Player and push PLAY!^  
  
~It's not that hard!!!~  
  
#*Yeah really,*#  
  
@And people tell me I'm dumb,@  
  
JAKE: Then they're in for a long wait. I'll see you guys tomorrow. ::TOBIAS hops over to RACHEL'S arm::  
  
RACHEL:Goodnight, cuz.   
  
^Tacky 80's slang users are on the move!^  
  
~HEY! I USE 80's SLANG TOOO, YA' KNOW!!!~  
  
@YEAH! BACK OFF MARCO!@  
  
#*What's slang?*#  
  
@I'll explain later,@  
  
JAKE: Goodnight, Rach.   
  
TOBIAS: Later.   
  
RACHEL: Are you okay?   
  
TOBIAS: Yeah. It's not so bad being a bird. No school, no homework, no curfew. ~^No sex life.^~ @::snicker::@  
  
RACHEL: Remember that picture my sister took of us? ::flashes of SARA taking the picture of RACHEL and TOBIAS. RACHEL gets picture out of her pocket::  
  
TOBIAS: Don't! Don't show it to me.   
  
~Take it easy, it's just your school ID.~  
  
@No, he's complaining because it's bad enough he has to look Rachel in   
the face,@  
  
RACHEL: No, I think you should look at it. ::holds picture where TOBIAS can see it:: The guy in that picture is still you, and we're going to get him back. Inside your hawk's body, Tobias still exists. Don't ever forget that, okay?   
  
^We need SOME hope of her getting laid, maybe then she won't be as STUPID as she is now.^  
  
~Maybe, but you know it's never gonna happen.~  
  
@It won't. She may be blond, but that just may be her problem.@  
  
TOBIAS: Maybe I want to forget it.   
  
^He has more teenage angst than Matt from first season Digimon.^  
  
~Don't tell Matt that. He sensitive about such things.~  
  
&YEAH!&  
  
@Matero go back to your room!@  
  
RACHEL: ::sighs:: Goodnight, Tobias.   
  
TOBIAS: ::flys off::   
  
RACHEL: ::whispering:: Goodnight, Tobias.   
  
~That scene was brought to you by the Department of Redundacy Department~  
  
::next day at school::   
  
^~@AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SCENE CHANGE!@~^  
  
MELISSA: ::runs up stairs, gets a notebook out of her backpack. RACHEL, who's coming down another flight of stairs, sees her and stops. A note falls out of MELISSA'S notebook. She reads it. ~If it's Sap, I'm going to beg for my death.~ ^Ditto.^ @Yeah@ #*Sap?*# @Read any of my digimon yaoi@ It says: 'Melissa Your father loves you more than you know, only he can't show it. A Friend.'::   
  
^~TAKE US NOW, LORD!~^  
  
@::sighs:: Oh stop being such a wuss, you know she's starting to remind   
me of those damn people who flame me but don't have the balls to leave their   
email so I can justify myself!@  
  
#*Referring to GW AGAIN?*#  
  
@::blushes and sweatdrops:: No....@  
  
RACHEL: Melissa! ::runs down stairs to meet her:: Hey.   
  
MELISSA: Wanna walk home?   
  
RACHEL: Yeah.  
  
~::singing:: Baby won't you walk me home. I don't wanna go away alone.~  
  
^GAH! NO MANDY MOORE!^  
  
~Why not?~  
  
^She is not to be wasted on such trash like those two!^  
  
~Fair enough.~  
  
@I will not comment, I will not comment,@  
  
RACHEL VO: I know I probably shouldn't have written that note. ~It made me ill writing it so maybe it was a very bad move.~ Jake would say it's too risky. Marco, would just say it's sappy. ^And he'd be right!^ ~for once~ ^What's THAT supposed to mean?!^ @#::snickers::#@ But Melissa's dad gave up everything to save her from becoming a controller. ~Funny, they don't LOOK poor, homeless, or like druggies to me... maybe with the exception of that last one...~ And even if she never knows the truth, at least she knows he loves her. Isn't that what we're really fighting for anyway? For the people we love. ~Which is why he's on the Bad Guy's side?~ And that's why someday, we'll win.   
  
~Actully, this is the reason you're show got CANCELED!~  
  
~^::Laughs evilly::^~  
  
  
@::rolls eyes:: oh Goddess is that even the corniest ending! Jeez!@ 


	6. Episode Six

AniTV Episode 9: "The Reaction" MiST  
  
^KWAHHH!^  
  
~BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA! We have returned for yet another AniTV MiST!~  
  
@I'm ready for this one! I've been taking some humor lessons from   
Daisuke-kun,@  
  
*Oh by the Goddess, and Ax since when did YOU refer to him as   
Daisuke-kun? That's a privilage for me and Ken-kun only...unless...*  
  
^This is why you have no life, AG.^  
  
~::Grumbles:: Bite me.~  
  
*Yeah Marco, bite her. Never knew you were a vampire.*  
  
@Must I be the normal one?@  
  
*Yeah, a blue and tan centaur with no mouth and four eyes is normal.*  
  
^Whatever. You know the drill, AniTV isn't ours, la la la, neither are the stuff we refer too, unless stated otherwise, blahdedadede blahdedadeda, if you sue all you'll get are some moths and pocket lint, blah blah blah, flames will be used for smores ect. ect.^  
  
*Yeah, anyone trying to take my First Contacdt or my Jar Jar poster   
will die, so it's useless to sue me. And all you'll get from Ax is a copy of   
PlayAndalite,*  
  
@WHAT?!?@  
  
* ::grins:: muahahahaha*  
  
~::Blinks:: That was beautiful, really.~  
  
^Shut up.^  
  
~Once again, this MiST Features..... DOLPHINA MOONBEAM! Previously known as Aquatta!~  
  
*Thankyou thank you, I know you all love me.*  
@No we don't.@  
  
*::pouts:: AG-chan wuvs me! ::looks to AG with chibi-eyes:: Don'tcha?*  
  
~Of course I do!~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"The Reaction"  
  
~Wooooooooooo. The ever imposing title.~  
  
^I'm scared! Not.^  
  
CASSIE VO: Morphing has certain rules we have to follow. ~Rules are ment to be broken!~ ^I thought this was supposed to be a Rachel book.^ @Whoopitie do,@ Like never stay in a morph for more than two hours. That's what happened to Tobias, he's trapped in the morph of a hawk. ~He also doesn't have to go to school. See, there's an upside to these things.~ Another rule: You can't morph from one animal to another. ^That bites ass.^ @Always did, always   
will. I was hoping to become a scientist to fix that, but no, it was "You have   
to be like Elfangor Ax. Be a Prince like youer big brother Ax."@ *Okay okay,   
no silbing comparissions alrighty?* So far the rules have helped us control our morphing powers, but sometimes a morph can have a mind of it's own.   
  
*That's why there's something called CONTROL Cassie dearest. That's   
what you need to stay out of Jakes bed as well.*  
  
RACHEL: ::CASSIE is watching crocodiles, RACHEL comes up to her.:: You know, I love field trips, but they really should the entire day.  
  
~::blinks:: You mean they aren't, in Canada? Geez, they get all the good anime, but they don't get full day feild trips? CANADA SUCKS!~  
  
*That's why we live in the USA. Hey, but we get good anime too! We got   
Cowboy Bebop! btw, I claim Spike.*  
  
~NO! SKANK!~  
  
^SHHHH! The Candains will her you and get offended! ::blinks:: I knew I forgot something. Some jokes here you may find perverted or offsive, but that's why these things are fun and funny.^   
  
@Yeah, so lighten up.@  
  
ETHAN: Yeah, these half day field trips mess with our heads. Just when you start to get a taste of freedom, you're back on the bus ::RACHEL and CASSIE nod in agreement::   
  
~^*::Blink:: Ethan???? Who's Ethan?????*^~  
  
@Oh God you all talked at the same time! freaky!@  
  
RACHEL: ::watching still crocs:: These crocodiles might as well be fake.   
  
~What? Like you hair color?!~  
  
^I don't know who she's trying to fool but that hair came right outta a bottle!^  
  
ETHAN: Yeah, let's check out the tigers. They're real. ::he,RACHEL and CASSIE leave::   
  
~No they aren't. They're mechanical. The Crocs are made of rubber...~  
  
^And Brook's brain is made of air!^  
  
*Tell us something we don't know.*  
  
::a little boy climbs over the fence into the croc area::  
  
~::blinks:: Okay, You know, if little boys can climb into the croc pit, the zoo should be sued for improper containment of animals, thus leading to animal cruelty should this like this happen.~  
  
^Oooh, AG's a big shit, she's sounding all grown up.....^  
  
~Shut up, poof-boy.~  
  
^That's Marc, not me. Shamless Promo, Read Alternatia.^  
  
@AHH! THE EVIL FIC! ::glares at AG:: Who gave you the idea for that   
weird fic anyhow?!@  
  
RACHEL: ::watching tigers:: You know, I'm glad that they're in there and we're out here.   
  
~Rachel, you have truely achived a higher level of dumbassness!~  
  
CASSIE: ::hears people talking ~^Screaming^~,looks over to where boy has climbed into croc pit:: Hey,look ::all three run back over to croc area:: Is that kid nuts?   
  
@^Must be related to Rachel.^@  
  
RACHEL: Ethan, go get help ::ETHAN leaves::   
  
~Sure. Send the CUTE one to do you're evil bidding SATAN!~  
  
CASSIE: ::climbs into croc area::  
  
RACHEL: What're you doing?   
  
~I wanna go on JACKASS!~  
  
^I thought you don't watch MTV.^  
  
~I don't. But Choas does. Yes True blue AquaianGoddess fans. Choas really DOES exsist! ~  
  
^And AG is the Real Life Neko!^  
  
*I sense trouble,*  
  
%::Choas walks in:: Hey Neko!%  
  
^AHH! He does exsist!^  
  
%They do exsist.%  
  
^::faints::^  
  
%::backs away slowly:: I'll come back later.%  
  
~BYE!~  
  
*::blinks, looks at everyone:: Okay I need an explanation NOW!*  
  
CASSIE: ::taking kid by shoulder:: Hey, Kid, it's not safe in here. C'mon, let's get to the other side of the fence.  
  
^::recovered:: As if THAT will save you.^  
  
RACHEL: ::in croc area:: Okay, let's quit messing around. Let's get out of here.   
  
~::snorts:: Yeah, the security cameras might have caught them haveing sex in there before.~  
  
*Oh, bad thought bad thought...*  
  
CASSIE: ::backing up:: Okay, real slow, okay? ::as they're backing up, a croc comes up behind them so they're surrounded:: *I've seen crocs move before and unless they're in the water they do NOT move that fast.* ~COPPERS!~  
  
^I don't get it.^  
  
~You don't have to.~  
  
::Theme Song interupts here::  
  
~^::Singing:: The world is a vampire, dernernernerner, Sent to drain! Secret Destroyers, hold you up to the pain!^~  
  
*Hey, I hapen to like the theme song, allright?*  
  
RACHEL: What do we do now?   
  
~We sing the doom song! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom~  
  
^SHUT UP!^  
  
CASSIE: Okay, okay, ~I'll sing Britney Spears! Geez, no need to get testy about it.~ @*NOOOOOOO!!!!! AHHH BANAISH THE EVIL ONE!!*@ *You destroy me. ::passes out::* when I count to three, you guys make a break for that fence over there.   
  
RACHEL: What are you gonna do?   
  
~I'm gonna....~  
  
^La la la lick you from your head to your toes, and we'll move from the bed down to the down to the floor.^  
  
~DOWN MARCO! Bad!~  
  
@::blinks:: That was disturbing. At least I know whose bedroom that   
comes from now. I thought it was Duotre and Matero.@  
*::wakes up:: No, they sing "I'm Too Sexy" and "I Wanna Sex You Up."   
Why did I lend them that old tape anyhow?*  
  
CASSIE: Acquire it's DNA, the trance should buy us some time. When I count to three, okay? One...Two...Three! ::on three, RACHEL and the kid run for fence while CASSIE leaps forward and grabs the tail of the croc that's chasing RACHEL and kid::  
  
~And then she let it go as a joke and it ate all three of them. THE END!~   
  
@YAY!@  
  
RACHEL: ::just handed kid over fence:: Cassie, get out of there, now! ::climbs over fence::  
  
CASSIE: ::holds onto the croc for a second more, lets go and climbs out::   
  
RACHEL:Are you alright?   
  
^I'm JUST DANDY!^  
  
~Okay Zechs. Sorry I asked.~  
  
*Zechs? I thought we locked up the Gundam boys,*  
  
CASSIE: Yeah. That was way to close.   
  
RACHEL: Way   
  
~No Way.~  
  
^WAY!^  
  
~^SHWING! ::fall on the floor laughing::^~  
  
ETHAN:What's goin' on?   
  
~Nothing. Just going insane.~  
  
@*Got that right.*@  
  
RACHEL: Oh, uh, nothing. Just the average field trip.   
  
^We just saved some little boy.^  
  
~::As Cassie: Ahem, We? Who's We?~  
  
CASSIE:Yeah, average.   
  
::cut to VISSER THREE (in human morph) flipping through TV channels. First an explosion, then a car/truck/tire comercial, TV show::   
  
~Damn it. When is 'Saddam Hussian Living' gonna be on? I wanna know how to decorate my house with explosives!~  
  
^And then he put it on AniTV and died of shock.^  
  
VISSER THREE:What to humans find so entertaining about this continuous barrage of pictures?   
  
~Actually Visser, it's a barrage of tiny colored dots flashing and rapid speeds. I thought you knew~  
  
TOM:It's the primary source of information and entertainment.   
  
^Mostly used for ordering porn.^  
  
VISSER THREE:Well they crave it as if their very lives depended on it. ~^DO NOT! It's the Shows we crave, not the TV itself!^~ *Come off it you two, we all know it's the anime. Muahah.* ::turns to TOM:: Why haven't we made use of this weapon?   
  
~Because we're SHTOOPID!~  
  
^And you became German when?^  
  
TOM: Actually, that's why we're watching. We've succeded in getting Jason McCole on a popular talk show. ::points to TV, which is showing an interview of Jason McCole:: There he is there.   
  
~::snorts:: Can we say Johnathan Taylor Tomas? Remember him?~  
  
^That guy from Home Improvement? Yeah. Dude I don't know WHAT people saw in him, but whatever.^  
  
~I never liked him.~   
  
VISSER THREE:Why him?   
  
TOM:Jason John McCole. He's extremely popular with human females. Everyone of them knows his face, and his name. He's what they call 'a star.'   
  
~Actually, he's what we call someone who because famous based entirely on sex appeal. Not many people know that he was a child porn star.~  
  
*ouch.*  
  
VISSER THREE: Yes. Our solution to the declining membership in The Sharing.   
  
TOM:He'll be on Larry and Linda Live talking about the benefits of The Sharing.   
  
~^::Blinks:: Larry and Linda? They mean Regis and Kathy Lee. ::Gags::^~  
  
*AHHHH! THE EVIL "R" WORD! ::gasps and passes out again::*  
  
@When she wakes up I'm going to hit her with my tailblade, she may as   
well be unconscious for this entire thing. Any objections?@  
  
VISSER THREE:Excellent. ::TOM leaves:: Finally. Televsion worth watching.   
  
~Ummm, no.~  
  
::cut to CASSIE and RACHEL in the barn::  
  
RACHEL:What's wrong with you?   
  
CASSIE: I don't know. Maybe I'm alergic to something.   
  
RACHEL: Do you feel okay? You look sick.   
  
~I knew I shouldn't have... MMMMMFFFT!~  
  
^I know that you're going to "suck Jake off", so don't!^  
  
~I don't have to. You said it for me!~  
  
*I'm so gonna stay out of that web.*  
  
CASSIE: I know. My stomache's been hurting since the zoo. ::bends down to get feed or something, phone rings, ~And she throws out her back!~ *::cringes:: That is not very funny, throwing your back out sucks.* goes over and answers it:: Hello? This is she... Uh-huh...   
  
@First sign of insanity is talking to yourself.@  
  
*Hmm? Oh, yeah, right, uh huh, you're right I should learn some sort of   
sleeper hold on my brother...*  
  
@See?@  
  
RACHEL:What?   
  
CASSIE: ::shakes head at RACHEL:: That's right...No, it was nothing...   
  
RACHEL:Who is it?   
  
*IT'S THE EVIL TOKOMONS!!! ARGH! (ps the evil tokomons belong to the   
LTOI)*  
  
CASSIE:Thank you...We'd love to! Yeah...four o'clock. We'll be there! ::hangs up::  
  
RACHEL:What was that about?   
  
CASSIE: That was Larry and Linda Live! They heard about us saving the boy at the zoo today and they want us on their show tomorrow!   
  
~^DUMB ASS^~  
  
~Rachel didn't do SHIT! It should just be CASSIE!~  
  
RACHEL:Oh! ::saunters away like a movie star:: Our 15 minutes of fame!   
  
^::As Cassie:: MY 15 MINUTES OF FAME YOU MEAN!^   
  
CASSIE: Exactly. But there's two of us, that means we get a half an hour ~::snorts:: Self absorbed, much?~ ::goes back to work::  
  
RACHEL: Naturally.   
  
CASSIE: ::scooping what looks to be rabbit food out of a bag, her hands start getting scaly. Gasps::   
  
~I'M NEVER EATING SALAD AGAIN!~  
  
@Damn girl use hand lotion!@  
  
RACHEL: What?   
  
CASSIE: ::concentrates. Hand turns back to normal:: Nothing. Just...excited.   
  
^The first step towards healing. Denial.^  
  
::cut to RACHEL, CASSIE, JAKE and MARCO at Cyberia (internet cafe) RACHEL is at one comp, MARCO at another. JAKE's next to MARCO, CASSIE'S standing in front of JAKE::  
  
~::twitchs:: DAMN CANADIANS! I WANT A CYBER CAFE IN MY MALL TOO!~  
  
^But can't you just go to the Starbucks in Manhatten and use the laptops they have?^  
  
~Bite me.~  
  
*They do?!? AX! Get me train tickets to Manhattan! NOW!*  
  
@What money will you use for the trip?@  
  
*Erm, my college tuition?*  
  
@Beep, wrong answer.@  
  
*Bite me.*  
  
@I don't have teeth.@  
  
JAKE: What were you two thinking? What if you'd had to morph?   
  
~What if I needed to get laid, hm?~  
  
*Looks like he'll have to depend on Marco for that then.*  
  
CASSIE: We didn't have to,the acquiring trance was enough.   
  
MARCO: Well, if you ask me, it was pretty stupid. All people saw was Cassie looking like she was mind melding with a reptile.   
  
~That's no way to talk about Rachel, Marco!~  
  
*Marco you Trek freak!*  
  
@Oh? And what about you? You have Spock locked in my room.@  
  
*::glares:: You are being quite mouthy tonight.*  
  
JAKE: How weird could that be?   
  
*Very weird considering usually he gets nosebleeds first.*  
  
CASSIE: Marco, stop trying to help in this.   
  
*But I'm Dolphina,*  
  
^He's helping?^  
  
JAKE: We have to consider the risks before jumping into a snake pit.   
  
~::singing:: Snake, snake..... One more button undone.~  
  
@*::blinks::*@  
  
MARCO: ::looks up from typing:: Crocodile.   
  
~Because you looked it up on the internet, right Marky Mark?~  
  
^I refuse to believe that they are the Canadian Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.^  
  
*::singing:: Got the good virbrations! Such a sweet sensation!*  
  
@Are those even the right words?@  
  
*You got me, I haven't heard him since I was in elementary school.   
::blinks:: I FEEL OLD!!!!!*  
  
JAKE: ::Exasperated:: Whatever. And now you're gonna be on TV.   
  
~^OHHH! BIG WORD!^~  
  
CASSIE: We didn't ask for this. But I think if we have the chance to save one person or a million we should.   
  
*Well it's clearly too late for you.*  
  
JAKE: It's not always gonna be that simple.   
  
RACHEL: ::looking up from computer screen:: Cassie, come look at this!   
::CASSIE sits next to her.::   
  
CASSIE:What'd you find?   
  
RACHEL: ~PORN!~ The Official webpage of Larry and Linda Live. Look at this: ::reads from screen:: A run down of upcoming shows and guests, including tomorrow's show and... *Two freaky girls who mind meld with animals at a local zoo!*  
  
CASSIE:That's us! *See?* Look at this, ::reads from screen:: Today at City Zoo, a young boy was saved from the jaws of a hungry crocodile. We'll speak with two teen girls who came to his rescue! @But unfortunately, since they are unhygienic the crocodile refused to eat them.@ *And Centaur Boy grabs a sense of humor.* We actually made the webpage!   
  
JAKE: ::looks disgusted::  
  
*I would too if I had that girl as a cousin,*  
  
MARCO: ::offers JAKE a nacho:: Nacho? ::JAKE declines::   
  
~Jake does not know the symbolism of that Nacho. In offering Jake a nacho, Marco was offering himself.~  
  
^I think you need help.^   
  
*@Me too.@*  
  
RACHEL:Oh, they also have Bart Jacobs, the animal guy.   
  
~HEY?! WHY NOT STEVE IRWIN?!~  
  
*::smirks:: cause Canada sucks remember?*  
  
CASSIE: We should feel right at home.   
  
RACHEL: ::staring intently at comp screen:: Oh, wow!   
  
~HE IS HUNG LIKE A HORSE! ::whistles::~  
  
^I feel so dirty.....^  
  
@::nosebleed begins, but he brought tissues so it's allright.::@  
  
CASSIE: What is it?   
  
*::as Cassie's thoughts:: Please God let it be a naked picture of   
Jake...*  
  
@And I thought Daisuke was bad...@  
  
RACHEL: ::scrolls down screen::  
  
CASSIE: That's Jason John McCole...   
  
RACHEL:And he's going to be on the same show.   
  
CASSIE/RACHEL: ::in unison:: JASON JOHN MCCOLE!!!   
  
~^AHH! FANGIRLS FROM HELL! RUN BOYS RUN!!^~  
  
*I'm gonna be sick,*  
  
RACHEL: ::calms down:: Okay, let's act our age here. ~but you are!~ ::looks down:: Cassie? ::CASSIE looks at her:: Your arm.   
  
^Cassie has a bad case of dry skin^  
  
CASSIE: ::looks down, her arm is goin' croc again, gasps::  
  
RACHEL: What're you doing?   
  
CASSIE: I'm not doing anything! ::concentrates, arm goes back to normal::   
  
JAKE: ::puts a hand on CASSIE'S shoulder, she jumps:: Guys, take it easy, it's just me. What's the big deal?   
  
*LIAR! YOU'RE NOT JAKE! DAMMIT LUCAS KEEP THE CLONE WARS IN YOUR OWN   
DAMN MOVIE! IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY MADE UP BY OZ!!!*  
  
@::blinks:: I am speechless.@  
  
  
  
CASSIE: uh...   
  
@And so it Cassie apparently.@  
  
RACHEL: ::turns comp monitor so JAKE can see it ^::as Jake:: Whoa..... you're right. He IS hung like a horse. Wow!^:: Jason John McCole is going to be on the same show as us.   
  
JAKE: So...?   
  
RACHEL:So he's the cutest guy on TV!   
  
JAKE:As cute as I am? ::CASSIE and RACHEL exchange a look ~and then burst into laughter which causes them to spotaniously combust~:: I guess not. ::turns back to MARCO:: Hey, Marco. The girls are gonna be on that show with Jason McCole. ::turns monitor so he can see better:: Who is this clown, anyway?   
  
RACHEL: Jake, Jake, Jake, just admit that you're jealous that Cassie and I are going to be on TV with a gorgeous movie star.   
  
JAKE: Did anybody read the fine print?   
  
CASSIE: What're you talking about?   
  
~The teeny tiny little print that no one is able to read.~  
  
JAKE: I'm talking about what Jason McCole's gonna be talking about on the show tomorow.   
  
CASSIE: His new movie?   
  
JAKE: ::shakes head:: Nope.   
  
CASSIE: ::reading:: Jason McCole will be discussing the benefits of a new organization called...The Sharing. ::she and RACHEL look disgusted::  
  
MARCO: ::coming over from his comp:: Well. Do those benefits come before, or after they infest you with a slimy gross slug?   
  
~Don't talk about yourselves that way, it's bad for your already low self-esteem.~  
  
CASSIE: It's a good plan. Alot of people will be signing up to join The Sharing if Jason McCole is involved.   
  
RACHEL: Do you think they got Jason?   
  
^You're on a first name basis now? You haven't even met the guy.^  
  
JAKE: We need a plan. ::he and MARCO go back to their comp::  
  
~And proceed to look at MORE porn~  
  
CASSIE: Jason McCole and Visser Three, I can't believe it.   
  
~OH MY GOD! THEY'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER?!~  
  
^That's just gross.^  
  
*Eww, ::shudders::*  
  
RACHEL: At least we're on the same show. That way we can get to him before the yeerks do.   
  
CASSIE: What if he's already a controller?   
  
RACHEL: ::shrugs:: *He's a lost cause, kill him!* Then we'll have to save him some other way.   
  
CASSIE: Listen, that weird morphing thing. I don't want it to get in the way of saving Jason.   
  
RACHEL: Maybe we could talk to Ax later? He'd know what to do.   
  
CASSIE: I've gotta go so...meet you at the barn later?   
  
RACHEL: ::nods::   
  
::cut to CASSIE at a bookstore or library. She finds a book on Reptiles and opens to the info on Crocodiles::   
  
^GAAH! Attack of the over obvious!^  
  
~You mean like the supposed rape of Macky by Nigil?~  
  
^Yeah. Like that.^  
  
*::blinks:: Someone has some more explaining to do...*  
  
TOM: Cassie? ::CASSIE turns around quick:: I thought that was you.   
  
CASSIE: Tom! What's up?   
  
TOM: Not Much. How're you?   
  
CASSIE: Fine. Good. ::crock spikes start popping up under her shirt, she backs up agains a shelf of books::  
  
TOM:Something wrong, Cassie?   
  
~Nope. I'm just gonna turn into a croc and EAT YOU!~  
  
^::snickers:: Cassie's turned into Fat Bastard.^  
  
CASSIE:No, nothing.   
  
TOM: ::starts looking at books:: You and my brother been hanging out alot lately, huh?   
  
CASSIE: We have?   
  
TOM: Yeah.  
  
@::as Tom::Yeah, you know you two make a lot of racket at night, maybe   
you wanna tone down those catcalls.@  
  
CASSIE: ::hands start turnin' croc::   
  
TOM: You like him?  
  
CASSIE: Yeah! ::TOM smiles:: I mean, uh, no. He's cool.   
  
~HAH! Liar.~  
  
TOM: Heard about what you guys did today.   
  
CASSIE: What do you mean?   
  
TOM: Jumping into that cage, saving that kid today. You and Rachel are quite the local heroes.   
  
CASSIE: Rachel's the real hero. I just did what anyone else would have done.   
  
TOM: You, maybe. But Rachel? I was a bit surprised...   
  
*::blinks:: I'm confused, Cassie was the one who risked her life by   
jumping into the croc pit, she gives Rachel the credit, Rachel's also supossed   
to be like the kamikaze here and Tom's surprised? ::hold head:: ARGH! I'M ALL   
CONFUZZLED!!!*  
  
CASSIE: ::leans back and knocks a bunch of books to the floor, looks back behind her:: Hey! ::turns back to TOM:: Kids.   
  
TOM: You sure you're okay?   
  
CASSIE: Fine.   
  
@Just constipated.@  
  
TOM: I'll catch ya' later, huh?   
  
CASSIE: Yeah, later. ::hear the croc spikes going away::   
  
::RACHEL, JAKE, MARCO and AX in the barn::  
  
RACHEL: Cassie and I will check in as scheduled at Six P.M.   
  
JAKE: ::holding a whiteboard with what looks like a map on it:: Cool. Marco, Ax and I will meet you two at the studio. That's where we'll throw the switch.   
  
AX: Switch...switch...   
  
~Tv Remote control... Ax is going into withdrawl.~  
  
@Honestly, they really couldn't get anyone better than him?@  
  
MARCO: ::holding imaginary microphone:: We're sorry, Larry and Linda Live will not be seen today so we can bring you the following special program.   
  
TOBIAS: The Yeerk Files.   
  
MARCO: And the bird-boy grabs a sense of humor.   
  
@Ooo, freaky, didn't you just say something like that to me earlier   
Dolphina?@  
  
*::starts to shake as if she'll explode::*  
  
~He shoots and misses.~  
  
CASSIE: ::walks in and to AX, whispers:: Ax, I need to talk to you for a sec.   
  
JAKE: Everything okay?   
  
CASSIE: No! *::as Cassie:: I forgot the condoms!* @You're scaring   
me.@ I mean, yes. It's nothing, Jake. I just need to speak to Ax for a second, Okay? ::she suddenly gasps in pain and grabs a wall to keep standing::  
  
~I wanna know if he's HIV Positive.~  
  
^Ouch.^  
  
JAKE: Cassie?   
  
CASSIE: ::doubles over in pain and stumbles into empty stall, others run over to see what's wrong while CASSIE starts goin' totally croc, then back to human again. She stands up, then quickly goes back to croc, then back to human::   
  
AX: ::goes over to CASSIE::   
  
MARCO: Houston? We have a problem.   
  
*Yeah, so do we apparently. She;s a human not an astronaut.*  
  
@Bad joke Dolphi,@  
  
*So sue me it's late.*  
  
AX: ::helps CASSIE up:: Relax, Cassie. Try to remain calm. You must sit down. ::walks her over to a stool and sits her down::  
  
MARCO: What, was that?   
  
AX:Allergy. I have seen this before.   
  
JAKE: ::walks over to AX and CASSIE:: Like to pollen or dust?   
  
AX: Yes, except this is an allergy to a morph. It happens from time to time. In this case, she's allergic to the morph of the creature we just saw.   
  
RACHEL:That makes sense, it was the last morph she acquired.   
  
*Something makes sense to Brook? Who wants to take bets she's lying?*  
  
TOBIAS: is there some kind of medicine for it?   
  
AX: No medicine. But, there is a process that occurs naturally with these cases. Hereth Illint   
  
JAKE: And in English that means...?   
  
AX: Burping DNA.   
  
RACHEL: I like the Andalite word better.   
  
@*Me too,*@  
  
AX: It means that eventually Cassie's body will release the rejected DNA in the form of the animal acquired.  
Unfortunatly, this can not be controlled. Or predicted.   
  
MARCO: So, anytime now, Cassie's going to 'burp up' a crocodile?!   
  
AX: Yes.   
  
*Ewwwww...I couldn't handle disecting a worm,*  
  
MARCO: Great. Save me a front rowseat.   
  
CASSIE: ::getting up:: Ax, can you give me a ballpark figure? ::AX looks confused:: How long is this gonna last?   
  
~Cassie, using baseball terms? God spare us.~  
  
AX: Ah. Sometimes, only a few hours. However, it's more common for it to take two Earth weeks...   
  
EVERYBODY: TWO WEEKS?!   
  
~It's a Sailor Moon Episode!~  
  
*Wha?*  
  
@::singing::Fighting evil by moonlight! Winning love by daylight!   
Never running from a real fight! She is the one named Sailormoon!@  
  
*Grrr, dammit Ax I told you to stay off the internet and definately   
stay away from AG's "Musings, Sailorscouts and Singing Aliens" fic!*  
  
AX: ...For the DNA to be rejected.   
  
CASSIE: What am I supposed to do till then?   
  
AX: ::sitting CASSIE back down:: Stay as calm as possible. The uncontrollable morphing is linked to your emotions, which is why it just happened. ::looks up from CASSIE:: She became upset, and that upset the  
allergy.   
  
MARCO: Just think Spock, Cassie. ::holds up left hand in Vulcan Hand Salute:: Burp long, and prosper.   
  
~^@::Blank:: Lame.@^~  
  
*Better that than a Jedi remark.*  
  
JAKE: I think you're gonna have to tell the show you're not gonna be able to make it, Cass.   
  
RACHEL: Jake, they'll bump both of us if Cassie can't make it. And if that happens, it'll just give Jason more time to talk about The Sharing.   
  
*Admit it blondie, you wanna shag Jason.*  
  
CASSIE: I promise I'll stay calm. We can still do the show, we can still save Jason and beat the yeerks.   
  
AX: I would advise against it. Yes, the chances of hereth illint occuring tomorrow are slim...   
  
JAKE: But. It could still happen.   
  
MARCO: ::walks over to JAKE while pointing alternatly at CASSIE and RACHEL:: and we saw how goo goo ga ga these two were over that McCole guy.   
  
~::blinks:: Over his porn pictures, you mean. Admit it Marco, he's go more inches than you've got braincells~  
  
*Muahahahaha!!!*  
  
^THAT was uncalled for.^  
  
@I don't get it,@  
  
*Talk to Matero after the show dear. ::glares:: but if you talk to   
Duotre your brain will explode.*  
  
RACHEL: This wouldn't have anything to do with you guys still being jealous that we are going to be with the cutest movie star on Earth?   
  
JAKE: ::walking over to RACHEL:: Look, the yeerks are gonna be there. We have to be careful.   
  
RACHEL: ::walks over to CASSIE:: Right! That's why me and Cassie have to meet Jason to...find out whether or not he's a controller.   
  
*LIAR!*  
  
JAKE: I know. If Cassie weren't suffering from this allergy, we'd do it. But we dont' know when this burp's gonna happen. It's too risky.   
  
~AniTv Drinking game. Drink two if Jake says "It's too risky".~  
  
~^::Each down Two shots of Milk::^~  
  
TOBIAS: Jake's right, you guys.   
  
~I still say he's paying him to say that.~  
  
^I still say that you're right.^  
  
*::snickers evilly:: I'm gonna keep my comments to myself...if for   
anything cause I know Centaur Boy here will go tell Tobias if I badmouth him.*  
  
@I sure as hell will!@  
  
JAKE: Let's call it a night.   
  
~::whistles:: Oh Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassie!~  
  
::cut to CASSIE'S room at night. She's thrashing in her bed, trying to get to sleep. She turns on a light, sits up, gets out of bed, and picks up the phone::   
  
RACHEL: Hello?   
  
*Talk about speed dial.*  
  
CASSIE: Hey, Rachel. It's me. I'm sorry to call you so late but I wanted to tell you...  
  
@...that I love you!@   
  
RACHEL: You did it? You went through the burping thing?   
  
CASSIE: Well, not right now but...   
  
RACHEL: That's great! So we can still stop Jason from talking about The Sharing. I'll tell everyone else.   
  
CASSIE: Great. Cool. I--I'll see ya' tomorrow.   
  
RACHEL: 'Kay, bye.   
  
CASSIE: Bye. ::hangs up phone::   
  
^See, Cassie tried to tell her NO! So everything is Rachel's fault!^  
  
::cut to outside building where L&LL is being taped::  
  
MARCO: This is like the Rebels going into blow up the Death Star's generator. ::JAKE laughs:: It only takes one to sound the alarm.   
  
JAKE: Then we'll do it real quiet-like.   
  
RACHEL: Hey! You guys Ready?   
  
JAKE: You okay?How ya' feeling?   
  
MARCO: Man, I'm bummed! I missed the big burping, I wish I could've seen it.   
  
CASSIE: Well, it was weird, but the...uh...important thing is I'm normal again.   
  
^I wonder what she did with the Croc....^  
  
~::Grins:: Stuffed it down Jake's pants.~  
  
~^*DIVE CROCY!*^~  
  
@AHHH! NO MORE GTK REFERANCES!!!!@  
  
*::grins menacingly:: You destroy me Ax.*  
  
@NOOO!!! ::stand up and stomps away::@  
  
*Where ya goin?*  
  
@To kill the Goths.@  
  
RACHEL: Well, let's check in with the show! ::walking away:: We're gonna meet Jason John McCole! :::she and CASSIE giggle::   
  
^~*Damn fangirls!*~^  
  
JAKE: Alright. Let's move.   
  
::in makeup room::   
  
MAKEUP WOMAN: ::rubbing a brush in base:: I hope you don't have any allergies.   
  
CASSIE: No. I am not allergic.   
  
~::Snorts:: Unless is croc based.~  
  
^::Makeup lady:: OOPS! It is!^  
  
MAKEUP WOMAN: Good ::starts putting base on CASSIE::   
  
JJM(Jason John McCole):Excuse me?   
  
CASSIE: ::gasps, she, RACHEL and MAKEUP turn around::  
  
*::blinks:: Makeup moves on its own?*  
  
JJM:Is this makeup?   
  
MAKEUP WOMAN: Have a seat, I'm almost done.   
  
RACHEL: H--Hi. I'm--I'm Rachel. And..umm...that's...ummm...   
  
CASSIE: Cassie. I. Am. Cassie.   
  
@She knows her name!@  
  
*Back so soon?*  
  
@Yeah, door was locked.@  
  
JJM: Wow. That's. Really. Nice. ::laughs::  
  
*DICK!*  
  
CASSIE: ::hand starts to go croc...again::  
  
RACHEL: ::notices CASSIE'S hand:: I thought you said you were okay!   
  
JJM:Well. You're the Crocodile Dundees, 'eh?   
  
  
RACHEL:Yeah, I guess you could say that. Well, I think that's enough make up. C'mon, Cass, let's get to the  
studio.   
  
JJM:Yeah, good idea. ::sits in makeup chair:: 'Cause I don't want the Gator Girls watching me get made up.   
  
RACHEL: ::she and CASSIE stop in doorway, looking mad. RACHEL looks like she's considering morphing lion and ripping him to shreds...oh, wait, this RACHEL'S a wimp.::   
  
*Muahahahahaha!!!*  
  
~::laughs:: OHHH! Go Forley, Go Forley! It's you're birthday! ::Dances a bit:: YEAH BABY!~  
  
^It's comments like this that make me proud to be a MiSter!^  
  
~Sing it loud, brother!~  
  
@::snickers::@  
  
::out in the studio::  
  
RACHEL: I thought you said you were cured!   
  
CASSIE: I never said I was. Anyway, I didn't want to let you guys down. And I wanted to makesure Jason wasn't a controller.   
  
~She's got a point there Rach. You did that one all on your own.~  
  
RACHEL: Well, I think he just gave us his answer. That had to be the yeerk talking. I refuse to believe the real Jason would be such a snob.   
  
*You don't know much about the majority of theatre people do you Rach?   
::shakes head:: tsk tsk*  
  
^I wouldn't put it past him.^  
  
MARCO: ::as a llama:: Jake, Ax, I found the studio. It's just off the main hallway.   
  
~Scary. You aren't a Llama.~  
  
JAKE: ::as a cockroach:: Good work, Marco.   
  
AX: ::also as a cockroach:: We're on our way.   
  
~How fitting.~  
  
@HEY! I would NOT morph such a lame creature!@  
  
STAGE MANAGER: ::leading CASSIE and RACHEL:: Okay, wait here for Larry and Linda to introduce you just, uh....act natural, and be yourselves. Okay? ::she moves on as RACHEL and CASSIE seat themselves where the audience will be::   
  
RACHEL: I can't believe we're actually here!   
  
CASSIE: She wants us to wait here now?   
  
JJM:Uh, they told me the green room's closed,And, I'm sure not gonna stay out here. I shouldn't even be here. I don't do rehersals.   
  
^and I don't do.... uhh..^  
  
~Let's face it. You'd do anything that walks.~  
  
^If you're joking, that's cruel, but if you're Sarcastic, that's even worse.^  
  
~Whatever you say, Duo.~  
  
*Oy ve, didn't we alreay agree about the Gundam Wing phrases?*  
  
^Bite me.^  
  
@Hmm, now if only I had teeth,,,ha ha!@  
  
*Ax, you're not on the ball tonight.*  
  
@No, I'm on the ground! ::does drum riff impression::@  
  
*Weak Ax, very weak.*  
  
STAGE MANAGER: I'll see what I can do. ::walks away::  
  
JJM:Oh, and something to eat would be nice.   
  
CASSIE: I don't feel right.   
  
~Me neither, this show makes me sick.~   
  
RACHEL: ::glaring at JJM:: I know what you mean. That better be the yeerk talking, or Jason is just your average, snobby, self centered, movie star.   
  
CASSIE: No, I really don't feel right.   
  
RACHEL: Oh, oh no. Right here? Right now?   
  
^TAKE ME YOU WILD GIRL!^  
  
*::rotflmao!!!::*  
  
CASSIE: What else could it be? ::climbs out of chair onto floor:: The instincts, I don't think I'll be able to control them!   
  
RACHEL: Okay. ::helps CASSIE up and walks her across stage to restroom::  
  
CASSIE: Oh! Oh! Hurry! ::runs in and makes sure it's empty::  
  
RACHEL: Cassie, stay calm! You have to stay calm!   
  
CASSIE: Rachel, this isn't me! Don't you understand? It's real! ::goes into a stall::  
  
RACHEL: ::looks concerned. Sees the stall walls shaking:: Cassie? Cassie? ::sees a croc tail under stall door.::  
~Who's in there with you and does he have a friend with him?~  
  
CASSIE: ::crawling out of stall under wall:: Okay, it's out! C'mon, let's go! ::both race out of restroom, leaving the croc::   
  
^So they just LEFT IT THERE?!^  
  
*Shows how smart THEY are,*  
  
::back on stage, JJM is talking with the stage manager::  
  
STAGE MANAGER: Is there something else I can get you?   
  
*Soda, sandwich, condoms,*  
  
@DOLPHINA!@  
  
JJM:Nope.   
  
STAGE MANAGER: ::walks away from JJM. CASSIE and RACHEL run up to her::  
  
CASSIE: Excuse me! Excuse me! ::out of breath:: I hate to cause a panic, but there's a...a...   
  
STAGE MANAGER: ::croc comes out on stage, she sees it:: AHHHHHHHHH!!!   
  
~Well, that ruins the surprise.~  
  
::everyone runs around in panic. JJM faints, a "yeerk" is crawling over his shoe::  
  
~Such a manyly man, really.~  
  
^Can't live up to his inches, eh?^  
  
~I'm never gonna hear the end of that one, am I?~  
  
MARCO: ::still a llama:: Jason was a controller, that slimy yeerk slug is trying to get away before the croc gets Jason. That's why he's bailing.   
  
JAKE: ::he and AX are still cockroaches:: That means he's not a controller.   
  
CASSIE: He's making a break for Jason. We've gotta save him! ::she and RACHEL run over and start slapping his face to wake him up. They get him concious and out of harms way.::   
  
JAKE: Check it out, the croc's goin' after the run away slug.   
  
MARCO: And we've got front row seats. ::croc head directly for yeerk:: Look at 'im go. The yeerk doesn't stand a chance.   
  
~You do know that a real croc would NEVER go after something so tiny.~  
  
*Of course...guess that's why he'd never go for Marco ::grin evilly::   
muahahahaha*  
  
::JAKE, RACHEL, CASSIE and MARCO back at Cyberia::  
  
JAKE: I don't think Jason McCole's gonna be doing anymore talk shows.   
  
RACHEL:He said he was quiting show business, and moving to Tibet to follow the Dalai Lama.   
  
~^CLICHE!^~  
  
CASSIE: Guys, listen. I'm really sorry I lied, I just didn't want my allergy to stop us from getting the yeerks. Well, that and the fact that I really wanted to meet Jason.   
  
~^YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! RACHEL DID!^~  
  
*But I thought Cassie stopped the croc from attacking...I'M   
CONFFUZZLED!!*  
  
MARCO: You were in looooooove.   
  
CASSIE: No I wasn't! I was just selfish. It could have easily gone the other way. We were lucky.   
  
~Being in love and being selfish are the same. Sorta.~  
  
MARCO: To quote the great Obi Wan Kanobi,"In my expirience, there's no such thing as luck."   
  
~I naught remember him saying that!~  
  
^No more Julius Caesar for you today.^  
  
*::grumbles:: I remember him saying that, and Marco, no offense, but   
you are NOT Alec McGuinness!*  
  
@Ha ha! Jedi referance! muahahaha!@  
  
JAKE: Hey, you did what you had to do. We all make mistakes.   
  
MARCO: Well, except for me. Of course.   
  
JAKE: Right. Right, except for Marco.   
  
^Damn right.^  
  
~Oh shut up.~  
  
CASSIE:That's it... ::everyone starts throwing nachos at MARCO, then just CASSIE and RACHEL are throwing them at MARCO and JAKE, causing them to leave::   
  
~How wasteful!~  
  
^Yes. Very.^  
  
CASSIE VO: Morphing does have alot of rules, but more important are human rules. Like being truthful. When I lied to my friends about my allergy, I not only let them down, I let myself down. As long as we can learn from our mistakes, things have a funny way of working out in the end.   
  
~Someone cue the Sailor Moon music.~  
  
^Damn. We need lives.^  
  
*Speak for yourself!*  
  
~Yeah. Next MiST I might do with Chaos. What do you think Dolphina?~  
  
*Muahaha, sounds like an evil plan.*  
  
@I am leaving. No more MiST's for me...Thank you everyone but   
goodnight for a while, I need a break from these wackos@  
  
*Hmmm, now what do I do?*  
  
~Join us next time!~ 


End file.
